"It would have been better coming from a guy"

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Chatting with a friend tonight, telling me about going out recently and a woman at the concert remarking on how she liked her dress and how good she looked. My friend said the compliment would have meant more coming from a man. "Well you think what you like" was what she said when I told her I thought that was a crazy idea.

She couldn't explain why either. Anyone else had this?

This. It's about attention. She wants men to find her attractive enough to compliment.

Okey, so she clearly wants approval / partner.

How silly that she thought the other woman was a lesbian, is your friend kind of catty when it comes to other women?

She remarks on how "pretty" (or not) they are.

A compliment from a woman is worth 100 from a man. Women have no ulterior motive and better taste.

ha, I'd prefer the comment from a woman. A woman is not trying to flatter you, make you think they might be interested/assuming that you'll be pleased with their male approval.

A woman is just thinking, that look suits her/works well.

This. I’d always rather a compliment from a woman.

A compliment from a man doesn’t mean it is true. It usually just means “I would not be adverse to shagging you”.

A compliment from a woman is real.

Exactly this.

A compliment from a woman has always meant more to me whether I've been single or not.

Men are like dogs. They leap around and and shower affection on anyone they think might give them what they want.

Women are like cats. If they pay attention to you, they mean it.

I often compliment other women on their clothes, shoes, bags etc and I'm not a predatory lesbian, making a move, I'm merely acknowledging how nice they look.

On the other hand, when my male dentist told me I smelt gorgeous, it made me feel very uncomfortable, and I'm sure he was only trying to put a nervous patient at ease before wielding his drill.

@binglebangle567 no I said she's not got a partner.

I'm the opposite! I actually prefer a compliment from a woman because it feels more genuine, no hidden agenda normally.

I'm sure they did compliment you, but I can categorically state that 99.9% of straight men could not really give a shit if a woman's dress matches her shoes.

Also, a compliment from your partner is very different to a compliment from a random man you don't know.

I'm amazed that needs to be pointed out really.

True. But even in a relationship, a straight man doesn't give a shit if his partner's dress goes well with her shoes, or if her new handbag is really cute. If he says anything to this effect, absolutely guaranteed it's for brownie points.

I consider the ultimate accolade to be compliments from gay men, my fabulous gay mates particularly. You KNOW you look good that day.

I know quite a few straight men who are very into fashion/style, so I’d disagree with this.

I hope you’re joking, it’s this patronising attitude that’s upset the op friend in te first place.

This is such an odd response from her. I compliment people all the time because I genuinely think they look great, or I really like their clothing choices - both men and women. It doesnt mean I want to sleep with them lol. Its a bit sad that she thinks any random compliment from someone automatically means they want her sexually. Does she never compliment her friends then? or would she think that must mean she wants to sleep with them? So odd.

I think what women like and find attractive is not what men like and find attractive. I read a while ago someone giving Sarah Jessica Parker as an example of a woman other women find stunning but men don't.
As a heterosexual woman, I would feel more flattered and my ego boosted if a man complimented my looks HOWEVER if he is creepy I would feel 'dirtier' somehow. The effect of the compliment is greater if it came from an attractive man that I fancied.

If a woman complimented me and I know her to be sincere or if I didn't know her but it seemed genuine, then I would be pleased enough but it wouldn't make me feel sexually desirable or my ego boosted. It would be like 'aw thanks' and move on with no blushing, probably won't think about it again. But if a man I fancy complimented me I'd be thinking about it months later 😂

I wouldn't have said what your friend said, though. Some things are better kept for ourselves. Was she a bit drunk when she said this?

Really weird remark from your friend. If anything compliments from women are more meaningful (to me) as they’re more likely to be genuine. Men have been known to say whatever they think necessary to get into your knickers.

Sad and incorrect

It sounds like she wants affirmation that she looks good as opposed to just being well dressed.

Huh, most women I know think the opposite- that compliments are nicer coming from women strangers (probably because they don’t also usually come with a clumsy come-on, and they don’t usually call you a fat ugly cow if you don’t fall to your knees in gratitude).