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Original poster

Did my partner cheat if I now have HPV

69 replies

naggy095 · 29/01/2023 11:43

I recently had a cervical biopsy which confirmed hpv associated changes. I had smear tests in 2017 and most recently March 2022, both of those tests showed no changes and all normal, so the virus has come up at some point in the past 10 months.

I understand it can lie dormant for many years, but I’ve been with my partner for almost 12 years and have never cheated on him. We’ve been together since we were teenagers and he said he was a virgin before we got together. I had 2 other sexual encounters before my partner and I got together.

Is it likely my partner has cheated and that’s how I have hpv now? In the past couple of years he’s been working a lot of overtime and has become obsessed with the gym and his appearance recently. I honestly would never imagine he’d be unfaithful

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 29/01/2023 12:01

Probably best to ask your healthcare professional.

Ohdearnotagain76 · 29/01/2023 12:03

I don't think it means he's cheated no, but best to ask at clinic

ArcticSkewer · 29/01/2023 12:03

What they tell you to your face (it could be dormant for years) and say privately (bollocks, bet he cheated) are two different things - just personal chats with GPs about this

qqq82 · 29/01/2023 12:05

You'll never know unless you do end up having proof he cheated and even then you still can't guarantee it wasn't picked up from your previous partners
I had cells removed in 2010 and then had no issues until recently when my smears have started coming back hpv+ after years of being negative
I'm pretty certain it's the same infection reoccurring after my pregnar buggered my immune system

Rollingaroundinmud · 29/01/2023 12:12

You do not need to have penetrative sex. You can get HPV from: any skin-to-skin contact of the genital area.
www.nhs.uk › conditions › h...
Human papillomavirus (HPV) - NHS

qqq82 · 29/01/2023 12:14

Also are you sure the 2022 smear was hpv- as that seems very quick for changes to occur , why did you have the biopsy?

Fuckthatguy · 29/01/2023 12:15

@ArcticSkewer why would a GP be knowingly misleading about medical facts?

Maryandherlamb · 29/01/2023 12:20

No, absolutely not, you can get it from anywhere.

ArcticSkewer · 29/01/2023 12:21

Fuckthatguy · 29/01/2023 12:15

@ArcticSkewer why would a GP be knowingly misleading about medical facts?

Why do you think they may choose not to tell them?

Knoblauch · 29/01/2023 12:24

Fuckthatguy · 29/01/2023 12:15

@ArcticSkewer why would a GP be knowingly misleading about medical facts?

They wouldn't.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 29/01/2023 12:26

Well I had it around 2017. Last smear in 2020 was clear of it and I can be sure my DH has never cheated and we've been together since 2002.

Fuckthatguy · 29/01/2023 12:29

@ArcticSkewer your responses are confusing, you initially stated the say one thing to your face and then another privately which tells me one version is not correct.

I would have the expectation that a GP would remain impartial when discussing medical matters. Concerning really if this isn’t the case which is what your post alludes to.

qqq82 · 29/01/2023 12:32

You hear of people being single for years and suddenly have a flare up
There's no way you can ever know if it's a new infection or it's been dormant in this scenario

Original poster
naggy095 · 29/01/2023 12:33

qqq82 · 29/01/2023 12:14

Also are you sure the 2022 smear was hpv- as that seems very quick for changes to occur , why did you have the biopsy?

I've been having bleeding after sex so my GP urgently referred me to gynae for a colposcopy and the consultant didn't like the way my cervix bled so easily so did a biopsy.

2022 smear definitely said no changes and all normal

OP posts:
Endpress · 29/01/2023 12:43

They say 80% of people have it. It’s possible you got it from one of the other two. Annoying. You’ll never know probably.

palelavender · 29/01/2023 12:51

You say that in the past couple of years he’s been working a lot of overtime and has become obsessed with the gym and his appearance recently. Working lots of overtime and becoming obssessed with the gym and his appearance don't go together really do they? Given this recent diagnosis, I would be suspicious that something was going on. I think I'd be asking whether there was anything he wanted to tell me.

Mariposa26 · 29/01/2023 12:53

You could have absolutely had it for years and it has only flared up now. I wouldn’t jump straight into thinking he has cheated. I suddenly had it after being single for ages and not sleeping with anyone.

HelloBunny · 29/01/2023 12:54

I had it after having my baby. It showed up on a smear test. Follow-up a year later, all-clear. My doctor explained what it is / how it works. Talk to your GP / nurse about it.

Chewbecca · 29/01/2023 12:56

Overtime, gym and appearance obsessive points nore definitively to unfaithfulness than HPV which could be due to many things, unfaithfulness included.

lobsterkiller · 29/01/2023 12:56

The nurse who did my smear told me that you can be each others firsts and get it. I don't think it's an indication of cheating.

The reason I asked, is that at the time of the smear I hadn't had sex in years and I mean 13!
i asked her my risk of hov/cancer. She said it made no difference and explained the above.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/01/2023 13:03

"The nurse who did my smear told me that you can be each others firsts and get it."

How? I don't think this is correct. HPV is a sexually transmitted infection so if both were virgins when they got together (including skin contact as a pp mentions above), where would it come from? You don't just develop it if you've never caught it in the first place.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/01/2023 13:05

ArcticSkewer · 29/01/2023 12:03

What they tell you to your face (it could be dormant for years) and say privately (bollocks, bet he cheated) are two different things - just personal chats with GPs about this

In that case, women who've been celibate for yours shouldn't need to have Hpv or smear tests, but that is not official advice.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/01/2023 13:09

Fuckthatguy · 29/01/2023 12:15

@ArcticSkewer why would a GP be knowingly misleading about medical facts?

I think are plenty of examples in history of medical professionals being misleading about medical facts.
Lobster's nurse seems to be one example (unless Lobster misunderstood what she meant).

knittingaddict · 29/01/2023 13:10

Gwenhwyfar · 29/01/2023 13:03

"The nurse who did my smear told me that you can be each others firsts and get it."

How? I don't think this is correct. HPV is a sexually transmitted infection so if both were virgins when they got together (including skin contact as a pp mentions above), where would it come from? You don't just develop it if you've never caught it in the first place.

Indeed. I would love to know this too. Sounds wrong to me.

ArcticSkewer · 29/01/2023 13:13

Gwenhwyfar · 29/01/2023 13:09

I think are plenty of examples in history of medical professionals being misleading about medical facts.
Lobster's nurse seems to be one example (unless Lobster misunderstood what she meant).

Show quote history

Haha I am so glad you said that, I didn't want to comment yet again 😂