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Relationships

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Original poster

Partner speaking to women on webcam

39 replies

missunderstood2023 · 02/02/2023 23:24

I came home early tonight after seeing my friends, he wasn't expecting me and when I walked in, he was on webcam (Omegle or whatever it's called) chatting with a woman, mainly "where are you from in the world, how's your evening" etc but I can't help but feel hurt. He closed the browser down as soon as he noticed me.

Hes done this in the past and I told him I didn't like it but he tells me it's innocent and it's just for "fun and he finds it entertaining and it's harmless". He's also told me it's not like he's cheating since nothing sexual goes on but how do I know that?

Our relationship was on the rocks a few months ago and I gave him an ultimatum to sort out his binge drinking which he did, but tonight I came home to him having a glass of whiskey (and clearly tipsy) and I just feel betrayed with him first of all drinking because I'm scared he will go back to this habit and secondly for speaking to other people on cam while I'm out the house.

Am I wrong to feel a bit betrayed or am I being stupid?

OP posts:

Sickofcoughing · 03/02/2023 10:00

I got a flashback to my younger self in this conflict fifteen or twenty years ago. How I wish I had a time machine. Don't waste your time wondering if you're entitled to feel betrayed. You feel betrayed, not happy. Get rid of the tosser and get happy.

Grandmasword · 03/02/2023 10:33

Would your DP be ok with you binge drinking and chatting to men online? He is gaslighting you by telling you its harmless, cheating is not just having sex, its closing down a chat with someon onlune when the partner walkes in, be vague about the chat, or lying, also, his drinking is never going to be fixed and its not your job to fix him, raise him. Ask yourself if you will tolerate this for another 5 years, because its not going to change. Raise your standards

GoldDuster · 03/02/2023 10:37

Forget what he's telling you, close your ears for a minute to his bullshit and concentrate on what you can see with your own eyes.

If this is not what you want, you leave.

purpledalmation · 03/02/2023 10:41

That would be me done.

TicketBoo23 · 03/02/2023 13:47

missunderstood2023 · 03/02/2023 09:54

@Naunet I saw an attractive looking young woman when I walked in on him but apparently he was speaking to a mixture of people but that's his words which I can't even trust right now

He talks to a variety of people on Omegle but, in a strange quirk of chance, he was talking to an attractive young woman when you walked in on him.

Sure.

I predict if he had the chance his Omegle "connections" would turn into emotional affairs (and further if the opportunity arose).

HHe's one of those people who thinks he can cheat (or lay the foundations to cheat) right under your nose while gas lighting you

TicketBoo23 · 03/02/2023 13:49

Thats one major issue.

The other one is his drinking.

That's two major issues too many

TicketBoo23 · 03/02/2023 13:53

You've been turned into nagging mammy by him ... Interfering with his driving and schmoozing any attractive woman who'll hobe him the time of day online (he's probably too delusional to know many attractive people who give you the time of day online are often hustlers for money, visas etc).

You step outside the door and he's back on a webcam with a drink in his hand.

Who wants forced to be naggy mammy in a relationship.

Bet he doesnt pull his weight around the house either.

TicketBoo23 · 03/02/2023 14:30

*his drinking

Bookworm20 · 03/02/2023 15:03

If it was innocent and just chatting to interesting strangers around the world, he'd be telling you all about it, no? Even involving you and showing you what it is?
His reaction was to shut down the browser as soon as you saw.

And it just happened to be a beautiful woman he was chatting to. What a coincidence.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 03/02/2023 16:04

OP You need to wise up. He's not just chatting to these women. For one thing he is paying them and web-camming as I understand it is where he asks them to perform sexual acts for him to watch. There is no - where do you come from.. it's more case of show me your xxxxxx whatever is applicable and 'play with it' or something similar so he is cheating on you.
Get shut of him

drivingavanbacknorth · 03/02/2023 16:20

He's obviously an A star gaslighter if you have to even question this, OP.

Fine if you'd discussed it together beforehand and you both like to chat or have cyber sex with others. But he made a unilateral decision to indulge in this hobby and he knew damn well you wouldn't like it so he did it in secret.

He's untrustworthy and therefore not worthy of your trust.

Spaceprincess · 04/02/2023 10:32

Does he have harmless online chit chat with men when he’s bored?…
thought not, hoy him into the sea.

MrsSkylerWhite · 04/02/2023 10:34

fdgdfgdfgdfg · Yesterday 09:15
I think a lot of the responses on here are being tainted by the assumption that Omegle is cam girls.

It's not, Omegle just connects you to a random other person in the world to chat. It not like a sex cam site, where you can pay people to get their kit off.

That's not to say he's not using it to flirt with women, but that's not it's primary purpose. I've had chats on there about gaming, books, spoken to a 70 year old bloke in peru for 2 hours about his life etc.”

Does your partner mind?

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 04/02/2023 12:07

He is a useless twat, you can do better.

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