Thank you for taking the time to read my dilemma no judgements or rude comments please. I’ve been with my boyfriend about a year and a half and I feel like our relationship is lowkey controlling but as I’ve been in an abusive/controlling relationship before it’s quite hard for me to leave him…he is Muslim and quite strict on how I present myself which has been a bit of a challenge as there’s been times I’ve gone out with him wearing for example a tight jumpsuit that’s a bit low cut (nothing too revealing) and he’s flipped about it and called me an embarrassment and walked off from me and wanted to go home as he dosent want to be seen with me it’s taken me a lot of time to become confident in myself and it always just knocks me down and makes me feel like I’m disgusting. Last year we seemed to have a lot of arguments they were over petty things but my boyfriend would break up with me for 4/5 days and then get back with me every time we had these arguments and I was starting to get fed up of it so on one of the occasions he broke up with me I started talking to a guy I’d known previously to my boyfriend and when my boyfriend got back with me he found out and lost it ever since then he’s not trusted me at all. The other day I went to collect something I bought from Facebook marketplace and he demanded I show him where I was going and I had to show him the conversation I’d had with the lady for him to believe me…whenever I don’t answer the phone straight away or if I miss a call due to my signal being bad he’ll get angry at me and say “who were you on the phone to”…the thing that I think has been most extreme is I’m getting my own council property in a few days (he won’t be living with me he lives with his mum) and he’s said he’s gonna pay to put a doorbell camera on my front door and he’s gonna be in control of it and have the app on his phone so he can sit at his mums and watch what’s happening at my house and see who’s coming in and out which I feel is somewhat creepy him watching the house like that he said it’s for my safety…yesterday I told him I was going to drive to the area the house is in to have a look and he got angry at me and said I shouldn’t be wasting my petrol driving around and made me feel bad so I said I’ll just stay home and once he knew I felt guilty he softened up and said I can go. I feel like all of this is my fault as I spoke to a guy while we broke up I was even talking to him for a bit while me and my boyfriend were back together so I feel like I’ve given him a reason to be like this…I constantly say I know he dosent trust me and he says well what do you expect after what you did. I dunno what responses I’m expecting from this but just needed to let it out to someone as I feel like everything’s my fault and dunno what to do.