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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not interested in sex and OH gets angry when I say no

53 replies

Lonely37 · 31/12/2022 09:47

We’ve been together for 10 years.. 3 kids, mulling along okay. I started taking medication for my depression and anxiety and I am in therapy for PTSD which dates back to my childhood/teens. Not sure it if it is connected but I am just not interested in sex.
during the day OH will randomly touch me and I don’t just mean the odd bum slap, he will randomly grab at my breast even if I ask him not to and he will ask me continuously why I don’t want it or why I don’t like it. I don’t want to be constantly groped. So I don’t know if this has contributed to my lack of desire to dtd.

I have discussed with him the possibility that it could be my medication. He wanted me to start taking it, he was constantly telling me I needed to see a doctor for my mental health for a long while before I took the step to doing so. However no reason is ever good enough. If I say I don’t want it he will either say “well it’s tough because I do” or he will threaten to get it elsewhere.

Am I normal or is there something wrong with me? What should I do?

OP posts:
purpledalmation · 31/12/2022 13:18

Likely the side effects. Anti depressants depress many emotions not just sadness.

Bestcatmum · 31/12/2022 13:20

I have complex PTSD and my ex husband was a similar sex pest. It was unbearable and my ptsd got worse and worse. In the end I ended the marriage and it was the best thing I ever did.
I'm not a blow up doll, I'm a human being with needs and feelings.
So are you. You deserve better than this prick.

Creepinglight · 31/12/2022 13:30

The most important point here is that your H is awful. No-one would want sex with him.

You may find you have more desire for another man. You may not.

But you should never work to find your desire for this man again.

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