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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH snoring is really driving me round the bend…

39 replies

Bagpuss2022 · 13/01/2023 04:38

He has been a loud snorer for the last few years it’s gotten particularly bad these last 18 months.
it’s so loud I can hear it in the lounge when I inevitably go down there. I have tried earbuds, headphones.
I have had no sleep literally for two days/nights now I’m on the sofa and can still here him.
he’s finally gone to the GP to get tested for sleep apnea I'm not sure it’s that he’s 10 stone 4lb doesn’t smoke and limited alcohol.
I struggle with insomnia anyway but this snoring just killing me I even took a zopiclone at 10pm still no sleep
I’m not sure what he can even do.
we don’t have a spare room our DC are 18 and 13 and he even disturbs them some nights from our bed DD 13 has a white noise machine now to counter it.
we have been Married 23 years he’s a great husband and father and he will sleep on the sofa but still sane issue honestly I would rather try and sleep through a crying newborn

OP posts:
Purplerain1144 · 13/01/2023 04:45

Could you try ear defenders? That's what I use

Original poster
Bagpuss2022 · 13/01/2023 04:47

Purplerain1144 · 13/01/2023 04:45

Could you try ear defenders? That's what I use

Would try anything he was in the Army for 18 years he might have some in his mountain of Army gear in the loft
I’m on the sofa now tv on 10 can still here him awful

OP posts:
Trez1510 · 13/01/2023 04:50

I was married to a snorer. I had to go to bed before him to sleep (I sleep like the dead once I'm asleep) because if he'd started snoring there was zero chance of me getting any sleep at all.

Is that a possible solution for you .... going to sleep before him?

BloodAndFire · 13/01/2023 04:52

At 4.50am, believe me, I feel your pain. He's been sleeping on the sofa a lot lately, but after we had some.. intimate time earlier, he crashed out in the bed and it's like trying to sleep next to an industrial walrus. I'm almost crying. I've woken him up to blow his nose three times and turned him onto his side but it's still unbearable. I'm going to feel like hell all day tomorrow.

BloodAndFire · 13/01/2023 04:53

Oh and I went to sleep before him (with 2 clonazepam) but he woke me up at 3am and that was it. 😥

Imogensmumma · 13/01/2023 04:56

I’m joining this party… My DH’s snoring is driving me round the bend. Especially now I have a 8 month DD my sleep is limited without him disturbing it!! What’s worse is he keeps procrastinating doing anything about it. Is there any product on the market that actually helps?

BloodAndFire · 13/01/2023 05:02

I don't think any products help. His dad and brother are both terrible snorers so I think it's partly genetic and he also has a bad cold at the moment (as do we all)

I've just kicked him out of bed and onto the sofa in the hope of getting an hour or so to rest before kids get up for school. He will be grumpy about it in the morning but needs must. Even if I don't sleep any more I can't bear the noise level

moleeye · 13/01/2023 05:02

Yep, he woke me up 2 hours ago. I need to get up in an hour. So annoying.

His is weight related (we've both out on recently) and are on diets/going gym which is going well. I can't keep going on about it as I know the snoring and weight combined is getting him down. But I'm truly fed up and exhausted!

I've already decided to have naps this weekend and he can sort out the kids!!!

Original poster
Bagpuss2022 · 13/01/2023 05:04

Feeling sorry for the fellow snorer sufferees it really does get you down. No wonder sleep deprivation is a form of torture

OP posts:
moleeye · 13/01/2023 05:08

Andddddd the 3 year old is up and ready to start the day.....

BloodAndFire · 13/01/2023 05:10

moleeye · 13/01/2023 05:08

Andddddd the 3 year old is up and ready to start the day.....

So sorry 😞

moleeye · 13/01/2023 05:18

I've persuaded him to get in my bed for a cuddle, hopefully he'll stay here for another 30 mins or so.

If he wakes his sister all hell will break loose and she will moan!

lightand · 13/01/2023 05:20

I have improved things a lot.
I realised he does a lot less snoring if he has 2 pillows instead one. And to have the pillows a bit propped up rather than totally flat.

AnaCav · 13/01/2023 05:22

Sorry you haven't been able to sleep well.

Have your heard about these? I got them last year and they're really life-changing. I can sleep through any noise

https://www.bose.com/enus/products/wellness/noiseemaskingsleepbuds/noise-masking-sleepbuds-ii.html#v=noiseemaskingsleepbudssiiwhite

Trez1510 · 13/01/2023 05:40

@Imogensmumma

None of the OTC 'remedies' helped us.

Eventually, though, my ex was diagnosed with sleep apnoea, and given a CPAP machine. He struggled to use it. I think, though, even if he had mastered it properly the damage to our relationship was already done by that time.

For years on end I was like a zombie due to sleep deprivation, until I hit on the cure of going to sleep before him. Which was fine unless I needed to visit the loo during the night. That was it, sleep time over even at 1:00am, and the next six hours wondering how many years in prison I'd get if I just put a pillow over his snoring face. I'm only half-joking there, because the effect of sleep deprivation really messed with my mental health. 😒

I have far too many anecdotes from family/friends who encountered his snoring on holiday, visits etc. over the years. They simply could not believe the decibel level even two rooms away, far less what I experienced lying side-by-side with him.

I genuinely believe if it had not been for his snoring, his refusal to accept it was torturous for me and his continual delay in having the investigations, we would still be together.

Aprilx · 13/01/2023 06:00

I am currently listening to my DH snoring from another bedroom. The other bedroom is our solution but he never closes doors!

Original poster
Bagpuss2022 · 13/01/2023 06:00

My MH is not the best suffer with PTSD and anxiety so this on top really pushes me to the edge.
I can here his alarm going off now no point me getting in bed for my alarm at 7. I don’t work at the moment due to the MH as I only really leave the house with DH or a support worker I have a few times a week.
can’t even go sleep when they all leave for school/work as my MHN is coming round this morning but she couldn’t give me a set time.

OP posts:
Bigminnie1 · 13/01/2023 06:10

I was about to murder my DH as he was snoring so badly. He bought a special mouthguard and it's made it so much better. Only the odd snorts now.

Merlott · 13/01/2023 06:15

Try nasal strips for him

100% solved my DH horrendous snoring AND he says he feels more refreshed in the morning. Probably cos he hasn't been kicked 50 times to STFU!!!

Feel stupid we didn't try them 5 effing years ago when it started!!!!

They are cheap e.g.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/224192695488

Zanatdy · 13/01/2023 06:39

I’d probably get some of those comfortable sleep headphones and play white noise or music etc. That’s fine as you’re not alone in the house so others would hear a smoke alarm etc

MontageOfHeck · 13/01/2023 06:47

Bose Sleepbuds have genuinely changed my life. They are expensive, but I can sleep anywhere now (previously I would barely get any sleep as I hear absolutely everything). The other thing that helped is single beds pushed together with our own single quilts. I know this might sound extreme, but it’s worked and I’m much happier now I can sleep.

Vebrithien · 13/01/2023 07:08

I have the same problem with DH!

But I can't wear ear buds/plugs/defenders, because I need to be able to hear if the children need me, or my alarm goes off.

DH will sleep through toddler DS screaming, without waking up, he sleeps through the fire alarm chirruping, and his alarm.

Grrrrr

Aprilx · 13/01/2023 07:11

MontageOfHeck · 13/01/2023 06:47

Bose Sleepbuds have genuinely changed my life. They are expensive, but I can sleep anywhere now (previously I would barely get any sleep as I hear absolutely everything). The other thing that helped is single beds pushed together with our own single quilts. I know this might sound extreme, but it’s worked and I’m much happier now I can sleep.

I got these for holiday when I am forced to share a room with DH. 🙂 They are good, although I sometimes find it uncomfortable to sleep with something in my ear. I think they might have been discontinued now though, as I seem to have lost mine and couldn’t find them for sale anywhere.

gingerhamster · 13/01/2023 07:17

I use silicon earplugs (I break them in half as they're too big. I also have a musicozy headband with built in speakers, I play white noise or wave music and wear that over the top!

Flittingaboutagain · 13/01/2023 08:17

I was reading about the causes of snoring in the night. For my husband it has definitely become an issue with his weight gain and apparently the more neck fat the worse snoring is. He didn't snore until 18 months ago.

I'm going to suggest some of the ideas here because I'm at my wit's end. No amount of telling him has resulted in him actually doing anything about it other than say "stop picking on me I can't help having a sinus problem". He has no idea how awful it is! Even if it is a sinus problem that doesn't mean I should put up with it. He gets mad when I wake him to change position (which moves the tongue apparently)