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Original poster

Partner doesn't brush his teeth

62 replies

Scotblue · 21/01/2023 15:43

I met my partner a few years ago. We got on very well from the start. He helped me through so much. Unfortunately I have a terrible terrible issue. I think I might be falling out of love with him. He isn't brushing his teeth anymore. Not at night anyway. In the mornings sometimes he might take his toothbrush to the bathroom but it's a manual brush and I don't think he's spending a lot of time on oral hygiene. He's in and out in a matter of a minute or so.

I was sleeping with him last night and I got a whiff of his breath. It smelled like a bin filled with old period soaked products. It was awful. My sleep was disturbed and I had to get up and move to the couch. He wanted sex this morning and I had to pretend to be sick to get out from it. The same thing happened at Christmas time. I am pulling away from him.

This is awful.

Has anyone here have a partner that doesn't brush their teeth. I think it's done out of a mix of things. Laziness, tiredness and his gums bleed easily so in an effort to joy make them bleed he doesn't brush his teeth.

OP posts:
Original poster
Scotblue · 21/01/2023 19:00

DillDanding · 21/01/2023 18:20

Eww. You snog someone that doesn’t brush his teeth. Dump his skanky arse. You can’t be that desperate.

I don't snog him.

OP posts:
LaLuz7 · 21/01/2023 19:01

Scotblue · 21/01/2023 19:00

I don't snog him.

Show quote history

Uhmmm but you do have sex with him...

CharlotteRose90 · 21/01/2023 19:06

Sux217 · 21/01/2023 18:38

@CharlotteRose90
I doubt he's suffering with depression as the OP's DP seems to have a healthy enough sex drive.

You can still have a sex drive with depression you know. I know I do. It was just a thought. He might be disgusting but sometimes there’s an answer for it.

YourGazeHitsTheSideOfMyFace · 21/01/2023 19:09

You’ve identified the two issues precisely: you’re not his mum, and shouldn’t have to tell him to take basic hygiene measures; and his not doing so means he lacks respect for you.

If I was you, I would have binned him long ago. Even if your standards are very low, this must surely fall below them? If not, you need some help to work on your self esteem. You can do much better, either alone or with someone else.

LaLuz7 · 21/01/2023 19:10

@CharlotteRose90 if someone has such severe depression that they can't do basic hygiene, there would definitely be many other signs. It would be obvious to his partner.

Ocam's razor says he's just the garden variety lazy ass.

Original poster
Scotblue · 21/01/2023 19:11

LaLuz7 · 21/01/2023 19:01

Uhmmm but you do have sex with him...

Show quote history

The snogging is gone from our relationship. It might be a little peck here and there.
There sex is also fairly dead too. He has impotence and any time he does feel like sex he just wants me to be ready and willing and waiting.
I have completely turned against having sex with him now and I make excuses on having sex.

OP posts:
PousseyNotMoira · 21/01/2023 19:14

Have you told him any of this? Have you told him how much his hygiene is disgusting you? The trend with these trends is that women say nothing and trundle along for years with these disgusting men.

You say you shouldn’t have to, and I agree. However, you’re not leaving. So, is living like this genuinely preferable to direct communication? Truly?

DillDanding · 21/01/2023 19:28

How do you have sex without snogging? That sounds most odd.

Original poster
Scotblue · 21/01/2023 19:33

DillDanding · 21/01/2023 19:28

How do you have sex without snogging? That sounds most odd.

I don't have sex with him. Sex is a once a year type of thing at most due to impotence. Now, on the rare occasion that he's eager for sex, I am avoiding sex like the plaque with excuses of being sick.
There's no snogging or sex happening any more in my relationship.

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 21/01/2023 19:33

Why are you with him at all??

Hobbesmanc · 21/01/2023 19:43

All your messages are filled with contempt for him. It's obvious that it's not just his halitosis.

DillDanding · 21/01/2023 19:44

Why are you with him? He sounds repugnant. Is this what you want ahead of you, just moping along with no effort from him and no mutual attraction.

Life’s too short.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 21/01/2023 19:46

Oh not another one.........

Did anyone know about Ken Dodd's dad's dog? It died of bad oral hygiene y'know

ToBeOrNotToBee · 21/01/2023 19:48

He needs to see a hygienist as it sounds like he has an awful infection brewing.

Ask him gently when was the last time he had a check up and slyly tell him you can book one in when yours is due

ThistleSifter · 21/01/2023 20:11

I had an ex like this; he was a self-professed clean-freak and I was not, but I always brushed my teeth fastidiously whereas he … did not.

I didn’t say anything until one day he was really ripping into some perceived unhygienic thing I was doing, and I snapped and said “bit rich from someone who doesn’t even brush their teeth every day…!!!” and you could have cut the air with a knife & whilst I felt bad that he was embarrassed he did have it coming, he clamped his mouth shut and scuttled off to brush them and then always kept it up.

He was a lot older than me& I was very young, so it took a lot to confront him at the time, but was such a relief when it was sorted.

The hypocrisy made me just blurt it out very directly. (Nb. His teeth looked fine at least (Although less good now having seen a recent pic, so guess he didn’t keep it up after we split!))

From what you’re saying tho OP, it sounds like this is the final straw and that there’s a lot of other things going on in the relationship; sort if I’m misinterpreting it but you sound very unhappy with other fundamental aspects such as intimacy and affection; imo without those then it’s primarily a friendship (unless you also dislike him? In which case it’s not even that and you’d probably be better off without him).

Alexya · 21/01/2023 20:12

so the bad breath... its the least of your issues... just so you know, even as a woman... YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LEAVE A RELASHIONSHIP IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY WITH YOUR SEXLIFE, no shame about that!

piedbeauty · 21/01/2023 20:16

Just tell him! 'your breath smells. Please go and brush your teeth before I kiss you.'

TenTeo · 21/01/2023 20:23

Split, he sounds vile. If you’re not prepared to do that, buy him an electric toothbrush brush and bottle of listerine for his birthday.

CoconutQueen · 21/01/2023 20:26

Why on EARTH are you still with this man?! Please have some standards and self respect. In summary, he is disgusting.

Horticultur · 21/01/2023 20:29

But him a toothbrush, floss, a strong toothpaste and mouthwash . Tell him to brush his teeth properly twice a day or you’ll leave him. Get him some sugar free gum for after meals . You have to be blunt and honest

RudsyFarmer · 21/01/2023 20:33

He needs to go and see a hygienist, get his teeth thoroughly cleaned and then have exemplary oral hygiene after that. If he continues the way he is going his teeth will fall out.

icelolly12 · 21/01/2023 20:38

He never brushes his teeth at night and you've never mentioned it to him?

GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 21/01/2023 20:41

Scotblue · 21/01/2023 15:43

I met my partner a few years ago. We got on very well from the start. He helped me through so much. Unfortunately I have a terrible terrible issue. I think I might be falling out of love with him. He isn't brushing his teeth anymore. Not at night anyway. In the mornings sometimes he might take his toothbrush to the bathroom but it's a manual brush and I don't think he's spending a lot of time on oral hygiene. He's in and out in a matter of a minute or so.

I was sleeping with him last night and I got a whiff of his breath. It smelled like a bin filled with old period soaked products. It was awful. My sleep was disturbed and I had to get up and move to the couch. He wanted sex this morning and I had to pretend to be sick to get out from it. The same thing happened at Christmas time. I am pulling away from him.

This is awful.

Has anyone here have a partner that doesn't brush their teeth. I think it's done out of a mix of things. Laziness, tiredness and his gums bleed easily so in an effort to joy make them bleed he doesn't brush his teeth.

ex-partner 😱

babyfrenchie · 21/01/2023 21:08

What did he say when you spoke to him about it? This is a fixable problem if you take the time to have an honest conversation.

PollyAmour · 21/01/2023 21:34

He's impotent, his breath stinks, does this man have ANY redeeming features?