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Original poster

Revenge....would you?

85 replies

cleanbreak2022 · 25/01/2023 22:44

I saw a segment on morning tv last week about revenge and whether you would exact revenge if you could.

It got me thinking, there's so many people on the forum that have suffered a great wrong, innocently going about their lives and BAM and huge deceitful betrayal is thrown at them.

So if you could, would you take revenge? I'm not suggesting violence or any such. As an example, if your ex spouse had an affair and their beloved collectible car was thrown in the matrimonial pot, would you ask for it so you could sell/scrap it? If money was your ex partners motivation, would you 'take them for all their worth'? If they had called you names like 'fat' or 'ugly' would you go all revenge body? If you had the opportunity to take all their money or a precious possession, would you?

I'm not a journo! I have many posts I'm just curious, if the opportunity arose, would you take it?

OP posts:
LoekMa · 26/01/2023 05:56

Never understand the whole Revenge Body thing tbh. I mean usually you look at the "Before-Pics" and yeah sometimes you see why the Partner got the ick. Soo I ask myself, why would anyone consider getting healthy, as "getting revenge" ?

I doubt the guy/lady would be lured back in anyways, they know first-hand how quickly you would balloon back to the old weight.

Weird.

Zanatdy · 26/01/2023 06:10

My ex hurt me so badly 12yrs ago, through hurting my eldest child deliberately to get at me (I left him of course). My revenge has been a long time coming but I’ve met someone I really like and even after all these years (which I’ve been single for as no time to date when kids were young but no family nearby and he worked overseas) it’s absolutely killing him. That’s the best revenge, being happy and with someone who wouldn’t dream of using a child to get to me. I think revenge is petty no matter how tempting and best revenge is just being happy as others have said, and living your absolute best life

Blip · 26/01/2023 06:27

I wish karma was a thing but I don't think it is. I'd be happy to give it a helping hand as there are some real rotters out there for sure.

Blip · 26/01/2023 06:29

Not for exes especially more for people who exploit others.

supercali77 · 26/01/2023 06:32

@Haruka Ugh god I hear you on that

DarkNecessities · 26/01/2023 06:37

I have used intimidation and made sure my ‘presence’ is a reminder I could implode their life at any given time.

The revenge has been in small ways which has made me feel better, but in ways they wouldn’t particularly be aware of.

HappyFannyPetrow · 26/01/2023 06:41

postitpatty · Yesterday 23:05
God who can be arsed. The best revenge is to move on and have a better life then just smile and wave!

definitely this

PotatoFacedWombat · 26/01/2023 06:44

I was sorely tempted when DP (now ex) cheated with my best mate. I was so so hurt by the both of them. I decided that revenge was a dish best served cold and that I'd wait until I could think of something really ingenious.

But then I stopped caring as much, and even kind of pitied them for being that fucked up that they'd done something so stupid. He's alone now, she's still in her unhappy marriage with a man who now feels he can shag anything because she has form, so really, they gained nothing. I must admit though, I was pleased and smug when he got in touch 2 years after I left him to declare his undying love and devotion. I never replied to his email. I've moved on. I hope he's happy now, but I'm very very glad not to have the anxiety of being with a man who will always be keeping one eye open for a bit on the side.

Toooldtoworry · 26/01/2023 06:48

Revenge involves too much energy and anger.

As it happens karma has been vengeful on my behalf and my exes have reaped the seeds they sowed.

Buildingthefuture · 26/01/2023 07:00

Can’t be arsed with revenge….the best revenge is to live well and be happy. I think I’m in the minority though, in that I do think that people who do horrible things do pay a price. However much they might pretend they are happy, however much they might compartmentalise or justify what they’ve done, when they wake up in the dead of the night they KNOW they are an awful person. Imagine waking up and KNOWING you have shit all over people? They might never show it, but in their soul, they know and that must be horrific. I have met an awful lot of people who have done awful things and not a single one of them has been truly happy. That removes any need for revenge I might feel and makes me feel sorry for them instead….

Jaxinthebox · 26/01/2023 07:18

I have thought about it years ago after the hurt and betrayal after 25 years but actually my life is better now. I don't have the energy to take revenge. I just can't be arsed, he doesn't figure in my day to day life... and yes he still tries to control things from afar. I just ignore everything. That is the best revenge.

I live my best life with my new husband, we are happy and that is the best revenge. Loving life, living life and happiness.

BellePeppa · 26/01/2023 07:19

I always feel the satisfaction would be very short lived. 5 minutes of a high followed by a lifetime of regret and cringing at basically making a fool of yourself.

Pleiades2020 · 26/01/2023 07:20

No - revenge leads to more revenge and heals nothing. The person you'd hurt the most in the long run is yourself. You just have to let things go and move on with life.

watchfulwishes · 26/01/2023 07:21

I read somewhere that 'bitterness is like taking poison yourself and hoping the other person will die' so I would try to focus on making my own life positive.

LilLilLi · 26/01/2023 07:30

My ex fucked me over badly, he cheated with multiple women and after 4 years went to work one day, text me that it was over and blocked me everywhere. Days later he was in a relationship with someone else. I later found out he had done the same to his ex, the mother of his kids, and has form for just being a horrible person. I lost 3 stone in weight, couldn’t sleep, I was a complete mess and spent a long time dreaming about revenge.

I never did anything but a year on, he’s lost his job, is in rent arrears and at real risk of being kicked out and was arrested two weeks ago for drink driving so will lose his license shortly too. He has begged and begged to come back and been turned down every time. I take no pleasure now in seeing what a mess his life is, I just pity him.

I truly believe that everything catches up with you in the end. He’s a selfish, manipulative arsehole and you don’t get to treat people like shit and live a beautiful life.

AliceOlive · 26/01/2023 07:32

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 26/01/2023 05:47

I wouldn't go as far as revenge but I do enjoy a bit of Schadenfreude when someone has behaved badly.

Im the same. Also, I do get a kick out of just ignoring people who have treated me badly. Never giving them the time of day again. Or worse, being super polite and distant. (If I have to bump into them in social situations.) You can tell it really bothers people to no longer get a reaction.

2Old2BABPpresenter · 26/01/2023 07:32

Having packed an entire FMH on my own after splitting from my ex with zero help even with our DCs items it was inevitable that I would end up with some of his stuff. He was packing his half of the kitchen stuff at gone midnight. Left us to take apart all of the DCs furniture etc etc so when I found some of his clothes in my new house in boxes they went to the top and I denied any knowledge of seeing them! Other than that living my best life is the best revenge (I did lose 2.5 stone also though!) :) oh and it was his infidelity and me being used as a maid that ended the marriage.

2Old2BABPpresenter · 26/01/2023 07:33

AliceOlive · 26/01/2023 07:32

Im the same. Also, I do get a kick out of just ignoring people who have treated me badly. Never giving them the time of day again. Or worse, being super polite and distant. (If I have to bump into them in social situations.) You can tell it really bothers people to no longer get a reaction.

Show quote history

Ignoring people is my preferred method, I’ll be polite but if I don’t have to have anything to do with them I’ll totally ignore. They’re dead to me.

AliceOlive · 26/01/2023 07:36

LoekMa · 26/01/2023 05:56

Never understand the whole Revenge Body thing tbh. I mean usually you look at the "Before-Pics" and yeah sometimes you see why the Partner got the ick. Soo I ask myself, why would anyone consider getting healthy, as "getting revenge" ?

I doubt the guy/lady would be lured back in anyways, they know first-hand how quickly you would balloon back to the old weight.

Weird.

I think if someone looks better after a relationship it’s because they were miserable with the person. It’s not purposeful revenge. But exes will absolutely notice and have feelings about it.

AliceOlive · 26/01/2023 07:39

Buildingthefuture · 26/01/2023 07:00

Can’t be arsed with revenge….the best revenge is to live well and be happy. I think I’m in the minority though, in that I do think that people who do horrible things do pay a price. However much they might pretend they are happy, however much they might compartmentalise or justify what they’ve done, when they wake up in the dead of the night they KNOW they are an awful person. Imagine waking up and KNOWING you have shit all over people? They might never show it, but in their soul, they know and that must be horrific. I have met an awful lot of people who have done awful things and not a single one of them has been truly happy. That removes any need for revenge I might feel and makes me feel sorry for them instead….

I agree with this completely.

Some people do grow and change, too.

LoekMa · 26/01/2023 07:44

AliceOlive · 26/01/2023 07:36

I think if someone looks better after a relationship it’s because they were miserable with the person. It’s not purposeful revenge. But exes will absolutely notice and have feelings about it.

Show quote history

Genuinely doubt that tbh. We can agree to disagree. I couldn't be arsed how any of my exes look after I left them, onwards and upwards has always been the mantra

TheLastDreamOfTheOak · 26/01/2023 07:46

I had the chance to take revenge on someone who did me a huge and devastating wrong. She had done something terrible at her work which would have got her Instantly fired (it related to my DD's medical records-and I was absolutely livid so even more surprising that I didn't act on it). I was sorely tempted but I figured it was better to be the bigger person. If that had happened a few years earlier however when less time had passed I definitely would have.

I still don't think I'd go out of my way to throw her a rope if I saw her drowning in the canal though tbh.

Original poster
cleanbreak2022 · 26/01/2023 07:49

I love your philosophy @Buildingthefuture I never thought of that. In the dead of the night, when there's no noise or distractions but thoughts running through your head, you have to self reflect. If you've been a total scumbag of a human, it must creep into your though. There must be something that creeps in you don't want there. That must be gruelling

OP posts:
Pumpupthejampumpitup · 26/01/2023 07:52

Oh gawd have I dreamt up thoughts of revenge on the ex…. However, I’m learning to be patient and let Karma do it’s thing.
What comes round goes round…

Buildingthefuture · 26/01/2023 07:52

@AliceOlive agree completely that people can change, although that is not a popular opinion here on MN! But, if you can look in the mirror, truly face the shitty things you’ve done and work out WHY you’ve done them, then yes, you can change. It’s bloody hard work, most people will avoid the reality of who they truly are, but it can and does happen.