"It would have been better coming from a guy"

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Chatting with a friend tonight, telling me about going out recently and a woman at the concert remarking on how she liked her dress and how good she looked. My friend said the compliment would have meant more coming from a man. "Well you think what you like" was what she said when I told her I thought that was a crazy idea.

She couldn't explain why either. Anyone else had this?

Well I’d like that compliment coming from anyone, but I guess she’s entitled to her preferences. I think the response you’ve quoted at the end was ok. I’d say similar if told I’d expressed a ‘crazy idea’, if that’s actually what you said.

What do you mean by 'Anyone else had this?'

A friend with different preferences?

No, thinking that a man's opinion on how you look is worth more than a woman's.

Lots of people like to be attractive to the opposite sex though, especially if they're hetrosexual.

I wouldn't give it another thought. It's not like she's saying she hated it coming from a woman.

She just wants approval from a man, many women are like this.
Sounds like she really needs some attention.

Because she wants guys to hit on her I guess?!

By the way, unless they're gay, men really don't give a shit about your dress or your hairstyle or your handbag. If they compliment you on them it's purely a chat up line.

You’re friend isn’t in the right headspace. I think you should focus on you and your mode of thought. She can take her validation however she wants, but I’m hoping you see the error and then are able to role model a more healthy way of life.

I'd take from this comment that she has self-esteem issues and needs validation from men to feel good about herself and feel a bit sorry for her tbh.

She can't genuinely believe the average man has more clue about dress sense etc than a woman 🤣 so it must be a needing make attention thing. 😔

I agree. I think when I dress up is more for other women. Swear if I get a compliment it is amazing because they get it. I could walk round in sweats with some holes in them and men would compliment me… women are the apex of compliments!

This. Many women can’t cope without male attention. I’d be pleased that someone commented on my dress, male or female

I really don't think it's needy or uncommon for a woman to desire or enjoy a pleasant comment from a man which makes them feel attractive*

*Change man and woman to whatever sex you want.

I don't think that's true at all.
Men I have been in relationships with have commented on what I'm wearing - is that new, it suits you.
I love that colour on you.
Those shoes look great with that dress.
Funky bag.

I am glad you said that. I have never given the situation much thought before, but I came to the conclusion just now, that I would like the comment more from a woman than a man. I was wondering if I would have my self esteem analysed if I said so though. 😊

I think previous poster meant men in passing, not a male partner.

I really dont think your friend was thinking that straight men have more fashion savvy than women, this is clearly about sexual attention isnt it? she wants a man to compliment her clothing which implies sexual attraction. This makes her feel that she is desired, this makes her feel valued, this fills some kind of void within her that does not feel desired/valued. Hence the compliment means more from a man because it fulfils a need within her.

If you feel like being wanted by a man, then it would be nice to be complimented by a man.

Why all the judgment? You say you're friends. You might think a compliment has the same value whoever it comes from, she might not. Do you not respect each other enough to accept that very minor difference?

It's a bit like posting to say 'I chose a Crunchie, but my friend said I was crazy, and chose a Mars bar. Anyone experienced similar?'

Well, in fairness, I think they’re two different types of compliment, assuming the complimenter in both cases is straight. The female compliment is likely to both be about the actual outfit being nice and suiting the person wearing it etc, while the male one is likely to mean ‘I find you attractive’. Both can be nice to hear.

Isn't it like your own mum saying you look nice? I'd take it as a compliment but it doesn't mean as much as the same from a friend (probably also being nice) and neither mean as much as a random bloke (my dad also discounted here)

It would mean as much if it was the fashionable female in the office who came over to make the comment (compared to them just feeling they had to say something as in conversation with me)

Not that I particularly care about fashion but I know I compliment people to be nice a lot of the time and recognise they have made an effort.

Yes exactly.

Or in simple terms, she's more invested in looking desirable to men, than women. Therefore a man's compliment is of higher value.
I don't think it indicates a void or insecurity as standard but I don't know her.

I hold a woman's opinion of my outfits in higher regard than a man's, so I would prefer a compliment from a woman.

She prefers validation from a man, you prefer validation from a woman. Why is one of them wrong?

A lot of peoole, men and women, wrap their self-esteem and self-worth around someone finding their physical (just the looks, doesn’t go deeper than that) appearance good enough to have sex with.

Assuming she’s straight, maybe she’s really down about this.
Does she have partner - maybe he ignores her in this way. Or if she’s single, she could worry if she’s not good looking enough, like I said, most people seem to think looks are the most important and biggest thing in order to get a relationship and/or be ’loved’.

No she's not got a partner. She does like attention though. She says she wondered if the woman who told her she looks good was gay but then her husband turned up!