Red flag or am I over reacting?

[Mumtothethreeamigos]

Messaging someone on Bumble and he seems really interesting and then lots of questions like would you rather have amazing sex once or mediocre sex everyday. You find a video of your parents fucking or they find one of you. Then he tells me a ‘funny story’ about how his son was in his room aged 5 and said look dad I’m a unicorn and he had his butt plug on his head. He included a link to said butt plug. So I have a history of attracting abusive and narcissist men. Is this a bad sign? I told him I thought it was unsubtle and cliched and if he likes using see toys just say it rather than make up some story about his son. He said I’d got it all wrong and he thought I would find it funny. I think he’s a dick but then I think am I too judgemental? Is this why I’m single ? Opinions please 🙏🏻

I think you are going to have to go with your gut rather then have anyone of us persuade you.

He would do well as a matador.

The hills are that way 》》》》》

🤮

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Run

Anyone bringing up sex this early when you havnt started the conversation is being inappropriate

Block & delete

You haven't met yet and needed advice

Take some time to work on yourself

Xx

He sounds fucking awful. No boundaries. Run a mile.

Also, a jokey sex anecdote involving a child is a massive red flag.

Yuck. No. Bye bye!

He’s a dick.

He sounds vile

He’s a dick - you are right

The time I was OLD , I ran a mile if they brought up sex early on, but the story involving a child Would have me running for the hills . Grossly inappropriate and creepy - it’s a no from me

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Do yourself a favour and just block him. No more engaging with him or explanations. Just disappear.

Gross.

Dirty pig.

Good God No

Before I read any answers I told him to do one. Just reading what I had written about him made me think 🤮. My gauge of what is normal and what is healthy is so skewed due to a lot of historic abuse but I feel I’m finally learning! Thank you for confirming my gut was right. It was horrible and I don’t want to think of someone I haven’t met using a butt plus and his son using it as a unicorn horn. Gross 🤮 onwards and upwards

Does he honestly think anyone would find the story about his five year old funny?

Ugggh anyone bringing up sex before you've even met is a boring twat.

You can do better

You are posting here because he's giving you weird/off vibes. Trust your own judgement.

Unless you want a one night stand, unmatch.

There’s playful flirting and then there’s butt plugs…

Sounds immature to me so personally wouldn't bother. Plus grown ups looking for a real relationship would realise that you don't discuss sex that early on. Fwb maybe but still those comments would be a turn off for me.

This guys got a sex addiction or something. I’d be running for the hills.

I agree with you all. My guy said utter prick but then the abuse loving side said yes: this is familiar, a man who values looks and sex above anything else. Thank god im
growing. Having a bit of back up from you ladies is priceless when on the start of the journey to healthy relationships. Thank you x

If you haven’t read it already then I highly recommend Lundy Bancroft book Why Does He Do That? (Download on kindle app). It’s very insightful about abusive relationships and great for helping to spot red flags early on (I mean subtler flags than the ones this guy was clearly waving!)

He sounds grim. Definitely a red flag for me