Ew. Wtaf just happened...

[Thatsasmashingblouseyouvegoton]

I'll try and keep it brief.
Went to visitl dhs family member and her dh earlier today. Haven't seen them since pre covid (2019)
Her dh insisted I go into the kitchen with him then tried to kiss me, then gave me times next week to phone him when cousin isn't home. To arrange "time alone" !!!???
He's 77 ffs
I'm utterly baffled, slightly nauseated and pretty offended tbh
So premeditated!
Maybe he's losing his marbles?
(You don't have to be mad to fancy me but it helps...)
I was about to ask if everything was OK when his wife (the cousin) walked into the kitchen!
Followed closely by my dh and dc!
Ugh.
I feel dirty 😪
Obviously, I cut the visit as short as I could and told dh as soon as we got home.
We are both wtf!!??😲😲😲
Won't be phoning him btw!
I've just told dh we need to avoid all future meetings. Shouldn't be too hard.
Any insights?
Advice?
I'm honestly blindsided by this 😔

Dementia is a very weird illness , my mum has it and presents normally unless you know she well . She has weird ideas and theories at the start of it ..

Very odd though ,

That sounds scary, glad you are ok. One of the first sign of MIL’s dementia came out of the blue over a Family Sunday lunch. She randomly started talking about her sex life with her first boyfriend, made for an interesting lunch! FIL before that point had been outright denying anything was wrong, so maybe your relatives wife has been doing the same? I can well imagine with some men when their filter goes it’s more like you experienced.

If it werent for the fact that he is in his 70's I would wonder if he was a "friend" of mine. I say "friend" as we are part of a certain social circle so I have to see him but I keep my distance. No dementia, unless he has had it since he was 18.

He is dirty old man. Before that he was a dirty middle aged man and before that a dirty young man. He has been trying it on with anything with tits since Adam was a lad. By all accounts his wife knew about it and eventually made her own arrangements ...ahem.... they seem happy enough, she is a lovely woman.

About 8 years ago friend offered me a lift home from work, I was running the local pub at the time and lived about half a mile away. He deliberately turned the wrong way out of the pub and then tried it on. I went nuts. Yelled and screamed at him and he took me home. My then husband had a "quiet word" and he was very quiet and sheepish around me for about a year. We can be socially ok now but he knows not to come anywhere near me.

Sadly some pervs really do think that they can charm the birds from the trees and that any woman they show an interest in will immediately cave in, why wouldnt they when offered this "prize"? My own uncle was/is the same, piece of shits all of them.

I meant to say that perhaps your DH should have a word with him. A word from you should be enough but will never be taken seriously by assholes like this. Certainly wasnt by my "friend" but he changed his tune after my husband spoke to him. Your DH saying that his approaching you was totally unacceptable, that DH will be informing his wife if anything like this happens again and that he owes you both an apology will do two things. Firstly it makes it clear that you told your DH, probably not something he was expecting you to do. And secondly that you both now know about this so there is double the risk of his wife finding out so its in his best interests to behave himself.

I don't know anything about dementia, but that was my thought too. Surely no-one in their right mind would try to start an affair with someone else's wife like that. Or I would have thought historically, they'd have noticeably been a creep.

@Clovacloud

Oh dear. My friend took her father out for a nice Sunday lunch with the family and he announced to the table that the waitress had a cracking pair of tits. They were all absolutely mortified but his dementia was quite far gone at this point. I can confirm that my friends father was a mild mannered man who absolutely was NOT a perv. I mean maybe in his younger years that’s a thought he might have kept to himself but you can act incredibly out of character with it.

I’m not sure I’d class him asking you into the kitchen as premeditated.

If he’s never acted this way before then I’d definitely be concerned for his MH.
Especially as he went straight to kiss you.

If he fancied you, then I would have thought he would have played the long game and at least flirted a bit first to test the waters.

A neighbour was similar after a stroke, he didn’t grope anyone but he came out with some inappropriate comments. The stroke affected the part of his brain that controlled inhibitions.
I’d let your cousin know what happened and soon.

OP I admire the sense if humour you show in recounting the scene. It sounds really very stressful. Ime men who didn't raise alarm bells earlier doing something like this is particularly unpleasant, makes you wonder jow on earth you gave them the idea.

A brain problem seems distinctly possible but whether or not it is that, I think it would be kind to alert the wife. Not that you're obliged to recount such an appalling encounter.

Something similar happened to my dad in a care home from a female with dementia. I was informed by the social worker. They used it as an excuse to have my dad move to another home. Said I had only a few days. It was a health trust home and it was very distressing as my mum was very ill in hospital.