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Original poster

He was scrolling through bumble during our date

62 replies

Anotherdatingfail · 05/02/2023 08:00

Went on a first date yesterday, had a few drinks and a bite to eat, and I thought things were going well.

Towards the end of the date, when I was walking back from the ladies, I could see he was scrolling through bumble on his phone :-/

I feel like this is disrespectful, and I’m a bit upset that he was looking for alternative options whilst we were still out. Having said that, I am at the point with dating where I’m questioning my own judgement on situations!

Would you be ok with this?

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 05/02/2023 09:40

Surely the meal was a lot more expensive than the drinks?

I would have walked at that point, OP, not paid for his dinner!

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 05/02/2023 09:41

Rude to be messing round on your phone for any reason when you're having dinner with someone.

ManAboutTown · 05/02/2023 09:42

At the very least he has no manners. Wouldn't bother again if I was you

Dejavu23 · 05/02/2023 09:43

That’s really awful. I assume you were left out of pocket as well? That’s why I always just do a coffee not a meal on a first date.

gettingoldandwrinkly · 05/02/2023 09:47

Annoying isn't it OP. I've seen a date check his phone while we were chatting but not check a dating site. Has your date asked to see you again?

BertaHoon · 05/02/2023 09:54

I would have just carried on walking straight out of the door leaving him oblivious.

emptythelitterbox · 05/02/2023 09:57

Next
He's rude and disrespectful.
Don't pay for meals for men.
Meet for one drink or a coffee.

When there is real equality between the sexes as in pay, childcare, health care, clothing hair makeup costs, birth control, then you can pay.

50/50 dating is pretend equality thought up by men do do even less than they already do.

DominoBlue · 05/02/2023 09:59

YOU bought the food why? Surely that was more expensive than the drinks? And possibly you had more than one drink each? You should have halved the food. That was the first red flag. The checking on Bumble on the date indicates he will probably never be satisfied and alwsys think there's a better option out there. Thank your lucky stars you saw through him on the first date.

samqueens · 05/02/2023 10:05

NOT fine. On no planet fine. 🚩🚩🚩🚩

”When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”

Notaboutthebass · 05/02/2023 10:27

Was he aware that you could see him doing it?

greyfox82 · 05/02/2023 10:30

Save yourself the mental energy and move on. I have wasted hours of my life trying to work out men's minds. It really is true - if they are in to you they'll make an effort if they're not they won't. Just move on. If he gets in touch for another date - great. If he doesn't you haven't invested emotionally. It's not worth your time - you're worth more than this

Ryder68 · 05/02/2023 10:38

First meeting should always be a day time coffee, and not involve a lot of expense or alcohol imo.

Ladybug14 · 05/02/2023 10:48

I think he could have managed to respect your time with him for a few hours

Baldieheid · 05/02/2023 10:54

It's disrespectful, he didn't expect to get caught and now you know he's not that interested in you.
I'd be a little insulted, as you are, but thankful I didn't invest any more energy into a bloke who isn't into me.

been and done it. · 05/02/2023 10:59

First date would be last date for me. Complete tool.

PrincessConstance · 05/02/2023 10:59

Move one.
Rude and disrespectful.
Next date.

PrincessConstance · 05/02/2023 10:59

Move on.

wheretoyougonow · 05/02/2023 11:01

No good love story started with a man checking out other women on the first date.
You are worth more. Find someone who looks forward to you returning to the table. Good luck Flowers

KissTheRainAgain · 05/02/2023 11:02

Not well mannered of him at all, but you were out of the room as far as he was concerned.

Why were you staring that hard at his screen, what did you expect to see?

KissTheRainAgain · 05/02/2023 11:03

He could have as easily been doing online banking, and it wouldn’t be polite to look. Much like eavesdroppers, snoops are rarely made happy by their snooping.

LadyJ2023 · 05/02/2023 11:03

Tbh its a no no from me if he can't give you attention for one date move on.Probably dating loads anyhow

determinedtomakethiswork · 05/02/2023 11:44

KissTheRainAgain · 05/02/2023 11:03

He could have as easily been doing online banking, and it wouldn’t be polite to look. Much like eavesdroppers, snoops are rarely made happy by their snooping.

Are you saying that she should go by what he says rather than by what she's seen him do?

ChaToilLeam · 05/02/2023 11:47

He clearly has no manners. Chalk it up to experience and throw him back! I wouldn’t do a dinner on a first date though. Coffee is enough and doesn’t demand much in the way of time or money.

Mindyoursoul · 05/02/2023 11:53

Rude and disrespectful! Don’t by made to feel like this is ok to do as you are not exclusive. Your instincts have told you this isn’t on and they are right, trust them!

Keepyourmummysboys · 05/02/2023 11:57

Honestly. It’s a first date. He’s not into you, forget it and move on. It’s sad you saw. But if he’s so bored he’s on a dating app then it’s irrelevant if it’s ok or not. He’s not feeling it so move on.

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