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Original poster

How did you know he was really one of the good guys?

78 replies

Sweetchops22 · 31/12/2022 01:01

How did you know he was really one of the good guys?

i have just broken up with my boyfriend and wanting some nice happy positive stories please to make me feel better 😪

TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
Sweetchops22 · 01/01/2023 16:32

Hope you feel better soon OP it really sucks so allow yourself to wallow a little then pick yourself up with whatever makes you happy

@namechangeforthisoneeee

thank you. I bloody hope so. He doesn’t seem bothered at all. In time I hope he realises what he had. By then i hope I’m well over him.

OP posts:
MaxTalk · 01/01/2023 16:37

No such thing - give it time and people change. It's human nature..

flooredbutfree · 01/01/2023 17:13

He could have a conversation with anyone - and not in a charismatic, charming way, he was just genuinely friendly and warm and liked making connections with people. He cried openly, he always gave me a hug when I walked through the front door, animals loved him, he was always consistent and I felt at peace with him.

Serenity45 · 01/01/2023 17:15

I asked if we could reschedule our 3rd date, explaining that my brother and sister in law had asked at short notice if I could have my then one year old nephew for the day (for good reason). My now DH said no worries at all and would I like some company? Cue him watching me change a stinky nappy in the park and my usually suspicious sister in law declaring him to be "lovely"...that was 13 years ago and he is still a good one.

MaMisled · 01/01/2023 17:19

I fell in love with DH when I saw him around his children, then, later, my children. Twenty happy years on, he's just completely irreplaceable!

applebee33 · 01/01/2023 17:22

He made me want to be a better person and be more like him , more generous , less judgmental, easier going. Once we had kids , and I saw how much he loved them it solidified those feelings

Original poster
Sweetchops22 · 01/01/2023 17:26

MaxTalk · 01/01/2023 16:37

No such thing - give it time and people change. It's human nature..

@MaxTalk what do you mean?

OP posts:
Beebumble2 · 01/01/2023 18:58

4 decades ago, he looked like an angle and has behaved like one ever since!

Beebumble2 · 01/01/2023 18:59

Angel!!!!! 🤣

Changes17 · 01/01/2023 19:03

At the beginning, it’s that there are no games. No saying they’ll call and not being in touch - but doing what they say they will, when they will. Taking you seriously.

Naimee87 · 01/01/2023 19:14

So sorry about your break up sending you some 🍫🍰 Watching & reading with interest, posted on another thread about being really let down by my man we’ve been in a 2.5yr long distance relationship. And even though things weren’t perfect, i genuinely thought he was a good one. He was meant to visit in between Christmas and New Year and instead i got radio silence the day before he was about to travel down. I’ve blocked/deleted him as i need to go NC. Not usually a fan of this approach but given how disappointed i am i cannot get reeled back in. The one before that was very short-lived, after a month of getting to know each other and him taking the lead i got ghosted from one day to the next. In the weeks leading up to that i didn’t get even the hint of a red flag. So again reading with a lot of interest. 🍿

GreenManalishi · 01/01/2023 19:24

After an absolute line up of exes, he's a breath of fresh air and on a daily basis after years I thank my lucky stars. He's not perfect, neither am I, but we deal with issues together and avoid blame, to work through them and come out the other side having learned a lesson and feeling stronger.

He is supportive of me in all the ways, he is an amazing host, he is brilliant with my children and was from day one and has never, ever made me feel like I have to choose, he knows they are the priority. He is generous, kind, and really funny. He is the best hugger, and I can talk to him about anything, and I fancy the pants off him. If I had to be stuck in a lift with anyone, I would choose him every time.

He does the lions share of the work in the home, plus the remembering of the things, I don't have to remind him, he's there before me more often than not. We share the same values and agree on what's important.

Honestly, if you'd have told me mid divorce when I was sworn off men FOR LIFE that I'd be in this relationship I would have told you to give your head a wobble. Happy new year, sending you all the love and luck x

SallyWD · 01/01/2023 19:50

When I was getting to know my DH I really noticed what a kind and thoughtful friend he was to others. He had a big group of really lovely friends who all thought the world of him. I also observed what a good son he was to his parents and a good brother to his sisters. He's always been very attentive and helpful towards his family. It made me think he took family seriously and would make a good father to my children. I was right.

ChicagoBears · 01/01/2023 19:53

He’s completely open enabling trust. He is fantastic with our DC, will play with them for hours and puts them first.

He’s house proud, he lived alone for years and knows how to do the basics; cooking, cleaning and ironing. We share all of the chores.

He’s thoughtful and puts others first, he’s smart and funny and he’s bloody stunning!

Whynowffs · 01/01/2023 20:12

@Sweetchops22 really interesting thread and I'm trying my best to be hopeful for the future reading the replies.
I was "dumped" 5 weeks ago out of the blue and have taken it really, really badly. In a pretty dark place right now and want nobody but him, but maybe that'll change one day.
Sending hugs 🫂

Original poster
Sweetchops22 · 01/01/2023 21:06

@Whynowffs so sorry to hear that. Were you together long? It’s just devastating isn’t it. My heart is broken too.

OP posts:
Summer2424 · 01/01/2023 22:45

Hi @Sweetchops22 sorry about your break up, sending you positive vibes, stay strong, you got this 💪x
For me i knew he was one of the good guys because he never gave up on me, he respects me and my family and he always says sorry first.

Onlylonelyontheinside · 01/01/2023 22:55

Please and Thank you in any sort of situation tells a lot about someone… manners cost nothing

Abcdefgh1234 · 01/01/2023 23:05

He is good with his mother. Love and respect his mother. And he is not afraid of commitment.

Original poster
Sweetchops22 · 02/01/2023 20:37

@Summer2424 thank you. My ex has most of these qualities, but never says sorry first. Bloody adamant he’s always right. But god I love him.

OP posts:
Whynowffs · 02/01/2023 21:20

Sweetchops22 · 01/01/2023 21:06

@Whynowffs so sorry to hear that. Were you together long? It’s just devastating isn’t it. My heart is broken too.

Only 6 months which people are finding ridiculous that I'm so devastated. But I fell in love with him very quickly after being with my ex husband 21 years and splitting earlier last year 😞.

Original poster
Sweetchops22 · 02/01/2023 21:55

@Whynowffs i’m so sorry. Did he give a reason why?

OP posts:
MilkshakesBringAllTheCoosToTheYard · 02/01/2023 22:10

Figgypudding123 · 31/12/2022 16:37

He always phoned when he said he was going to phone, arrived when he said he was going to arrive and was honest to a fault. I just knew from the start I could trust him...

This.

I think we've spoken almost every single day, although we spend a lot of time apart for work, and we've been together for 26 years now. When we were first getting to know each other he phoned me every single night. I have shiny blank fax paper from faxes he sent on days he couldn't call Blush

Crunchingleaf · 02/01/2023 22:24

I think you need to be together long enough to go through life’s ups and downs. See what he is like in an argument.
When me and my now DH were together a couple months there were huge changes in his work place and he found he didn’t like the change. Instead of ranting and moaning about it he found a new job that he is happy in. I admired that he is proactive enough to make a change when he isn’t happy.
Never once in an argument has he called me names or attacked me. We always talk it through and listen to each other. It’s not about blame it’s about finding common ground.
I can be myself around him and we have such a laugh together. I am safe with him and he treats me with such love and respect.
At the start there is always risk that the lovely guy is just an act but with enough time you get a chance to see true colours.

Whynowffs · 03/01/2023 00:14

Sweetchops22 · 02/01/2023 21:55

@Whynowffs i’m so sorry. Did he give a reason why?

He didn't like the way I apparently "sulked" when he led me to believe that he'd been for a drink with his ex wife. In the next breath he told me he wasn't sure what he wanted and didn't know if he wanted to move to the next level.

Seeing all the positive comments about lovely partners on here makes he see that he wasn't the one for me. It doesn't help my heart from feeling broken though.