Sticky situation please help

[chanelle1998]

Hi all. I could really do with some advice on this topic.

So I have been with my partner 8 years and I don't know why I did this, but I set up a profile on a dating app for myself🤷‍♀️ our relationship hasn't been 100% and I feel I was lacking ALOT from him. Anyway we're due to be getting married in march.

I matched with this guy on there, we exchanged number and have been one stop texting for 3 days now. I really like him and we have a lot in common, he's hot.
Obviously it's wrong to be speaking to another man like this while im in a relationship but I can't seem to stop speaking to him. He appears to be really nice and we're getting on well.

What do I do? It's such a messy situation I'm in right now. Please help.

It depends. How hot is hot guy? If he's greater than a 7, ditch the fool who asked you to marry him, and go have your miniscule brain shagged out by Mr Hot(*).

(*) Mr Hot = short, obese, bald, insolvent, bespectacled 55yo who gets his jollies by preventing decent men entering into lives of misery when their fiancees are cheating scum. 👍

Well call the wedding off to start with

OP, you need to either tinkle or get off the pot.

You refer to it as a messy situation and a stick situation as if it just happened all by itself. 🙄

The first thing you need to do is call off your wedding. Most people only have eyes for their fiancé at this stage so he is not the right person for you.

Who knows where her anything will come of it with the new man, but that is not the point as it doesn’t change that you are not happy with current man.

If this is real. Stop being sly, grow up, tell the truth and make 2023 the year of being a more decent human.

Oops! Silly you.

What on earth do you expect to hear? First things call off the wedding. You would be selfish to do otherwise. You're not committed.
As far as dating, do what you want, but don't get serious with anyone till you've sorted yourself out

You might feel like your conversation with the hot guy is special OP but reality is that people on dating apps generally speak to lots of people, and what you have with him is more fantasy. Decide if you've just got cold feet or if you don't love your fiance.

“We’ve got a lot in common, he’s hot” sounds as if you’ve found your soul mate….

This speaks volumes- you’re clearly not ready to marry your fiancé and being very unfair on him.

The new man knows you’re engaged….🥴I’d tread carefully with him!

Classy

I had someone do this to me, when it all came out, I got the 'I don't know why I did it'. I'm not a violent person, but I honestly wanted to punch him in the mouth.

You do something that could so substantially hurt another person, and you fucking own it, the cheating is bad enough, the 'I don't know why I did it' bullshit makes you look like some kind of helpless victim who just ended up in it, when in fact YOU have orchestrated this situation.

Own your shitty actions and leave your poor fiance to meet someone who won't treat him so cruelly.

I hope you haven't paid out too much for the wedding, can you get your deposit back.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Love this!

It's such a messy situation I'm in right now.
Well, its not a situation you've stumbled into. Its a situation you've created totally by yourself.

What do I do?

1. End your current relationship. Your fiancee does not deserve to be treated like this. You are currently cheating on him (in case you are unclear about this part)

2.Pursue something with your new found 3 day old 'hot guy', who seems content to get involved with a woman he knows is due to get married in a couple of months. You sound perfectly suited.

This is a wind-up, surely??

I hope she has, and out of her own pocket. Her poor fiancé hopefully won't have paid a penny to prepare to marry such a cracker bird

Your clearly not ready to marry him

focus on that first rather than putting energy into Tinder man

the longer you leave it the harder it’s going to be

"our relationship hasn't been 100% and I feel I was lacking ALOT from him. Anyway we're due to be getting married in march."

These two sentences don't go together. Call off the wedding.

our relationship hasn't been 100% and I feel I was lacking ALOT from him.

Dont marry him.
Review whether your relationship is worth carrying in and putting a lot if work in. It might well not be.
Stop talking to this guy and delete the dating app. It’s inky going to ake the situation even messier than it already is.

WTF? Are you serious?

Call off the wedding for starters, you owe your fiance that at least. No way should you entertain the idea of getting married if things aren't 100% in the relationship.

If you're this easily swayed by someone you've been speaking to for 3 days and haven't even met, then you should seriously consider ending things with the fiance.

The adult thing to do when you are having problems in a relationship is to talk to your partner, or get some couples counselling to see if things can be rectified. Setting up a dating profile was extremely disrespectful, regardless of your relationship issues.

😁

Hey @Watchkeys ! 👋

Why would you join a dating site when your getting married? Thats a awful thing to do,how would you feel if your husband to be did this.

It follows the classic pattern.