Advice please! Man I like moved into the area. We have mutual friends and are connected professionally (don't work together, just both in the same field) though we had never met. Both divorced. Anyway, we hit it off when we met. I was the only person he knew here, and he decided to stay more long term I think based on the fact that he had me here.
I definitely was interested in him romantically, but held off because I'm not ready for a relationship and we are so closely entwined with all the other things, it would be tricky. However to start with he wanted to see me all the time, we spent a lot of time texting when we didn't see each other. It was all a bit chaotic though, he would ring at the last minute, and I often said no even though I liked him. I found it quite overwhelming.
Fast forward a couple of months and he went unexpectedly silent after a night out. When I finally asked him if he was ok, there was an exchange where he said he'd been out on a date (on a night we'd had tentative plans to meet). I think he's been doing a fair bit of this. I was starting to think it all needed to be clarified as he was demanding so much of my time and attention but we weren't being romantic. I don't really have an interest in being his gal pal and if he is dating then I would have scaled back the time together, although not falling out because I like him, wish him well, and I'm not ready for a relationship anyway. I'm busy in my own life, and fine with just being not too close friends.
He is having a minor surgery in a couple of weeks. A few weeks ago, he asked if I would meet him after it. He must be met and someone be with him for 24 hours. I agreed, I was glad to at the time.
When it transpired he'd been on this date I was pissed off that he had not mentioned it. He was pissed off that I seemed to be expecting him to answer for himself. He said we were just friends. I said that friends would be clear about what was going on, and that I felt he had messed me about. We had spent so much time together that I did feel our friendship merited straight forwardness. We have gone quiet with each other, and I do not know when I will hear from him. I have no urge to get in touch with him.
Anyway, I definitely do not want to meet him and nurse him after his surgery. I feel this is the job of a girlfriend or a friend. I feel I am only 'company' or an acquaintance and it is a big ask to nurse/watch over a guy you don't know well. I want to get out of it with enough notice for him to sort out someone else. And I don't want to be rude or petty as we are still in all these circles. Ideally I would not get in touch with him at all, and just how it all pans out, but I don't think I can be silent about the surgery if I'm not going to do it.
Thank you for any advice...