Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Who should copy the photos?

31 replies

tiptaptow · 03/01/2023 22:15

My sister moved to Australia a good few years ago. Her OH was paid a substantial relocation fund to emigrate there with his family. It is a permanent move. After my mum died 10 years ago, we moved her family photo collection to my dad's (they divorced decades ago). My sister has decided she wants to take the photos back with her. I suggested she take copies of any of the ones she wants (all of them if she wants!), so that my other sister and I can still have access to them all.

The emigrated sister wants to split the photos into 3 and suggests that we all (all 3 sisters) take 2 copies of those what we have and send them to the others.

My thinking is that taking copies of family photos is part of the work of emigrating - for which they were generously remunerated. I don't think giving me the work of copying the photos is OK and I know my other sister is feeling even more overwhelmed by life than I am.

For context, the emigrated sister has visited every few years and claims plans to continue to do so. For various reasons my other sister and I can't visit her. My emigrated sister is wealthy - much wealthier than myself and the sister who remains here.

I am feeling upset by this suggestion and am not sure if I am seeing things clearly. I'd love other's views on this. I don't want to respond to my sister's suggestion without taking the time to properly think things through.

OP posts:
soberfabulous · 04/01/2023 08:12

Borracha · 04/01/2023 03:52

Sorry but the fact she emigrated and received relocation funds is totally irrelevant. I also emigrated 10+ years ago and received a relocation grant and would have been totally ‘wtf’ if my brother thought it any way relevant to a similar situation.

I also want to provide the opposite side to the coin - your sister in Australia may well have a lot of difficult emotions to process right now. When my grandfather in the Uk died, I was bereft that I hadn’t been able to be close to him in his final years and I felt excluded (no one’s fault, just logistics) from a lot of what went on in the days leading up to and immediately following his death. These photos probably have a lot of sentimentality and symbolism wrapped up in them. I’m not saying more so than you, but in a different way.

As someone who emigrated 15 years ago, I was coming on to say the same.

swedex · 04/01/2023 08:12

Photos will fade over time so get them scanned in regardless of who has hard copies then you can all share them

CraneBoysMysteries · 04/01/2023 08:17

Get them scanned. But I agree with PP that yours sisters suggestion is fair and you seem completely bitter about her move which is totally irrelevant to this scenario.

My DM and her two sisters (who live 2 hours away from each other) split photos and scanned them.

The fact that she is wealthy is as irrelevant as saying she is vegan so should do it?

ThaiDye · 04/01/2023 08:19

Scan them all and have them on a shared Google album. That way there are always digital copies accessible to all.

You could share the burden of scanning them by dividing up the photos in to 3 piles, or pay a service/a teenager looking for a holiday job to do the scanning and split the cost.

PortiasBiscuit · 04/01/2023 08:19

Dear God, how do you normally get on with your sister? Such a non-thing to make a drama over!

WomanhoodIsABirthright · 04/01/2023 08:46

I'd scan them all, upload them to a shared album and then people can download and print what they want.

Split into 3 before scanning to share the load. That will only work though if all will scan and upload their share.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page