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Original poster

Partner speaking to women on webcam

39 replies

missunderstood2023 · 02/02/2023 23:24

I came home early tonight after seeing my friends, he wasn't expecting me and when I walked in, he was on webcam (Omegle or whatever it's called) chatting with a woman, mainly "where are you from in the world, how's your evening" etc but I can't help but feel hurt. He closed the browser down as soon as he noticed me.

Hes done this in the past and I told him I didn't like it but he tells me it's innocent and it's just for "fun and he finds it entertaining and it's harmless". He's also told me it's not like he's cheating since nothing sexual goes on but how do I know that?

Our relationship was on the rocks a few months ago and I gave him an ultimatum to sort out his binge drinking which he did, but tonight I came home to him having a glass of whiskey (and clearly tipsy) and I just feel betrayed with him first of all drinking because I'm scared he will go back to this habit and secondly for speaking to other people on cam while I'm out the house.

Am I wrong to feel a bit betrayed or am I being stupid?

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 02/02/2023 23:26

I think you'd be stupid to stay with this loser. He's an alcoholic (or heading that way fast) and a player. Do you not deserve better?

QuantifiedSpecific · 02/02/2023 23:27

No, you should put up with it, so what if he’s drinking and talking to strange women on line? Why not pour him a drink and pop on some nice frillies, and then he wouldn’t have to look elsewhere for a woman.

FFS.

Honey83 · 02/02/2023 23:27

I don't think you're being stupid at all. If it's totally harmless, why did he close it down as soon as you walked in?

GrazingSheep · 02/02/2023 23:29

Are you desperate to be in a relationship?

Original poster
missunderstood2023 · 02/02/2023 23:29

Honey83 · 02/02/2023 23:27

I don't think you're being stupid at all. If it's totally harmless, why did he close it down as soon as you walked in?

Apparently because he knew I'd be angry.

OP posts:
BlueWhiteStripe · 02/02/2023 23:31

That would be the relationship over for me

Original poster
missunderstood2023 · 02/02/2023 23:31

GrazingSheep · 02/02/2023 23:29

Are you desperate to be in a relationship?

It definitely seems like I am.

OP posts:
Ofcourseshecan · 02/02/2023 23:35

He keeps letting you down, OP. You deserve better.

trythisforsize · 02/02/2023 23:40

Get rid

GreyCarpet · 03/02/2023 06:44

FFS.

Honestly, OP, if you have to garner the opinions of strangers for this one then there really us no hope for you.

If I came home to find this, the relationship would be over immediately. I wouldn't even be having a conversation about it.

Penguinsmum · 03/02/2023 06:51

Raise your standards!

EVHead · 03/02/2023 06:53

Absolutely unacceptable! Find your self regard and dump this arsehole.

bordhoose · 03/02/2023 07:12

Fuck that - you've told him where your boundaries are, he's told you and showed you that he has no intention of respecting them.

You're not being stupid to feel betrayed, at all. He has a choice - choose to respect your boundaries, consider your feelings and stop chatting to women online, or choose to prioritise his online 'fun' and live his life without you in it. It sounds like he's already decided what's most important to him, so personally I'd be out.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 03/02/2023 07:21

He's useless isn't he? So pathetic he needs props of booze and cam girls to function. Which means he's not relationship material. And not good enough for you. I'm not sure what your living arrangements are but work on them being not with him. You've told him your boundaries and he can't live up to that. Time to let him find a partner as useless as he is.

GreyCarpet · 03/02/2023 07:30

Time to let him find a partner as useless as he is.

If you stay with him, that is you.

No one with ant self respect would put up with this.

TicketBoo23 · 03/02/2023 08:03

How would he be about it if you were chatting to other ken on Omegle?

Perfectly ok with it?

You really need to end it with him but just as an experiment; you do that while he's around. Ho on and start camming other on there; if he objects, repeat every one of his lines back at him as to why it's harmless and acceptable.

Anyway he knows you weren't ok with it, for understandable reasons, he's continued it behind your back. He shut it down immediately because he knows he agreed (?) to stop doing it but is doing it anyway.

Then there's the alcohol abuse/dependance - which he'd clearly not solving either.

You're trying yourself to a sleazy, cheating (even if it's not physical) drunk who goes back on his word.

moonriverandme · 03/02/2023 08:06

You aren't wrong & you aren't stupid. He is selfish, entitled & disrespectful.. What are you going to do about it?

WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody · 03/02/2023 08:31

Innocent?

so as soon as you're out of the house he's 'chatting' to other women & drinking.

why are you still with him?

Original poster
missunderstood2023 · 03/02/2023 08:37

Thanks for your replies on this! Glad to know I'm not being unreasonable here. When someone gaslights you it's easy to sit and think "am I actually being OTT here?".

OP posts:
fdgdfgdfgdfg · 03/02/2023 09:15

I think a lot of the responses on here are being tainted by the assumption that Omegle is cam girls.

It's not, Omegle just connects you to a random other person in the world to chat. It not like a sex cam site, where you can pay people to get their kit off.

That's not to say he's not using it to flirt with women, but that's not it's primary purpose. I've had chats on there about gaming, books, spoken to a 70 year old bloke in peru for 2 hours about his life etc.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 03/02/2023 09:19

@QuantifiedSpecific · Yesterday 23:27
No, you should put up with it, so what if he’s drinking and talking to strange women on line? Why not pour him a drink and pop on some nice frillies, and then he wouldn’t have to look elsewhere for a woman.
FFS.

Go away you nasty piece of work

trythisforsize · 03/02/2023 09:45

I'm think @QuantifiedSpecific was being sarcastic @ChangedmynameagainforChristmas

that's how I read it anyway

Naunet · 03/02/2023 09:45

Hes done this in the past and I told him I didn't like it but he tells me it's innocent and it's just for "fun and he finds it entertaining and it's harmless". He's also told me it's not like he's cheating since nothing sexual goes on but how do I know that?

Right, so he talks to men and older women too then, right?! What a load of shit, and you can bet he wouldn’t be happy with you doing the same thing. He’s not the man for you OP.

TicketBoo23 · 03/02/2023 09:53

so he talks to men and older women too then, right?!

Yeah,why is it he's only been taking to women exactly (?)

Given that men often find more in common with other men, more common interests etc. - what a coincidence that he's apparently only web canning women.

And I didn't think it was sex cams .... Op made it clear it was Omegle.

Original poster
missunderstood2023 · 03/02/2023 09:54

@Naunet I saw an attractive looking young woman when I walked in on him but apparently he was speaking to a mixture of people but that's his words which I can't even trust right now

OP posts:
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