How do I handle this?

[DidyouNO]

My DH (married in March) has always been sensitive towards me and always making sure I'm ok. That's fine and lovely but actually what he does is ask me, a lot if 'I'm OK?' If I'm quiet thinking about the shopping list he'll say 'you're quiet, what's wrong are you ok'. Obviously the answer is, yes, I'm ok, just thinking about shopping. He usually response ' no ones this quiet because they're thinking about shopping'. And so it goes in that I end up getting a bit annoyed and trying to defend myself. If I'm walking around looking for something he'll ask what I'm looking for and I'll say 'a book' for example, but if I'm irritated I can't find it and mumbling 'I'm sure I left it in here' just to myself. And NOT angry. He'll tell me to calm down and not to get myself into a state, I'll clarify 'I'm not upset/angry/in a state, Im merely frustrated I can't find XYZ. It's not anger or anything but he will go on and on and on about me getting P::;ed off so I end up defending myself. If we fall out now he tells me I'm the angriest person he's ever met. Buts it's just in his head. I'm rarely cross, he's the one who gets upset about bad parking or delayed post or silly things. I'm at my wits end. I just want to cry with frustration that I can't do it say anything without this onslaught from him.

Oh dear OP, your updates are pointing at coercive control.

He is DARVO'ing you -
www.banyantherapy.com/darvo/
by making you out to be moody/irrational/at fault.

He then uses your perfectly rational & understandable irritation at his manipulative tactics to push you over the limit of patience.
Then he blames you for losing patience.

I suspect he is pushing until you fall into some form of Reactive Abuse, like shouting in frustration because he refuses to hear you.
diversity.social/reactive-abuse/

Please make sure you have watertight contraception.
Not that I can imagine you wanting to shag him when he behaves like this ...
The problem is, there will be no talking to him, because his tactics are deliberate.
he is trying to paint you as "my crazy wife" & emotional abuse like this always escalates.

You know it IS emotional abuse, right?
So don't be tempted to go to any form of couples counselling with him - it is seriously NOT recommended by professionals when one of the pair is abusive.
Keep your head down, use the Broken Record technique, walk away from him is he won;t stop badgering you, & start planning your escape.
Above all - do not JADE - it just gives him more ammunition to pepper you with - outofthefog.website/what-not-to-do-1/2015/12/3/jade-dont-justify-argue-defend-explain

& get stuck into this hugely helpful, informative & supportive site OP -
outofthefog.website/toolbox-intro

But it should be him doing this work on himself. It's not for you to fix him.

I just hate rocking the boat when it's all good. But I am at the build a patio stage.

In many of your posts you're making out everything is great apart from this one little thing but in the same breath he is on at you like this constantly. He's not easy to talk to. If I say anything he'll always just turn it back on my that I can't control what he hears. I could stamp and scream I'm so frustrated over it.

This is not healthy. You're walking on eggshells and trying to understand him better and he's just gaslighting you at best or ignoring you at worst. This is not healthy.

OP - it's not your job to fix this man.

You've been married 5 minutes & he's driving you insane with grief & frustration.

When you have to spell out the mechanics of decent, rational human interaction to another human - they are not somebody you should force yourself to stay in a relationship with.

He is emotionally abusing you because he benefits from keeping you constantly on the back foot. I would guess he knows what he is doing as well. Don't get pregnant with this tosser.