If you live with someone who is very negative and you are not, how to you cope?

[freez]

Ltb is not an option so I need some practical advice.

I need a book or podcast to keep me on track. I need to wrap myself in a protective cloak to keep out his bloody misery and negativity. It's exhausting.

How does this nonsense actually work?

Don’t subject your children to this misery for the sake of your financial comfort.

My DH is quite negative. I just call him out on it and we laugh about it

I had a frank conversation with mine. Said he was a mood hoover who sucked the joy out of literally everything. He started on Sertraline and he’s back to the amazing, life of the party man he was when we first met.

One thing that helps is to not try to counter the negativity with your positivity outwardly. Bear in mind people naturally try to balance things out. If he were with someone more negative than him, chances are he’d become more positive. It’s his problem though.

Seriously though, if he doesn’t improve you need an exit plan.

Sounds like it’s based in Jungian psychology, the four personality types.

I'd use this time as a SAHM to maximize your potential earlings by studying and then hit the ground running when you and the DC have had enough.

It'll be sooner than you think.

You need to be busy on the weekends to survive this OP. Does he do this negativity in front of just you or does he behave this way in company? My negative one could turn it on and off and I worked out he did it with me for attention and was bright and cheerful and not in the slightest bit negative in front of friends and colleagues. I also showed him up a few times when he started on trying to get out of doing family things and get all negative, I would say right we have had an hour of your why we cant now get your bloody coat and I will show you why we can and why we are, Oh the sulking that followed was priceless but eventually you will take away his power by using your own strength,If you want to go out and hes trying all ways with the negativity to block it say ok last chance you coming or not? He says not get your coat and go,every time.He might buck up his ideas after a while when he sees you are serious about living your life and you can with or without his input,Empower you, first job,Dont beg or plead dont ask more than once go and have fun.Have a plan for the day,dont say when you are coming home just go and live and enjoy your day.Do not ask him how he has been whie you were out,dont say anything,other than me and the kids have had a lovely day thank you,no more details. He will either dislike your courage and change when he sees you are serious or you will get to the point when you see the world is scary but you can cope without him and you will not want to compromise anymore, Win win for you let him moan to himself on the sofa while you go live and have fun.

Some great advice on here and some fair points.

I want the relationship to work but not at all costs.
I don't dislike him and I'm not using him so I can be a SAHM. I don't sit watching day time tv all day, I work my arse off with the kids and home. I value my role highly, it's not a cop out. It's not a way of life everyone would like I realise that.

I can walk back into my career (at the exact point I left) the day the youngest starts school which is a huge positive.

I do take on board all the points people have raised. I'm going to think long and hard about my own behaviour and also I'll be calling him out on his. Most importantly I will not let my children suffer.