I had enough of waiting 💍

[Younganddumb]

So just wanted others opinion on this 😂🙈 I've been with my partner for six years, we have two children together and I've had many chats over the last few years with him about wanting a ring on my finger and marriage in the very near future.. he kept saying he was going to do it but the time never came, I finally got to breaking point about a week ago and said that I'm booking a registry office wedding for August (he did agree to this btw).. I went ahead and booked it and sent him a link to the ring that I wanted 😂🙈 It turned up today and he let me try it on (not a proposal, just making sure it fit). Do you guys think that was silly or genius? 😂

What a sour, nasty post designed to deflate the OP’s happiness. I hope you wouldn’t really be so foolish as to ‘always be unhappy’ over this.

Most proposals are ‘staged’ as people keep rudely writing. I don’t think I know anybody who hadn’t already discussed and agreed on marriage long before the proposal.

Congratulations OP. I hope your married life together is very happy.

You’ve made it abundantly clear for YEARS you wanted to get married, you’ve had two of his children - let me guess you also do the bulk of the childcare/wifework? He still couldn’t be bothered to propose or even choose a ring. Are you really sure this is what you want? A man who at best is ambivalent about marrying you?

@YaWeeFurryBastard he is actually amazing at helping out around the house/with the kids and regularly gives me time to myself 😊 I genuinely think he was just dragging his feet, I know he values me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.. just because he hasn't proposed before doesn't mean he loves me any less! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion though 🥂

I'll be honest, I never got a proposal. (My DH is an 'under the radar' kind of guy who doesn't like a performance.) But we've been married almost 17 years and are very happy. No regrets whatsoever.

A proposal isn't the be all and end all. The marriage is what counts.

I hope you will be very happy, OP

Congratulations OP! Please ignore the doom and gloom posters on here. I’m proud that you haven’t just coasted along wondering “will he, won’t he”. You’ve taken control and you should be very proud. You are more brave than the vast majority of women I know and I hope your OH does give you a lovely proposal and make it something to properly celebrate with your families.

Genius, some blokes just need a shove

I don't know why everyone is congratulating you on this tbh.

You've not got someone who's desperately enthusiastic to marry you - if he was he'd have made some effort off his own back.

All you've done is gone ahead and put him in a position where he has to break up with you or go along with it.. You've got what you want, obviously, but pretty manipulatively.

Why is it genius? Didn't you both just agree to get married?

Gently, a man that valued you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you would have proposed before you got pregnant, or as soon as if it was an accident. I’m not saying this to be nasty, I’m saying this because you deserve a man who’s actively keen on you, not one who’s just going along with it because you’ve booked the registry and bought the ring. I mean this in the kindest possible way.

In answer to your question - definitely genius.

@YaWeeFurryBastard It was my choice to start our family first as he is a fair bit older than me and I always wanted children, I told him not to propose just because I was pregnant as I didn't want to feel he did it just because I was pregnant 😂 I know that he is actively keen on me regardless of how we go about getting married

Ignore some of these comments OP. You know if he loves you or not and he clearly does. For some people marriage isn’t that important so happy to have kids first. Only on MN should people be married first

Definitely genius!

Aren’t most proposals ‘performance’ these days in the sense that most couples discuss before hand that they do indeed want to get married and discuss timing… I’m not sure a total surprise proposal is a good thing - would you really want to make a life changing decision on the spot?

I say congrats OP and I hope he does do the whole proposal thing in the holiday - it’ll be a lovely memory.

Congratulations!

I did the same. 1st Jan 2020 I asked him if he wanted to get married at 2 or 4 pm. Married 29th February 2020. I was 6 months pregnant and wanted the security (we had been together 13 years since we were 19) in case of splitting up/either of us dying with a young child, he agreed we needed to get legal.

He sounds like a person who means to get round to stuff, then doesn't. So if he goes along with you taking charge, good on you for taking the bull by the horns. I do wonder if it will equally turn out that he never gets around to the proposal - maybe on the holiday? He just needed a nudge hopefully, you know him best. I know quite a few people who have been together for years, had DC's, then finally tied the knot. Happens, but can be a risky move.