Ex sending money

[SpinningFloppa]

My ex doesn’t pay any maintenance at all (nothing I can do about it.) He barely sees our children (purely his choice I’ve tried to encourage more contact but he isn’t interested.) He last saw them one month ago for half an hour, will speak to my children occasionally on the phone (maybe every couple of weeks.)

My son got an Xbox for Christmas and his father asked if he would like a game for it and he would send some money on Tuesday for the game, he asked my son how much it was and he said £29.99. So yesterday he sent exactly £29.99! Literally to the penny. I can’t imagine typing in £29.99 to send money surely you would just put 30? I don’t know but it’s bugged me for some reason given he doesn’t pay a single penny in maintenance and my children need clothes, shoes, food, electric, gas, school dinners, trips, clubs etc does this sound really tight?

Why doesn't he pay maintenance, have you tried to claim through child maintenance?

Yes he doesn’t have to, it’s NIL assessment

Does he not work? Or is he self employed and fiddled it so he doesn’t have to?

What a failure he is, anyway. Imagine hardly ever wanting to see or speak to your children.

Yes, tight.

What a shit dad. I wouldn't waste your time encouraging contact, I can't see it doing your dc any favours emotionally when he's such a twat.

That is so petty, I think I would have to laugh at how pathetic he is, although I appreciate that you probably don’t feel like laughing in your situation.

UK society need to do a much better job of shaming non resident parents who do not contribute in time or money to bringing up their own children.

What a shit dad. Wouldn't waste your time on him.

Oh I've got an ex like this
He resents paying maintenance, won't pay a penny extra.
Once my DD needed sanitary products at his house, I had to send him the money.
£3 worth of cooking ingredients she needed for school, I had to send the money, a £2 pen she wanted, yep I had to send the money.
It's ridiculous so I understand completely

He sounds so pathetic and petty. You’re well shot of him. Bide your time as your dc will see through his crap parenting skills.

My ex was the same, absolutely no maintenance and expected me to drive DS miles and miles away to whatever squat he was living in.
I didn't bother, he never sent xmas or birthday gifts or cards and couldn't be bothered to actually get off his backside to see DS.
Funny now DS is an adult he is forever calling him and wanting this favour and that favour or a loan, or a visit.
DS just isn't interested and doesn't bother responding.

Sorry to hear that OP. Reminded me of my cousins growing up. My aunt would buy birthday cards on behalf of her ex-husband, and send them to him, and he would write in them and send them back.. just so her children would have birthday cards from him on their birthdays.

Now those children are in their 20s, they don't even see their dad once a year.

Well, he is simply trying to gather a team dad here me feels, what I mean by that is send money over to the penny, only for your son only, so that your son then has this idea of his dad that is distorted from reality, then as your son gets older, your son will then have this disney dad image rather than the one from actual reality, a dad who does not hand over any extra as obviously the dad will feel that any money sent to you is going to go on make up, nights out and clothes for you. My experience.

Its really tricky to handle such situation.

Well my son of course thinks he is great now for buying him the game. He doesn't work or claim benefits hence nil assessment.

How does he afford to live?

He rents out rooms in his flat.

That’s income, is he declaring it? I would maybe let HMRC know. It may not be enough to pay tax but I’d let them decide that.

No he isn’t and I don’t want to report it.

More fool you then.

Yep separate issue that combine into one.

Firstly you are a cool for not pursuing the maintenance when you know he has rental income.

Secondly even though he isn't paying I really don't think I could whip myself up into such a lather over 1p. He asked how much the game was, the game was 29.99, he sent 29.99 and you are winding yourself up because he didn't send £30.00.

You are getting pissed off because of the rest of the maintenance issue. Report the rental income to CMS.

*a fool not a cool 🤦🏼‍♀️

I’ve looked into it many times trust me, and I have been told repeatedly nothing will be done about it; I’ve even asked on the legal section on here and been told there’s nothing that can be done (it’s cash in hand) the £29.99 did wind me up as it’s just odd to type that out surely an adult would just put 30? My son is 10 his father is an adult, when my mums bought me things then asked for the money I’ve always just rounded it up (say if it’s £8.50 I would give her £10 never known an adult to be so specific)

I also have no proof of what he is doing ( I was told hmrc would expect proof) he admits it verbally but in messages he will deny it

Of course something can be done. HMRC doesn’t just not pursue tax evaders because it’s cash in hand. You have nothing to lose by ringing them even if they do nothing with the information.

I’m not sure we’re or if you looked but HMRC even ask you not to send supporting information to them….

www.gov.uk/report-tax-fraud

*where

If you report to HMRC he will have to show where he's getting the money he lives on. If he has no job, claims no benefit and has no depreciating saving then HMRC will want to know where his living expenses come from.
If he rents or sub-lets then it's income that should be declared. He must be making a fair bit if it covers his costs, bills and living allowance.