OMG ! I think I find women attactive suddenly!

blossomandwonder · 2023-01-24T14:55:52+00:00

Have NC for this as in other posts, I moaned about my ex husband. I've spent several years swiping left and right on dating apps and am pretty miffed that there really are zero men my age (51) who look attractive or appealing in anyway. So.... last night I flicked onto 'women' and I was astounded by how many women I found myself attracted to. This has never happened before !!! Shall I just go for it??

Original poster

blossomandwonder · 24/01/2023 14:56

Excuse typos !

OP posts:

JamSandle · 24/01/2023 14:56

Yes, why not? Sounds exciting!

Palmfrond · 24/01/2023 14:58

Totally go for it.

Supernova23 · 24/01/2023 15:16

From a biological perspective, when a woman is 50+ she's not going to have more (or any) children, she's either pre-menopausal or in menopause, and has no need for a man from that perspective. A lot of women pursue relationships with other women, even if they previously identified as straight. Go for it. I'm considering it myself as most men I've got with or are online dating are absolute losers. At least women 'get' women, unlike most men.

Withazjump · 24/01/2023 15:47

Yes go for it and report back here!

Emmamoo89 · 24/01/2023 15:53

Go for it x

Notaboutthebass · 24/01/2023 16:09

Go for it! Be careful though, I think women get frustrated if they get hit on bi curious women. Maybe state that you don't know what you're looking for at the moment.

Dramaalpacas · 24/01/2023 16:13

Hmm… I don’t think I’d like to turn up to a date and find out I was some kind of experiment to see if you were actually attracted to women. Imagine dating a gay man who was just trying out women.. seems a bit ick. As long as you’re open about it then it would be ok.

Xrays · 24/01/2023 16:16

I think as long as you’re completely open with them about where you are with it all then go for it!

LlynTegid · 24/01/2023 16:17

You will not be the first person who having had relationships with the opposite sex to have a same-sex attraction after many years. Nor the last.

I hope anyone you choose to meet will be respectful of it becoming your possible first same sex relationship.

TrishM80 · 24/01/2023 16:21

Supernova23 · 24/01/2023 15:16

From a biological perspective, when a woman is 50+ she's not going to have more (or any) children, she's either pre-menopausal or in menopause, and has no need for a man from that perspective. A lot of women pursue relationships with other women, even if they previously identified as straight. Go for it. I'm considering it myself as most men I've got with or are online dating are absolute losers. At least women 'get' women, unlike most men.

So previously straight women turn lesbian after 50 once they can't have children anymore? Wow, did not know that.

Supernova23 · 24/01/2023 16:36

TrishM80 · 24/01/2023 16:21

So previously straight women turn lesbian after 50 once they can't have children anymore? Wow, did not know that.

Show quote history

Not sure if this is sarcastic or what, but yes. Not all straight women, obviously. But lots experiment. Go and do your own research if you don't believe me.

Jomummy1013 · 24/01/2023 16:38

@Supernova23 I don't think that @TrishM80 was being sarcastic. I also have not heard of this. OP I think go for it! What have you got to lose x

Watchkeys · 24/01/2023 17:48

I think that if you're attracted to someone, you should date them. You don't owe them a definition of what you are or where you're 'coming from', or your previous experience, either. Imagine if that was the other way around: 'Sure, date guys, but make sure you tell them they're your first, otherwise how might they feel..?'

What tosh.

Go out and get to know people. Let them ask you questions, and answer the ones you're comfortable with. Things will go further in a natural way with the right person.

I think women get frustrated if they get hit on bi curious women

Yes, and that'll be a way of knowing that they're not someone to stick with.

I don’t think I’d like to turn up to a date and find out I was some kind of experiment to see if you were actually attracted to women

So your dates have to take care of this aspect of you before they know you, by divulging their sexual history?

I think as long as you’re completely open with them about where you are with it all then go for it

In what world is it advisable for someone to be completely open about their sexual history with everyone they date?

Can't believe some of the advice here.

josuk · 24/01/2023 18:09

I think before going on dates with women - and potentially misleading them, or wasting their (and your) time - there are ways to figure out what this attraction means. If it’s real, or a fantasy.

Go to some lesbian clubs? Kiss a girl, etc.
If you are more adventurous - and close to a big city - get on Killing Kittens - they run events for bi-curios women.
Also - go on Sex board on MN - a while ago there were a few women who were feeling similar and I think they went off and formed a private chat somewhere. I can’t remember details - but if you search on it - or put a new thread up - you’ll find it.

Good luck!

Moser85 · 24/01/2023 18:23

Watchkeys · 24/01/2023 17:48

I think that if you're attracted to someone, you should date them. You don't owe them a definition of what you are or where you're 'coming from', or your previous experience, either. Imagine if that was the other way around: 'Sure, date guys, but make sure you tell them they're your first, otherwise how might they feel..?'

What tosh.

Go out and get to know people. Let them ask you questions, and answer the ones you're comfortable with. Things will go further in a natural way with the right person.

I think women get frustrated if they get hit on bi curious women

Yes, and that'll be a way of knowing that they're not someone to stick with.

I don’t think I’d like to turn up to a date and find out I was some kind of experiment to see if you were actually attracted to women

So your dates have to take care of this aspect of you before they know you, by divulging their sexual history?

I think as long as you’re completely open with them about where you are with it all then go for it

In what world is it advisable for someone to be completely open about their sexual history with everyone they date?

Can't believe some of the advice here.

Oh come on.
The advice being given is completely normal and fair advice.

In what world is it advisable for someone to be completely open about their sexual history with everyone they date?

All she has to say is that it's her first time dating a woman, she doesn't have to divulge her entire sexual history in detail.
As for what world? This world!!

Imagine if that was the other way around: 'Sure, date guys, but make sure you tell them they're your first, otherwise how might they feel..?'

If it was the other way around then people would say the same.

chococherrychoochoo · 24/01/2023 19:43

I'm unclear whether you wanted to see the competition on the dating app or whether you switched to women looking for women?

debbs77 · 24/01/2023 20:01

Totally go for it! Maybe just put in your bio that you're curious and open minded

litlealligator · 24/01/2023 20:06

I think it's fine, isn't that what dating is for? You might just as easily see a picture of a guy, think he's attractive, but turn up and have zero chemistry or attraction in person. You're not messing him around if that's the case, you both just move on.

FinallyHere · 24/01/2023 20:12

Still married, so I would be looking for any new sexual relationship.

I'm always open to new friendships and have been surprised and delighted now in my diaries, to find new women friends who enrich my life so much

I have got to know some men but find that they require a lot more encouragement to chat and share things. They tend to be all round much higher maintenance.

I'd would absolutely encourage you to make new women friends and see where it goes.

ICanHideButICantRun · 24/01/2023 21:06

Yeah but show a bit of respect! Lesbians are not there for straight women to experiment on.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 24/01/2023 21:12

Go for it 🤷‍♀️
I'm bisexual and even I'm surprised at the amount of women who hit their mid 40s and get very curious.

Hensintheskirting · 24/01/2023 21:15

How do lesbians find out they're lesbians if they don't experiment with women?

TrishM80 · 24/01/2023 23:19

Hensintheskirting · 24/01/2023 21:15

How do lesbians find out they're lesbians if they don't experiment with women?

It's interesting. Gay men seem to know they're gay from a very young age, early teens. But previously straight women experiment in their 50s and suddenly decide they're lesbian! I'm not convinced!

Watchkeys · 25/01/2023 00:16

litlealligator · 24/01/2023 20:06

I think it's fine, isn't that what dating is for? You might just as easily see a picture of a guy, think he's attractive, but turn up and have zero chemistry or attraction in person. You're not messing him around if that's the case, you both just move on.

Yup. There's a few defensive lesbians on the thread, I see.

OP, date who you like. Nothing is required of you. You're dating for you, not to ensure you meet someone else's needs. If you want to take it further, you take it further. You don't owe an explanation of yourself or where you're at to anybody. Give it to them when you feel you want to, not when you feel you 'should', according to a MN thread.