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Relationships
Just how do people move on
Viviennemary · 24/01/2023 23:50
How do people move on when a long term relationship ends. I know there are some happy stories but there are people who just never get over their relationship ending. Is it just a matter of willpower.
Shivermytimber · 25/01/2023 10:57
It takes time. I ploughed myself into my other roles as a Mother and in my job, I even met someone else within the first 6 months. However, on reflection I think it took nearly 4 years before I had well and truly dealt with the trauma of the end of my 18 year relationship.
We are emotional loving beings and there is no quick fix to dealing with those emotions, it simply takes as long as it takes, different for us all.
Snowybeach · 25/01/2023 10:57
I think it depends how it ended and how you feel about it.
If it was sudden and you were still in love, you might be devastated. If you were pregnant and your husband was cheating, that would be horrendous. It might take you a long time get over the shock.
With my exh, we struggled for a couple of years and we were both unhappy by the time we split and also it was a mutual decision.
thisismynewface · 25/01/2023 10:59
I'm struggling to get over a casual relationship I had last year.
I know it's because I'm very lonely since lockdown ended, and I do feel that I'm unlikely to ever be in a 'real relationship or to be in love with someone who loves me.
He actually had a few women on the go, so he won't be feeling any sorrow from not seeing me, we just had completely different needs and wants.
He was dragging me down and I'm really really glad I ended it, but because I haven't rushed out to replace him with another low-value situation I'm the one left feeling bereft.
80s · 25/01/2023 11:02
I was ready to have fun again, including dating, 20 months after the end of my 20-year relationship. But even years later, some things are still unpleasant: visiting the kids in my old house, for instance; it feels so familiar but it's no longer mine. There are different aspects to it.
Viviennemary · 25/01/2023 20:35
I know the memories lf what you did together and places you went to. They are hard to deal with. When a partner leaves when the woman is pregnant that must be dreadful. Then moving on and having a new family Awful.,
thethreemuskateers · 25/01/2023 21:11
I think my ex thinks because I haven’t met anyone else in the 21 months since we split that I haven’t moved on.
We we’re together almost 19 years and my boys are both are tricky ages 17 and 4. I’ve had interest but I’m very picky.
I’ve concentrated on my boys and rebuilding my life. He’s now living with the other woman and her 2 kids.
category12 · 25/01/2023 21:37
Viviennemary · 25/01/2023 10:34
I did mean moving on with regards to feelings rather than a new partner. WitIthout dwelling on the past all the time. And feelings of resentment, anger, regret. Or even worry that if things had been different it could have worked.
I do agree that some people would rather have somebody not that suitable than be on their own. While others would rather not get involved with anyone again.
I would say I've moved on emotionally in many ways.
I rarely think about my ex-husband, apart from when he's picking up the dc or something.
I do sometimes think back and feel angry about what he put me through or resent that he isn't a better dad to our kids, who deserve so much better than him. But it's not something I spend a lot of energy or time on, and I'm mostly indifferent to him. I know I tried my best to make it work with him to my own detriment for too long, if anything I wish I'd tried less hard 😂
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