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Original poster

Revenge....would you?

85 replies

cleanbreak2022 · 25/01/2023 22:44

I saw a segment on morning tv last week about revenge and whether you would exact revenge if you could.

It got me thinking, there's so many people on the forum that have suffered a great wrong, innocently going about their lives and BAM and huge deceitful betrayal is thrown at them.

So if you could, would you take revenge? I'm not suggesting violence or any such. As an example, if your ex spouse had an affair and their beloved collectible car was thrown in the matrimonial pot, would you ask for it so you could sell/scrap it? If money was your ex partners motivation, would you 'take them for all their worth'? If they had called you names like 'fat' or 'ugly' would you go all revenge body? If you had the opportunity to take all their money or a precious possession, would you?

I'm not a journo! I have many posts I'm just curious, if the opportunity arose, would you take it?

OP posts:
Fuckstix · 26/01/2023 07:58

Not revenge, I would much prefer to move on and treat those sorts of people as beneath contempt, even if it takes a long time for my feelings to catch up.

Taking all you're entitled to in a divorce settlement isn't massively revenge though in my view.

MorrisZapp · 26/01/2023 08:02

In my young day if I felt used by a guy I would nick something from his house. I always felt better knowing I had taken from him like he'd taken from me. Never anything of value, just something I liked and he'd be thinking 'oh fuck I've lost my Pixies t-shirt'.

gannett · 26/01/2023 08:03

Nah. A bit of a daydream about it, sure, but when someone's wronged me that much my aim is for them to be dead to me. Taking the time and effort to concoct and execute a plan of revenge isn't in line with that.

And any decent revenge would have to have effort put into it. If you try to go for some grand act of revenge and it doesn't come off perfectly there's the risk that it'll be you who looks like the tit. And the small-scale petty stuff that they probably won't even notice, who can be arsed.

BellePeppa · 26/01/2023 08:10

AliceOlive · 26/01/2023 07:32

Im the same. Also, I do get a kick out of just ignoring people who have treated me badly. Never giving them the time of day again. Or worse, being super polite and distant. (If I have to bump into them in social situations.) You can tell it really bothers people to no longer get a reaction.

Show quote history

This is much better than revenge. Years ago I attended a social event my ex boyfriend of a couple of years happened to be at. I was blonde when we dated but had deep red hair at this event, which he absolutely loved and was begging me all evening to not leave and wait for him so we could ‘talk’. I said ok but then left without meeting him. That gave me great satisfaction without demeaning or making a fool of myself.

Notformethankyoukindly · 26/01/2023 08:21

A man did my daughter wrong. I had been very kind to him over three years. I hate him. I fantasise quite often about him turning up on my doorstep, destitute and needing help, and slamming the door in his face. I look forward to pissing on his grave. I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire though!

these fantasies are the closest I will get to taking revenge on him

re my XH, from the day he moved out I just binned his mail. That’s about it really

ManyNameChanges · 26/01/2023 08:31

I reminds me of that quote
’The opposite of love isnt hate. It’s indifference’

I like that.
It gives you a distance so that you are not bothered and hurt again by their actions (like the ex who is plastering their amazing life all over to goad you).
It puts them back into a nice little box of people that dint matter. They might hate it (but that’s their choice really). But that does even matter? They don’t matter to you.

ManyNameChanges · 26/01/2023 08:33

Taking all you're entitled to in a divorce settlement isn't massively revenge though in my view.

Taking what you are due is certainly NOT a revenge. Even though many men would feel it is.
Fleecing your ex, like some men seem to be very good at…, is another thing Imo.

AngelinaFibres · 26/01/2023 08:36

The best and only revenge is a brilliant life. Take the rage you feel about how you have been treated and use it for your own benefit.

laughingtick · 26/01/2023 09:03

I don't think revenge works and the person it is intended to will never recognise it. Look at Shakira and Pique. Shakira makes a song that gets 200 million views after a week of it being released having kept quiet for a year since the betrayal. The song tells what happened when her partner Pique cheated on her. Pique in return collaborates with Casio and Renault. The song mentions you traded a Rolex for a Casio, a Ferrari for a Renault twingo and now pique shares a selfie with the ow. He doesn't realise how small he makes himself look against a powerful woman like Shakira in my opinion anyway. My advice would be even to Shakira, lucky escape and the best revenge is to live your life. There's a swipe at Shakira's mil in the song where piques mum moved next door to her whilst Pique having a jolly. Now a video is circulating on sm at a fashion show with piques mum having a go at Shakira pointing at Shakira at close proximity and holding her mouth intimidating and abusing her while Pique standing there doing nothing when his partner is being abused. In my experience these types of people just existing is the worst enemies to themselves and let them work for themselves to self destruct without you having to lift a finger other than living your best life and not giving them a headspace.

Aposterhasnoname · 26/01/2023 09:26

Not revenge as such, just the way things worked out. I had an ex who worked away during the week. He had a big hotshot job for one of the big four. He’d drop his dog off with me to look after on Monday morning before heading off to the airport., then return Friday night, and spend most of the weekend with me.

He came back one Friday, collected the dog and ditched me on the spot. Told me I was fat and ugly and he had met “lots of other women” who he preferred. I spent the whole weekend sobbing my heart out.

On Monday morning he turned up with the dog expecting me to look after her. To be clear, this was very definitely his dog that he’d got with his ex wife, nothing to do with me at all. I’d agreed to help him look after her when he was offered the flashy job. He couldn’t believe I wouldn’t stay home all week with his dog while he was off around the world, eating in fancy restaurants on expenses with “lots of other women” Long story short, his ex wife wouldn’t help either, so he had to quit the flashy job in the end and take a local role so he could look after her.

FUEWC · 26/01/2023 09:30

I try to tell myself that living well is the best revenge.

But sometimes I can’t help dreaming 😁 from mega revenge like finding a way to shop them to HMRC to stupid revenge like posting a glitter bomb.

beguilingeyes · 26/01/2023 09:36

I've always wanted to do the things I've read about like putting prawns inside someone's curtain poles so that there's a terrible smell they can't identify.
But I've never found anyone to use it on and it's a bit Agatha Christie.

OriginalUsername2 · 26/01/2023 09:36

The best revenge is forgetting all about them and doing very well for yourself IMO.

MrsMikeDrop · 26/01/2023 09:37

At the time yes, this thread has made me realise I get over stuff and don't hold a grudge (I thought I did!)

Puffin87 · 26/01/2023 09:37

No, I'm agnostic but I'd worry about karma. Becoming indifferent is the best revenge. I know I'd also feel guilty if I did anything.

ABrotherWhoLooksLikeHellMugYou · 26/01/2023 09:58

Moving on as fast and as far as I can so that I didn't require him in any way. I got good employment, did exercise, rediscovered hobbies, found new love and moved house and he is an annoying nuisance to me now and I only have to deal with him because of the children. I still mutter about stuffing prawns in his car radiator grill but that's more of a frustration release after he's been a bell end again. Mostly I just see him dripping around and realise that my best revenge is not having to live with his miserable face any more whilst he and his OW have to deal with it every day.

It's her kids I feel sorry for. Not sure why they got the bad karma of having to put up with his dreary self.

And like others have said, I need to live with myself and I like knowing I'm a good person who does the right things and rises above. Go me.

Original poster
cleanbreak2022 · 26/01/2023 10:04

@Fuckstix I agree with you, but where is the line between moral entitlement or legal? My ex and I were never married so didn't have to endure the divorce process. In the early days of guilt from the cheater, where the make all sorts of claims 'keep the house, the cars' and a document existed they could sign there and then, would you take it?

OP posts:
Original poster
cleanbreak2022 · 26/01/2023 10:04

@MorrisZapp not done to an ex but I have hidden the remote control and thrown the batteries away!

OP posts:
Unicorn2022 · 26/01/2023 10:06

Not with exes as I've never had an issue there, but I dream of getting revenge on people like my PIL's old neighbour who intentionally made their lives a misery and I'm sure MIL died too soon as a result.

The main thing that ever stops me taking revenge is that anything done anonymously is always traceable back in the end and I don't want to live life looking over my shoulder. I also wouldn't do anything where the other person would obviously know it's me, as if they were nasty enough in the first place for me to want revenge, I would hate to think what they would do if scorned.

Puffin87 · 26/01/2023 10:11
  • The ex who cheated on me with multiple women and generally treated me badly throughout my teens and 20s has spent the past few years chasing after me and apologising. I'm genuinely fully indifferent to him nowadays. On some level, it's nice the tables have turned.
NewTabulaRasa · 26/01/2023 10:17

Man here.

When I was a poor student, my girlfriend and I broke up. We'd had a very good sex life and it was important to her. Her next boyfriend was known to me, and peed me off because he had money and a sports car. I learned he had problems in the bedroom -in his 20s but impotent -and that made me feel better.

Another story. Many years later my fiancee had an affair and left me for him. He had been her former boyfriend from her late teens and now a doctor with money and status. It turned out he was severely mentally ill, and bounced between her and his wife. The new man eventually left his wife but my ex couldn't cope with his behaviour and left him for yet another doctor. I became friends with the new man's wife -we talked about she and I having a revenge affair but it didn't happen!

Original poster
cleanbreak2022 · 26/01/2023 10:23

@NewTabulaRasa ha! There's always been a saying about the men with flash cars! That's probably karma and must have raised a smirk to your face

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 26/01/2023 10:24

Yes

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 26/01/2023 10:51

Wasn't it Michelle Obama who said "when they go low, we go high?" I paraphrase. My ex husband was horrible to my children and to me. Lots of DARVO. I never responded. My son stopped contact as soon as his dad started his nasty letters to them both. My daughter invited her dad to her wedding but as a guest, not to give her away. Her brother had been the main male role model in her life. My revenge was looking amazing, and having a fabulous day and evening. Now I rarely think about him at all. I don't wish him ill or well. He's nothing to me.

Peach2021 · 26/01/2023 11:03

Same here @Haruka , exactly the same. It's frustrating not being able to tell people about his behaviour, but my kids MH and my sanity for the next X years depend on him playing nicely...someone will work it out eventually I guess, in the meanwhile I'm just trying to get on and make a better life for me and DC.