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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I had enough of waiting 💍

65 replies

Younganddumb · 27/01/2023 17:07

So just wanted others opinion on this 😂🙈 I've been with my partner for six years, we have two children together and I've had many chats over the last few years with him about wanting a ring on my finger and marriage in the very near future.. he kept saying he was going to do it but the time never came, I finally got to breaking point about a week ago and said that I'm booking a registry office wedding for August (he did agree to this btw).. I went ahead and booked it and sent him a link to the ring that I wanted 😂🙈 It turned up today and he let me try it on (not a proposal, just making sure it fit). Do you guys think that was silly or genius? 😂

OP posts:
Slimjimtobe · 27/01/2023 17:49

Good for you and congratulations

if you want me to be honest I didn’t propose but I went out with a man for 7 years and nothing happened (we didn’t love together but he stayed at mine 4 nights a week)

next time around when I met dh - we got engaged 18months later and five 5 months after that (big church wedding )

I honestly don’t understand if you live together and have kids - what’s the difference ??? You are acting married

Slimjimtobe · 27/01/2023 17:50

Live (though looking back there wasn’t true love either 😂)

WeDoNotTalktoPennilynLott · 27/01/2023 17:50

I know somebody that has picked the date, booked the church and bought her dress and her partner hasn't even proposed yet...

Crucible · 27/01/2023 17:54

Show us the ring!

Emmamoo89 · 27/01/2023 17:55

Genius. Congratulations 🥰

winelove · 27/01/2023 17:59

Brilliant, good for you!

Warspite · 27/01/2023 18:00

Congratulations OP. Raising a toast to you and hubby to be. Have a lovely day.

Younganddumb · 27/01/2023 18:02

@watchingpullimgepisode6 aww, that's so sweet! Just because it comes after booking the wedding doesn't make it any less special in my eyes

OP posts:
Mylaferret · 27/01/2023 18:11

Doesn't sound like he wants to marry you, tbh.

Luredbyapomegranate · 27/01/2023 18:12

You’re engaged already though, and you did the proposing.

Congratulations

Sugargliderwombat · 27/01/2023 18:15

Haha this is amazing, sod the people looking down on the proposal. Whatever makes people happy and it'll be a great story to tell your grandkids. I hope you act surprised 😄

Inkpotlover · 27/01/2023 18:17

He just sounds like a bit of a lazy bugger who can't be bothered to organise himself, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be celebrating tonight! Congrats! Flowers

Thripp · 27/01/2023 18:17

Neither genius nor silly. The only reason to get married (and it's a massive reason) is that it gives you legal rights in the event of a separation, if you are either the lower earner or a SAHM. In the same way, you wouldn't hand over a load of money to someone selling a house without entering into a legal contract.

I would downplay the whole proposal idea and just be glad once the legal bit is over and done with. Unless you are the higher earner, in which case you are mad to get married!

Inkpotlover · 27/01/2023 18:17

WeDoNotTalktoPennilynLott · 27/01/2023 17:50

I know somebody that has picked the date, booked the church and bought her dress and her partner hasn't even proposed yet...

😳Does HE know???

Minimalme · 27/01/2023 18:19

I think I'd want the proposal from him to know if he is serious.

If he drags his feet it may be a sign that he doesn't want to wed.

Having promised in the past to propose, I'd want to know what made this different?

LimeTreeGrove · 27/01/2023 18:19

My friend did that. She booked the registry office. They are still together 20 years later

Liveandforget · 27/01/2023 18:22

Well done op, and congratulations. And who cares if the proposal is staged?! At least you know it's happening! And the wedding vows will be staged, does it make it any less meaningful?

Just by the by, I don't understand this waiting for a proposal thing. Surely for such a massive life changing decision that has legal ramifications, a couple should discuss and get engaged? I come from a different culture and an engagement happens after discussions and is considered to be a joint decision. After that there is usually a party and the couple are considered engaged.

You've done the right thing op, I bet loads of women reading this who are still waiting for a proposal will be inspired! I hope so anyway.

Minimalme · 27/01/2023 18:25

It's not that she proposed to him, the point here is that she has been asking him to propose for six years and they have two kids together.

He has agreed in the past to propose and just didn't.

And now he has agreed to marry her and told her he will propose.

I would be waiting to see if he is actually as good as his word this time.

GriddleScone · 27/01/2023 18:29

Off topic, but I liked the ring you put on the thread title. I completely understood the context without having to open or read further 👏

mrsbyers · 27/01/2023 18:36

We just went to get ring and I put it on and we went for a pint

mind my proposal was ‘this band is shit should we get married then’ but he had been asking for a while

Younganddumb · 27/01/2023 18:47

Thanks for the lovely comments 👀 not so thankful for the not so lovely comments but hey.. my fault for putting the post up 😂 I'll take whatever comes! I'm just very happy to know that I'll soon be married to the love of my life and as a bonus will also share the same last name as my children! 🥂 it will certainly be a funny story to tell our future grandchildren 💕

OP posts:
Younganddumb · 27/01/2023 18:47

@mrsbyers that's hilarious! 😂 love it!

OP posts:
1smallhamsterfoot · 27/01/2023 18:50

Why don’t you just propose to him???

inky1991 · 27/01/2023 18:51

I mean it's great if you got what you wanted, but personally I'd always be unhappy about how it happened.

Your partner sounds ridiculously apathetic about marriage and not romantic in the slightest - why couldn't he have done any of this himself if he knew how much it meant to you? Getting the ring himself as a surprise is a bare minimum requirement IMO.

That's just me though, if you're happy then that's the main thing!

Deathbyfluffy · 27/01/2023 18:57

Thripp · 27/01/2023 18:17

Neither genius nor silly. The only reason to get married (and it's a massive reason) is that it gives you legal rights in the event of a separation, if you are either the lower earner or a SAHM. In the same way, you wouldn't hand over a load of money to someone selling a house without entering into a legal contract.

I would downplay the whole proposal idea and just be glad once the legal bit is over and done with. Unless you are the higher earner, in which case you are mad to get married!

An impressive blend of pessimism and negativity!
There’s more to getting married than money - I earn more than my wife, but still wanted to marry her.