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Original poster

Age gap

26 replies

HelloOhHell · 22/01/2023 13:37

I’m 37, fancy a guy who is 32. Is this too large an age gap?

we work together, we chat and go out (as colleagues and with other colleagues) all the time but recently it’s been a bit, well, different. We are both definitely making eyes at each other.

im physically and mentally attracted to him. I cannot confirm that he is, but I think he is?

I’ve thought a lot about could we be together, even if it’s just a bit of fun for now (so relaxed so to speak) and see where it goes? idk if this is too much of an age gap?? I really don’t want to make my self look silly. Thoughts? Questions? Help!!

OP posts:
LaLuz7 · 22/01/2023 13:43

Definitely not. You're both adults. You're in the same stage of life and a 5 year gap at this age doesn't mean much at all.

Age gaps are problematic when they mean someone has considerably more life experience and could hold power over the other. For example when one is a financially independent adult and the other is barely out of high-school, still living at home.

mintbiscuit · 22/01/2023 13:46

Not at all. Go and jump his bones

Original poster
HelloOhHell · 22/01/2023 13:55

LaLuz7 · 22/01/2023 13:43

Definitely not. You're both adults. You're in the same stage of life and a 5 year gap at this age doesn't mean much at all.

Age gaps are problematic when they mean someone has considerably more life experience and could hold power over the other. For example when one is a financially independent adult and the other is barely out of high-school, still living at home.

Ah thank you! This is a really nice response as I’ve been so all over the place. I’m going to see him tomorrow and I’m feeling all giddy and excited, which I love, but then I think of the gap and feel like a bit of an “old” fool.

for the record, I don’t feel “old” and apparently don’t look my age but I guess it’s that societal thing, right??

OP posts:
Original poster
HelloOhHell · 22/01/2023 13:57

mintbiscuit · 22/01/2023 13:46

Not at all. Go and jump his bones

thank you 😂

Lols- you have no idea how hard it’s been seeing him in meetings or at group lunches and this is all that I can think about!! 😬

OP posts:
Dartmoorcheffy · 22/01/2023 13:59

I started sering dp when he was 32, and I was 44. We've been together 10 years now.

Original poster
HelloOhHell · 22/01/2023 14:01

Dartmoorcheffy · 22/01/2023 13:59

I started sering dp when he was 32, and I was 44. We've been together 10 years now.

Oh I love this for you! Thanks for sharing.

How did you meet and did you get any grief?

OP posts:
ArseInTheDogBowl · 22/01/2023 14:02

The age gap isn't an issue at all- it doesn't even count as one really to me!

But I would be very wary of dating a colleague... all kinds of issues that could happen there!

category12 · 22/01/2023 14:03

I wouldn't get involved with a work colleague. Age gap, not a problem - working together, 😬awful if it goes wrong.

Original poster
HelloOhHell · 22/01/2023 14:07

ArseInTheDogBowl · 22/01/2023 14:02

The age gap isn't an issue at all- it doesn't even count as one really to me!

But I would be very wary of dating a colleague... all kinds of issues that could happen there!

thank you & very true! Definitely something that I have considered. I’m just hoping that if we’re clear & honest from the jump we should be able to avoid any drama/politics. Right 🫤

OP posts:
Original poster
HelloOhHell · 22/01/2023 14:10

category12 · 22/01/2023 14:03

I wouldn't get involved with a work colleague. Age gap, not a problem - working together, 😬awful if it goes wrong.

Thank you! Yes you are def correct! I will tread carefully. In addition to my comment above, the job I do is pretty easy to move about in (borough to borough for example) but the flip side of this is you can still easily “bump” into one another! 🫣

OP posts:
category12 · 22/01/2023 14:25

If you want to pursue it, I'd be inclined to transfer elsewhere if it's a goer.

Depending on your industry, it might be preferred as well.

Dery · 22/01/2023 18:30

My DH and I met at work and worked together for a good few years after getting together and I know many other people who did, too, without difficulty. So I wouldn’t rule it out on the basis that you work together - it just requires you both to behave sensibly and appropriately at work and leave personal stuff for outside work hours.

Original poster
HelloOhHell · 22/01/2023 23:02

Thank you all for your thoughts. I’ll try to keep the post updated with what happens, if anyone cares 😂.

Im so excited to see him tomorrow and hope that I’ve not misinterpreted the looks and that we can say what we’re feeling out loud soon

OP posts:
Mashedpotatosandsausages · 22/01/2023 23:35

Who don’t you want to look silly to??There’s 20 years between DH & I, I never even considered “silliness” as a dating factor - just that we slowly grew a deeper and deeper connection and I fancied the bones of him. Still do. Have ignorant people gossiped about us? If they have, I couldn’t give two hoots as we are blessed to have our relationship.
The people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.

wishywashy6 · 22/01/2023 23:57

No of course not! I'm 40 and my OH has just turned 30, go for it!

Been together nearly 5 years now and we never notice the age difference.

blindfate · 23/01/2023 04:31

I'm married to a man 5 years younger than me, our ages are a total non-issue. Go for it (and report back!!). Good luck! Smile

SuffolkUnicorn · 23/01/2023 04:47

Mashedpotatosandsausages · 22/01/2023 23:35

Who don’t you want to look silly to??There’s 20 years between DH & I, I never even considered “silliness” as a dating factor - just that we slowly grew a deeper and deeper connection and I fancied the bones of him. Still do. Have ignorant people gossiped about us? If they have, I couldn’t give two hoots as we are blessed to have our relationship.
The people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.

Same 24 year age gap been together 22 years

habiller · 23/01/2023 05:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ.

DoorTable · 23/01/2023 07:11

Not much of an age gap there.
The elephant in the room is that he is a colleague.
You say you could move boroughs but why mess up your work journey and commute time? If either of you act unprofessionally colleagues will notice and even if you move, there will be gossip.

Liveafr · 23/01/2023 08:42

I'm 38 and my DP is 27. We've been together 2.5 years and really happy... Age has never been an issue in our relationship.

Tuilpmouse · 23/01/2023 12:55

DoorTable · 23/01/2023 07:11

Not much of an age gap there.
The elephant in the room is that he is a colleague.
You say you could move boroughs but why mess up your work journey and commute time? If either of you act unprofessionally colleagues will notice and even if you move, there will be gossip.

Or she could miss out on a fantastic relationship with the love of her life... If you like him, go for it! Take that risk 😀

Tuilpmouse · 23/01/2023 12:57

As in he becomes the love of her life, not that he is that at the moment, or perhaps ever will, but if we all focussed in reasons not to get together with someone, most of us would remain single!

Eastereggsboxedupready · 23/01/2023 12:58

I was 41 and dh 31 when we met. Been 10 years now and I had a dc at 43!!
Nobody bats an eye.

Indacathouse · 23/01/2023 14:56

youre pretty much the same age, that isn’t an age gap

Indacathouse · 23/01/2023 14:57

8 years between me and my husband and I wouldn’t consider this an age gap relationship

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