Help me write an online dating profile please!

[thirdtimeluckymaybe]

I've never written one. I'm normally confident but don't know where to begin!
I am looking for the same qualities that I have/ am myself eg independent , confident, self sufficient, chatty, family oriented, a worker, fun and most of all, kind and caring and then I have a list of things that I enjoy.
I am 48 and divorced with kids.
I know what I DONT want but dont Want to offend or hurt anyone.
I won't put photos up as I work in the community in public service ( think medicine) and don't want things to get awkward or weird which I know they can in the online dating world.
I can describe myself honestly ( physically) eg tall, dark haired , sallow, size 14 and would do this so it would outrule a man looking for different so as not to waste time. Is that a stupid idea?
I really don't know where to start with this . I hope you can advise.
I've been with quiet, work shy, emotionally bankrupt , introverted and dependent men in my previous life ... married to one.
I know I don't want these qualities but again I do t want to be rude or obnoxious.
Help! Please 😊

I would remove the size 14 reference

A man never specifies that his specific size

Say something else like your hobbies or interests instead

I found online dating better without a profile picture. Got less sex pests. I always sent a pic straight away when contacting someone or when they contacted me but it just seemed to weed out the idiots not having a pic.

You can block people as soon as you see their profile.

A man never specifies that his specific size

Unless It's 8 inches.

Which in never is if you meet the reality.

@nelanel you can block people from viewing your profile (assuming you have their phone number and also that they use this when registering

Thanks @nc1013 I'll bear that in mind.

Which site allows you to do this please?

I would say use a photo and go for the paid site. Good luck

The profiles without photos can also indicate married looking for an affair. That or a nature scenery photo.. it's like a secret handshake in the affair world.

@nelanel Bumble has this option, but I think they all do.

I've been helping a family member set up their on line profile. Several people put photos of themselves from a distance with a lovely background - a photo of them at the beach with sunglasses on from several meters away, or hiking with a hat on/sunset so the image is slightly obscured etc...
People can see a rough idea of what you look like without any detail.

Just a few basic sentences about your interests,personality and what you are looking for - long profiles seem to get ignored.

Bumble incognito is what you need!
You remain hidden

No man on this earth knows what sallow skin means, and neither do most women. It doesn't sound appealing. Put a pic up and don't mention it.

Sorry but please don't go with that AI- generated profile !

Agree you need at least one face photo and one full length. Recent/representative and flattering. You put your best foot forward but you don't outright lie.

Blurb:
Don't use 'sallow', unless you're searching in a part of the country where this is a compliment. Don't put your size or weight - men don't know what that means.

How would you ideally spend a free weekend?
Mention activities that you enjoy (including those you'd like to do more of). Be specific if you can - eg instead of baking you're 'perfecting your lemon drizzle'. Instead of 'hiking' > "I loved the ascent of Hellvelyn last Autumn and currently planning a day up Kinder Scout next month.
Agree, don't talk about negatives unless totally unavoidable. Eg I'm allergic to cats so i mentioned that in a lighthearted way because it's a dealbreaker.

It's great that you have identified lots of positive traits in yourself! Lovely! Keep those front of mind.

It's fine to cite a couple of the most important things you'd look for but don't write a shopping list. Eg:
"I'd like to meet someone who shares my strong work ethic and sociable nature"

Thanks

Photos are everything. If you don't have photos, people will assume you are scared, hiding, insecure (just like offline). If you don't want photos in the public, online dating is not for you. Try offline, friends of friends or a matchmaker.

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