DP so rude to me whenever poorly/tired

[Pureshores]

Been together 3 years and don't live together. I have a DC and DP has a DD (ill use DSD). DSD is 11 and currently has tonsillitis and has been really poorly. I've been texting consistently and concerned about her. She now has antibiotics. Anyway DP is the resident parent and hasn't had much sleep as been up in the night with DSD. However DP has just been constantly rude to me. I get DP is tired and has been concerned but I don't get why I'm being spoken to in a bad way when all I've been is comforting.

I went to visit my parents with DC and didn't look at my phone for 1 hour due to taking and playing with DC. DP got in a mood with me for not replying within 1 hour. I called yesterday evening to ask how they both were and checking in as DP had ignored my messages all afternoon asking how they were. DP said on the phone "I'm not ok, I'm tired but is there anything you can do, no!"
I expressed I just called to check in and felt they were being rude. Even after the call I was texting checking how things were. But I just feel when me or my DC is poorly I'm not rude and still ask questions about DP day and I'm pleasant.
This happens anytime DP or DSD is poorly/tired.

Dp keeps sending me messages but then goes on to delete them so I can't see what's said. No idea why.

I can't bring myself to say the words I don't want to be with you. I guess it's because I fear loneliness but then again this constant feeling of her not being supportive, putting all blame on me, making me feel rubbish isn't nice either.
I need to find the strength to do it

Just block her to give yourself space, she’s obviously looking for attention now.

Then gather yourself and end it. By staying in this rubbish relationship you are effectively blocking yourself from meeting someone who will treat you with kindness and respect. It’s not a good enough reason to put up with her shit.

She's being pathetic at this point!

Again OP i am so sorry you're having to deal with this, you sound like such a lovely and caring person too!!

OP,

I'd just straight up tell her how she's making you feel,
She's being very hot & cold towards you - you have checked in when you've had chance and been there as much as possible, she isn't appreciating that and wants more than you can give.

I'd simply say "Look, I know you're having a hard time, and I wish there was more I could do to help, but there simply isn't. I've checked in when I've had the chance, and that's not been enough for you. You've hurt my feelings over the last few days and it's not fair. I have my own child and priorities to think of too, and I don't appreciate you're lack of understanding towards me when you feel that it's okay to go off on one at me for simply being busy. I'm not going to hover around my phone all day and ignore everything else for you. I think we need a serious talk and I think you need to weigh up if I'm the right person for you. If I'm not giving you what you want, despite me trying my best, then it's not fair on either of us"

Hope this helps you OP. Xx

Dp keeps sending me messages but then goes on to delete them so I can't see what's said. No idea why.
To keep you constantly thinking about her, of course.

I can't bring myself to say the words I don't want to be with you. I guess it's because I fear loneliness but then again this constant feeling of her not being supportive, putting all blame on me, making me feel rubbish isn't nice either.
I need to find the strength to do it
There is nothing lonelier than feeling alone in a bad relationship.
You will still have everything you enjoy from your life - just not this woman.
Once you are free of her, you will realise how much you have been conditioned to walk on eggshells around her undermining & manipulative behaviour. You will feel relief, & a sense of freedom.

I thought that right from the start. How quick people are to jump to the conclusion that any bad behaviour must be from a man...

He sounds like a dick. You realise you deserve better, right?

(And if your partner is a she, then she sounds like a dick.)

Keep it simple, reward good behaviour ignore bad behaviour, so when he's rude to you just ignore him.
If he can't ever be nice then start distancing yourself and end the relationship whatever you do don't move in with him, he will get much worse if he's got you under his control.

*her not him!

For those asking, DP is a woman

Or maybe it’s because he’s on a site called Mumsnet where 95%+ users are women…

She sounds manipulative and selfish. You sound lovely and caring. I hope you get the strength to end it.

Moodiness would be a deal breaker for me.

@Pureshores you mentioned the silent treatment- this is abusive.

I think op is also female

Yes I am

Thank you for everyone's advice. I've held strong and not apologised because I have not done anything wrong.
Dp has now begun being nice, now she knows this moody and rude behaviour won't work. I hate it when she does this because then I'm left feeling guilty and bad

Don't feel bad or guilty!! (I know it's easier said than done) but I hope you're ok! Xx