Age gap in relationship. Does it work

[littlerayofsunshine0]

Will an age gap with a woman who's just turning 24 and a man in his late 30s work?
Does an age gap cause issues within a relationship?

I was in a similar situation to you op. My husband had an affair with someone 13 years younger than him. We were around 40 and she was 27.

Our marriage ended when I found out and he stayed with her for a couple of years but inevitably it ended as they were at completely different life stages (he had children and had had the snip as he didn't want any more, she didn't have any), apart from working together and going out drinking they didn't actually have a great deal in common.

Obviously there wasn't another pregnancy/baby in the mix in my situation thankfully, but I would say that in your case the baby might make them more determined to make a go of it or it might bring to light any incompatibilities even more.

arethereanyleftatall · Today 12:03

It's a massive red flag to me, because it says so much about the man's character and none of it is good. I would never date a man who had ever been out with anyone over ten years younger than him. Either arrogant, entitled, selfish, controlling or all of the above.
Really? I will make sure I pass this information onto my husband (15 years older than me and almost 20 years together) who is none of the above.
OP, the age gap is really nothing concerning. Her relatively swift pregnancy and the impact this new set up will have on your existing children should be your main concern.

It is my main concern... I think its far too soon to have the kids involved but we all know I've no say in that!

I was just wondering if the age gap would cause differences between them also the fact a baby is being threw into the mix quite quickly and the impact its all going to have on the kids, but maybe the kids will be fine. It's just the emotional turmoil it's put their mum into as well.

24 years and already pregnant by a nearly 40 year old recently separated man? Well, unless your ex is minted, that woman's just gone and ruined her life. It's not her being too mature for her age and guys in their twenties, she has issues and fucked her life up by having a baby with him. What a waste of life. She could have found a nice guy 23-29 year old to start a life properly with. How low must her self esteem be to go for a guy like your ex? Is he a millionaire or something? That's the only attraction I would personally see in this dynamic.

Variable and imo depends on where the people are in their life.

I have a good friend if mine who ALWAYS had relationship with men 10~15 years older than her. They worked better than the ones with no age difference. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

My issue with the case you describe is the fact she us young, likely to mature/change outlook which might create more issues than if they were the ‘grow together’

When the baby is here, her figure is no longer like it was even if she bounces back nicely her ribs physically won't be the same, vagina not the same, stomach not the same after c-section. Her boobs won't be the same. Her face will look tired and hair fall out. She won't be the shiny new toy anymore. Plus, there will be the sleepless nights again and less sex. What a stupid move to have a baby so soon and with a man so much older 😂

Honestly, guys show off with having a younger woman but you're the one who will be having the last laugh. You'll emerge from the separation looking better and fitter, having the best sex and fun for a long time and he will be changing nappies and back to wanking because she'll be too tired to have sex... and he's getting older, he wont be able to match her libido. You're the real winner here!

Having said that, I’m not sure how you think he is in a better place than you tbh.
Your dcs atm might think he is amazing but it won’t be long until they realise their dad got another woman pg within a month of meeting her. They’ll also be aware if the age gap. From what my teen tell me, they’ll be acutely aware of that. And they’ll be judging Wo you saying a word.

The best you can do is to listen to your dcs, support THEM and ignore what he is doing. Whether this was a good idea to become a dad so quickly is his issue to deal with. I suspect things won’t be as rozy as he is making out.
Concentrate on making YOUR life the best you can and let him deal with his.

Relatively swift pregnancy?! It was under four weeks. What the hell would you consider actually swift?!

Let's see his much attention he gets from his young new GF one she has the baby.

If he wants to introduce the kids to her, let him. Most new partners aren't really interested in the kids, because it reminds them of their part in the breakdown of the family.

Let him see them more... you just have to read stepparent forums and his much these young women regret having a child with a man who already has them....especially when in this case, she didn't need to settle.

Your husband blaming your for his affair is a cheap shot. He can't accept responsibility for his bad behaviour. Good riddance.

Does he have family ? Are they aware of what's happened?

Age gaps are massive red flags to me too.

@BunchHarman you're right, I missed that bit!
I think too many posters have got caught up in the age gap and in my hurry to type I didn't see the obvious!

OP
Hope you are ok
something similar happened to me (although bigger age gap, and longer time to get pregnant, plus I was pregnant when he left!)

what you need to do is get your business head on and get a financial settlement sorted while he still feels guilty
and before the baby is born - after accommodation needs will take 3 kids not 2 into account
this is what you need to do ASAP

Husband 20 years older. Met when I was mid 30s. Have a ds now. Married five years been together 11. We love each other and are a great team. I wouldn’t be without him. He is extremely young at heart though and very fit and has lots of time and loves to help me - it works for us as I am main breadwinner and work part time and we 50/50 childcare and housework.

Apologies I just rtft and see this is not really what the issue is. Abandoning your partner for a younger model is just fuckery. I’m sorry.

We have that age gap. Works fine. Together twenty years, married with kids half that.