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Original poster

Who should copy the photos?

31 replies

tiptaptow · 03/01/2023 22:15

My sister moved to Australia a good few years ago. Her OH was paid a substantial relocation fund to emigrate there with his family. It is a permanent move. After my mum died 10 years ago, we moved her family photo collection to my dad's (they divorced decades ago). My sister has decided she wants to take the photos back with her. I suggested she take copies of any of the ones she wants (all of them if she wants!), so that my other sister and I can still have access to them all.

The emigrated sister wants to split the photos into 3 and suggests that we all (all 3 sisters) take 2 copies of those what we have and send them to the others.

My thinking is that taking copies of family photos is part of the work of emigrating - for which they were generously remunerated. I don't think giving me the work of copying the photos is OK and I know my other sister is feeling even more overwhelmed by life than I am.

For context, the emigrated sister has visited every few years and claims plans to continue to do so. For various reasons my other sister and I can't visit her. My emigrated sister is wealthy - much wealthier than myself and the sister who remains here.

I am feeling upset by this suggestion and am not sure if I am seeing things clearly. I'd love other's views on this. I don't want to respond to my sister's suggestion without taking the time to properly think things through.

OP posts:
babbi · 03/01/2023 22:21

Splitting 3 ways of originals is fair .
Copies of any particular ones that anyone wishes can be facilitated.
Thankfully these things are much cheaper now than previously to do this .

it would be fair to do this split ( and many families do this post bereavement) regardless of the location of the siblings.

I don’t think that fact your sister emigrated means she should bear the cost .

Sorry for your loss .

TheFlis12345 · 03/01/2023 22:29

How many photos are we talking? Sounds like the fairest way would be to have them all scanned, then split the originals three ways. Then if any of you want more than a third of them you can have those particular ones printed yourselves. I can’t imagine any of you will regularly look through a large volume of pictures so don’t need them all printed, just your favourites.

Original poster
tiptaptow · 03/01/2023 22:30

Thank you.

My thinking was that the only reason we need more copies is because she emigrated. My other sister and I see each other regularly and are happy to share one set of photos. The cost is created by her emigration and she was funded to emigrate.

But I hear that you see it differently and it's useful to hear other's thoughts.

OP posts:
Original poster
tiptaptow · 03/01/2023 22:32

100's! They include gran's photos too which mum took when she died (only surviving child). Hence so many!

We do look through them - my sister who's here and I. Not every week or anything but sometimes.

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 03/01/2023 22:32

Scan them in - the cost will be minimal and then email them around.

The originals should be split 3 ways - that is only fair.

Original poster
tiptaptow · 03/01/2023 22:33

OK sounds like people think scanning is the way forward. I think we need actual photos but I guess they can be printed from scans. Technologically this is beyond me but my kids will be able to talk me through it.

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 03/01/2023 22:40

This is what we did with my mothers photos when she died. I scanned them onto my laptop (my printer has a scan option), and then copied them over to a memory stick and posted the stick. That way everyone had a copy and could print off (either at home or somewhere like Boots) whatever they wanted hard copies of.

It did take me a couple of weeks though as she had thousands of photos.

Bluedabadeeba · 04/01/2023 03:33

There is also a good scanning option on programmes like one drive. Just put the photo on an A4 piece of paper.

SD1978 · 04/01/2023 03:36

You sound really better that they left and are doing well. Should be split between the three.

Borracha · 04/01/2023 03:52

Sorry but the fact she emigrated and received relocation funds is totally irrelevant. I also emigrated 10+ years ago and received a relocation grant and would have been totally ‘wtf’ if my brother thought it any way relevant to a similar situation.

I also want to provide the opposite side to the coin - your sister in Australia may well have a lot of difficult emotions to process right now. When my grandfather in the Uk died, I was bereft that I hadn’t been able to be close to him in his final years and I felt excluded (no one’s fault, just logistics) from a lot of what went on in the days leading up to and immediately following his death. These photos probably have a lot of sentimentality and symbolism wrapped up in them. I’m not saying more so than you, but in a different way.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 04/01/2023 04:02

Agree with PP; the fact she emigrated and her husband was paid well for it is not relevant to how family photos should be split. Split equally seems fair.

Zanatdy · 04/01/2023 06:36

I think it’s a big stretch to try and suggest copying family photos is part of a relocation cost. It’s really not. I think it’s fair to split the costs between the 3 of you yes.

Eixample · 04/01/2023 06:41

She might have asked to split the photos if she’d moved half an hour down the road. Her being in Australia isn’t the only reason she wants them.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 04/01/2023 06:43

They're family photos, she has just as much right as you to have them. Her relocating isn't important.

NoDairyNoProblem · 04/01/2023 06:44

Your sisters suggestion of a three way split is very fair.

sammylady37 · 04/01/2023 06:46

Christ, I hope I never become that petty about things

Fuzzywuzzyface · 04/01/2023 06:51

The quickest and simplest way to solve the issue is to scan the images and send them using wetransfer.com for example. She wants copies of the photos but they do not have to be physical copies.
An ipad has a scanning function.

category12 · 04/01/2023 06:51

I think in the long run, you'd be glad to have them all scanned. It should keep the images safe forever for your children & grandchildren to see, while the real things will fade. Plus so easy to share once digital.

maddy68 · 04/01/2023 06:58

Split them. And take copies of any of the ones you want to keep. That's the only fair way

Why should she not have equal access. ?

OnaBegonia · 04/01/2023 06:59

@sammylady37 agreed, the increase in petty moany posts on here is significant. 'overwhelmed' at the thought of copying photos 🙄

SunshineAndFizz · 04/01/2023 08:02

Of course you should split them fairly.

Why on Earth does her husband's relocation payment have anything to do with this, it's totally irrelevant.

You're all entitled to live where you want and also all have access to the photos.

Scan them like pp have said - and there's no time limit so don't feel overwhelmed, do them whenever fits in with you.

sammylady37 · 04/01/2023 08:02

maddy68 · 04/01/2023 06:58

Split them. And take copies of any of the ones you want to keep. That's the only fair way

Why should she not have equal access. ?

The op has mentioned the ‘substantial/generous’ relocation fund at least twice… she clearly has her nose out of joint about that. Imagine actually suggesting that copying photos is a relocation cost 🙄

DrMarciaFieldstone · 04/01/2023 08:08

sammylady37 · 04/01/2023 08:02

The op has mentioned the ‘substantial/generous’ relocation fund at least twice… she clearly has her nose out of joint about that. Imagine actually suggesting that copying photos is a relocation cost 🙄

Show quote history

🤣 of course it is! Comes under ‘miscellaneous expenses’… copying family photos because you can’t have any if you leave.

bestchristmasever · 04/01/2023 08:10

I would just scan them and put them on a memory stick or in cloud storage.

MMadness · 04/01/2023 08:11

Scan those and send them...

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