Should i leave my husband?

[Brokenrose26]

I have been married for 4 year but been on and off with him for about 13 years. As the years have gone on especially when we got married and moved in together its got worse. He has a 6 year old son that lives with us and he stays at his mams 2 nights a week. My husband has adhd. Recently hes been worse than normal. He calls me names all the time, puts me down, critasize what i do. He tells me what i can and cant do. Who i can and cant talk to. I work full time on nights and he hasnt worked since we got married. He expects me to do all the house work, cook est.
And before it all got this bad i was doing everything for his son even when he was there. I also have to take him to school and pick him up everyday apart from when his mam picks him up. As he dosent like going to the school even after i have finished a 12 hour night shift i have to rush home to take him to school.

And the past few weeks he goes out all the time and leaves me on my own takes his son with him. So i am on my own all day. He has his tea at his mams all the time and gose to his mams or nannas for sunday dinner even when i am off work and he leaves me at home alone once again. As he said i dont make propper meals.
He has told me i am not alowed sex off him. As i didnt put enough effort in or give him it enough. I had my reasons. He told me the other night i can have sex but only with a condom on so i said yea he said coz he dosent want a kid with it being like this i said i dont want one anymore anyway. (I have struggled to concive had 2 miscarrages in the past.) Coz the condom broke twice he just desided to have a wank instead which i wasnt happy about. There is no affection either.

He says if i am nice to him he will be nice back to me.

Anyway i have been really down and depressed lately even over christmas and new year. I have been in constant moods and talking to him like shit and i just dont have the patients with his son my step son. I will just have a go or not bother with him. But when im alone i am ok until they come home.

He also controls my money i pay my bills then whatever is left he said i could have a £100 a month and he takes the rest because i just waist money. Anyway i have managed to get him to go halfs with the money now.

He has also got anger issuse as he can flip in a second and has threatened me before with a few things.

For a few weeks i have been looking at flats or cheap 2 bed houses to rent as i feel like i need to get out. I have no money at the min but i plan on saving as much as i can each month and putting it away in a cash tin which i put in my locker at work so he cant get his hands on it.

The problem is i dont know how much longer i can be there for i am constantly moody and argumentitve when hes home and his son drives me up the wall.
What do i do.

Atm i dont speak to any of my family but i think my dad would take me back but i would have nothing there and no where to sleep. And he lives in a different town to wear i work and i dont drive i use my bike to get to work. The council/ housing assosistion wouldnt help as i would be making myself homeless.

Can anyone give me some advice or tell me if i am in the wrong or if i should be feeling like this.

Thanks

Update early this morning I got an email from universal credit as we had a joint claim saying I needed to log in as there had been a change made. I went on and he has changed it to a single claim. I messaged him and he said he has moved back to his mams and he's gunna phone the council on Monday about getting his name off the tenancy. But my problem is that I sorted a flat out and supposed to be getting the keys and signing the tenancy next Wednesday. I have paid my first month's rent and deposit and was told if i want to leave within 6 months I will still have to pay the rent and council tax for the flat for 6 months in total. I haven't signed the tenancy so will I have to do that or not because I haven't signed anything. He didn't know I was leaving. He just said it wasn't working. I have no idea what he's took and what he hasn't as I am still at work and I have been stressing since I found out. Help me please. I don't know how much more I can take I can't afford 2 lots of rent and council tax and I don't really wanna leave the house as the council would charge me loads as the garden isn't up to standards and one of the bedrooms is painted red and black and I haven't got time to decorate or sort the garden. It has a shed in there and a 20 ft poll tunnel. Which was his. What on earth do I do

I can't help with advice about the rent but wanted to say well done & hopefully give this a bump so that someone more knowledgable can help!

He doesn't work
He's controlling
He leaves you alone when he goes out
He controls when you have sex and how you have it (why would you want to have sex with him?)

GET RID, he's no good

Can you speak to Shelter?

You could ring the tenancy for your current place and give notice for both of you, you will still both be liable for rent on the remaining term whilst notice is served but cheaper than cancelling the new one if you can't wriggle out of it.

I think as you haven't signed they can't enforce it but I'd want legal advice.

Try asking in legal here?

OK...
Breathe.
If you haven't yet signed the private tenancy agreement you might not have to pay 6 months rent up front and they may be prepared/have to give you the deposit back. On what terms did you pay first month's rent?

Ideally you don't want to lose council/HA tenancy but be warned, a joint tenant can terminate a tenancy for both tenants without the consent or agreement of the other joint tenant. Some won't allow assignment from joint tenants to a sole tenant, some will.

Speak to private rent first amd ask the hypothetical q about not signing agreement.