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Original poster

What's does that even mean?

39 replies

Fitzroygurl10087 · 26/01/2023 12:24

If you ask a guy you are dating how he feels about you and he says 'I'm in this for duration', what do you think that means? My 6 month relationship said this to me and I'm interested in others thoughts.

OP posts:
ivegotthisyeah · 26/01/2023 12:26

Worded weirdly but I would take that for in it long time?

Vanillalime · 26/01/2023 12:27

He really likes you & is saying he wants to commit long term.

AutisticLegoLover · 26/01/2023 12:27

Does his name begin with D and does he have ED? Sounds familiar that phrase.

Dacadactyl · 26/01/2023 12:28

It would entirely depend on his age and dating history.

You can't take anything from words, it's his actions and past I'd be looking at.

Funkypickle · 26/01/2023 12:29

Depends how old he is I guess. To me that means he's in it until it's run it's course. Almost like there's an expiry date.

I had that said to mean and it wasn't good news in the end. So I may be speaking from bitter experience.

May be press gently for more of an explanation.

KangarooKenny · 26/01/2023 12:29

I think that he wants you to think it’s a long term thing so he can continue to get regular sex.
Either that or he should have proposed.

OldFan · 26/01/2023 12:30

I would say he means he intends that this is permanent. Smile

OldFan · 26/01/2023 12:33

It is quite a wordy way of putting things which does make it sound a bit insincere IDK. I don't think you can really go by people's words @Fitzroygurl10087 .

You could ask him what he meant by it to try and get more of an idea.

Funkypickle · 26/01/2023 12:38

@AutisticLegoLover the one I have in mind had ED and premature ejaculation but name started with a C

Sad that it's been said more than once without any clear indication of what they actually mean.

Chamomileteaplease · 26/01/2023 12:41

Did he miss out the word the? ie in it for the duration? Because to me the sentence doesn't make sense.

They used to talk about the war using that term😨.

Personally I would say he is trying to get out of giving you an answer. Because he is basically saying I am in this relationship for as long as it lasts. Which anyone is!

RenoDakota · 26/01/2023 12:41

He likes you and wants you to know he is taking the relationship seriously.

amberedover · 26/01/2023 12:45

Depends on so many things - you'll have to ask him I think .Sometimes people use a word in a way it's not normally used or because they think it means something slightly different from how it's normally used .

Riapia · 26/01/2023 12:52

Means he’ll be in it till it’s over.

Guess who he thinks will decide when it’s over?

Watchkeys · 26/01/2023 12:55

If you can't ask him, don't stay with him. Nobody wants a partner they can't say 'Can you explain what you mean?' to. Do they?

Original poster
Fitzroygurl10087 · 26/01/2023 14:54

@AutisticLegoLover GrinThe sex is actually really good, no complaints!

OP posts:
Original poster
Fitzroygurl10087 · 26/01/2023 14:55

@Chamomileteaplease, yes a error from me, it was 'I am in this for the duration'. It doesn't sound very romantic does it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Fitzroygurl10087 · 26/01/2023 14:58

I think I should probe a bit more. I have done that i the past and I get vague answers like 'I really enjoy our time together and want to see where it goes'. Saying that, before him a dated a guy who was full on about how madly he was into me, planning our future etc. Then he ghosted me a week after taking me out for my birthday and showering me with gifts and lovely words. Maybe it's better to have little expectations!

OP posts:
Ofcourseshecan · 26/01/2023 14:59

OldFan · 26/01/2023 12:30

I would say he means he intends that this is permanent. Smile

i agree.

Dacadactyl · 26/01/2023 14:59

No it's best to have high expectations and not lower them.

Do you mind me asking how old is he and what is his history?

ICanHideButICantRun · 26/01/2023 15:01

How could he be in it for less than the duration? Or for more than the duration?

motherofkevinnotperry · 26/01/2023 15:08

I think it means he can see a future and wants commitment but each day as it comes. It's not romantic but it's a sensible approach especially if you've both been hurt in the past

Original poster
Fitzroygurl10087 · 26/01/2023 15:24

@Dacadactyl He is early 50s, divorced for quite a few years and has a grown up child. I'm early 40s. I think he has been single since his dv

OP posts:
80s · 26/01/2023 15:32

for the duration
informal
for a very long time.
"once she sits down on that settee, she'll be there for the duration"

Whether he says this, or "forever", or "for three weeks", it's not a signed contract, is it? Even if he means it, after 6 months you can't promise anything really.

NewFriday · 26/01/2023 15:43

I think for a man in his 50s in a first relationship since his divorce, he probably means he doesn't see an end in sight, but he's also not prepared to consider it really serious - he probably sees the relationship as exclusive and important, but marriage is not on the cards iyswim.

DatingDinosaur · 26/01/2023 17:43

In that context it means until you break up (which might be tomorrow when you dump him after finding out something unforgivable about him or in 50 years time when one of you dies of old age after a long and happy marriage).

But it was an odd response to the actual question you asked though – as in, it wasn’t actually answering the question.