What's does that even mean?

[Fitzroygurl10087]

If you ask a guy you are dating how he feels about you and he says 'I'm in this for duration', what do you think that means? My 6 month relationship said this to me and I'm interested in others thoughts.

I think he likes you but is cautious about putting all his cards in the table.

Id say it’s quite positive!

Exactly.

It's a carefully constructed non-statement.

If you want to understand why he's doing that OP - ask him to explain what he meant by "the duration".

Because it doesn't mean "long term" or "til the end of time my beloved" - it means nothing unless it's qualified.

To be fair, if you badgered me about commitment just 6 months into dating, I'd probably clam up too.

Why not just relax & enjoy him for another 6 months or so before asking him if he wants to be serious/progess/cohabit/whatever you would like to ask him to commit to?

Sorry about the ghoster, & no, the answer is NOT to lower your expectations.
Better no man than wrong man ffs.

'I really enjoy our time together and want to see where it goes'.

@Fitzroygurl10087 Oh dear, not good. Sounds commitment.

*Sounds like he's a commitment phobe

If someone said this to me I’d assume they wanted to be with me long term; get married etc. It’s just a phrase and it’s a positive surely?

Thank you, it's been so helpful reading this. I don't think he is very good with emotions, but maybe I just need to chill and enjoy it. My trouble is I want it all now!

It's just words, which are cheap. And it's deliberately unclear

I don't think he is very good with emotions, but maybe I just need to chill and enjoy it. My trouble is I want it all now!

I don't think you're wrong @Fitzroygurl10087 . Keep your eyes and ears open. My ex 'F'WB said some awful things to me, and acted nastily, and all of it should've made me walk away long before I did.

It kind of means long term, but not in a very positive sounding sort of a way.

“I think it means he can see a future and wants commitment but each day as it comes. It's not romantic but it's a sensible approach especially if you've both been hurt in the past”

I think it’s this, too. After all, he probably married intending it to be forever but it wasn’t. In this context, what he does is way more important than what he says. Is he reliable? Does he do what he says he’s going to do? Does he make time to see you? Etc. Don’t get hung up on words. See what he does.

Is he Irish or of Irish descent? I'd say I'm in it for the duration if I meant I was fully committed to something long term.

My trouble is I want it all now

You want what you want. Reject people who don't give that to you.

Do you think that what you want is unreasonable?

I think it sounds pretty romantic, op ! "For the duration" normally means "for the entire time", ie forever.