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Original poster

Am I getting the piss taking out of me.

75 replies

Hellsfenton · 30/12/2022 11:46

A year ago I started dating, we started off with whatsapp...then phone calls then actually went out on a date in Decemeber last year. He has one son who he has maybe a couple of times a week and I have a son pretty much full time with the odd visit to his dads. Throughout the year he has cancelled coming round to mine saying he's been too busy etc several times..... he coparents with his ex amicably and I have met this family and get on with them great... a year on and there has been no overnight stays between us...even after I have mentioned this several times...he has a dog I have a dog and recently they have met and got on... a couple of weeks a go we where due to go to my Xmas party and everything was sorted like kids and dogs where all taken care of ...an hour before we where due to leave he cancelled on me! And I had to suffer the humiliation and embarrassment in going myself..he said he was sorry but didn't make amends by phonecall or coming round to see me the next day. As you can imagine I was very upset and angry and questioned our relationship. Then on Christmas eve ..him and his sons mum's family had a get together and weren't invited...and again massive question over the relationship.. feeling g rejected and not part of a couple... he briefly came round to sway presents on Christmas eve then went to his sons mother's family for their Xmas get together and left us feeling rejected...so now it's New Year and the same thing has happened for New years Day .. he's going to his sons mother's family( which I know and get on with) and havnt been invited nor has it been mentioned previously...as you can imagine after the last rejection.I now feel that I've been rejected again and can't believe that my "boyfriend " would want me to be alone on New Years Day ( my son is at his dads). I feel after a year of seeing each other being a couple means being invited to spend time together with family..I don't think I'm being unreasonable...especially after a year....or am I?

OP posts:
Coffeetree · 30/12/2022 12:46

Sounds like he likes the companionship but doesn't have strong feelings. Bit mean of him to string you along.

What happens when you've said you want him to spend the night?

Did I understand that you've met his family members? (You wrote that you'd met "this" family.) Just wondering he's still hung up on ex and so not willing to commit to you.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 30/12/2022 12:49

You are no kind of priority for him.
he can’t even put your feelings ahead of his wardrobe worries. It’s disrespectful and it’s taking the piss.

Original poster
Hellsfenton · 30/12/2022 12:53

Yes totally shagged but really only in the front room or we have been outdoor to do so......but never overnight stay in either of our houses 😔

OP posts:
Blanca87 · 30/12/2022 12:54

Are you sure you’re even in a relationship with him? It sounds like you’re pals & he is a flaky pal at that.

Original poster
Hellsfenton · 30/12/2022 12:55

He kinda dismisses it about overnight stay.... told me that's she is only the mother of his son and he does it for his kid , I'm totally not dissing her as she has invited me a few times to stuff and we get on very welll.... but I do think he is a meal ticket to her and her family as well.

OP posts:
Blanca87 · 30/12/2022 12:56

Och bless, you deserve better than this. Bring in 2023 in style and dump him. You should never be made to feel like this

Oopsiedaisyy · 30/12/2022 12:58

Say "hi, sorry, I thought I had signed up for the gf package , but I only seem to be getting fwb level package? I want to unsubscribe please"

Sunsetintheeast · 30/12/2022 12:59

Oh come on, you wouldn’t do what you’ve described to a best friend.
He’s playing happy families, but not with you I’m afraid.

Time to leave.

forrestgreen · 30/12/2022 12:59

Oopsiedaisyy · 30/12/2022 12:58

Say "hi, sorry, I thought I had signed up for the gf package , but I only seem to be getting fwb level package? I want to unsubscribe please"

This

ButterflyOil · 30/12/2022 12:59

You’ve only had sex in the front room or outdoors??! Not even in one of your bedrooms?

That is pretty odd.

Original poster
Hellsfenton · 30/12/2022 13:03

Yeah sex is always front room or in the summer it was outside but no overnight stays

OP posts:
RiverSkater · 30/12/2022 13:04

Hellsfenton · 30/12/2022 12:53

Yes totally shagged but really only in the front room or we have been outdoor to do so......but never overnight stay in either of our houses 😔

If you were teenagers I'd understand but you are adults! 😞

This isn't a relationship. He is too emeshed with his ex.

Please dump him.

Glindara · 30/12/2022 13:12

RiverSkater · 30/12/2022 13:04

If you were teenagers I'd understand but you are adults! 😞

This isn't a relationship. He is too emeshed with his ex.

Please dump him.

Show quote history

Yes. This.

Why did the relationship fail? Was it his choice?

Odd that you have been introduced to her IMHO - when your relationship / situationship has not evolved.

Is he trying to win her back by making her jealous?

Newwardrobe · 30/12/2022 13:14

Hellsfenton · 30/12/2022 13:03

Yeah sex is always front room or in the summer it was outside but no overnight stays

So no nice romantic cuddling then ? He is just using you for sex .

Madeyoulook · 30/12/2022 13:17

That’s a very weird set up. Most new couples can’t wait to stay the night with each other and you haven’t done it once in a year!

Madeyoulook · 30/12/2022 13:18

Also letting you down just before your do says it all. That is really disrespectful and it sounds like he wasn’t bothered he cancelled on you and he gave you a ridiculous excuse.

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 30/12/2022 13:21

Flogging
A
Dead
Horse.
He is happy with his life as it is.
Even you don't spur him on to change it.
So change yours and get rid...

imalreadygone · 30/12/2022 13:21

Hellsfenton · 30/12/2022 12:20

He couldn't find anything to wear was his reason 🙄 also had the discussion about where he wants this to go and his reply was just where relationships go! And yes possibly incompatable in what we want but then he needs to tell me cause I've asked many times.

He's telling you loud and clear he's not taking this seriously.

Leave him don't wait around. Life is too short.

Doyoumind · 30/12/2022 13:24

This isn't a real relationship. End it. But that's because of the no overnights thing.

It's OK for him to prioritise time with his child and surely you can't expect to be invited to events with his child's mother's family? It doesn't matter if you get on; you're not family.

TheCatterall · 30/12/2022 13:25

You are not in a relationship.

You are an available person and companion for when he hasn’t got a better offer.

good enough to have sex with but not enough to hang around and spend overnight time with - that would be making me feel cheap and like he’s just there for sex.

hes not emotionally invested in this relationship. He’s just bumbling along until you dump him and then onto the next one.

Nanny0gg · 30/12/2022 13:28

Hellsfenton · 30/12/2022 12:20

He couldn't find anything to wear was his reason 🙄 also had the discussion about where he wants this to go and his reply was just where relationships go! And yes possibly incompatable in what we want but then he needs to tell me cause I've asked many times.

He doesn't need to tell you anything!

You need to tell him!

This isn't what you want. He's treating you badly.
Get rid of him!

CambsAlways · 30/12/2022 13:28

Yes he’s massively taking the piss, he’s n it into you op throw him back

CambsAlways · 30/12/2022 13:28

Not

Nanny0gg · 30/12/2022 13:29

Hellsfenton · 30/12/2022 13:03

Yeah sex is always front room or in the summer it was outside but no overnight stays

OFGS!

Can't you see what he's doing? Why have you put up with it?

imalreadygone · 30/12/2022 13:35

Hellsfenton · 30/12/2022 13:03

Yeah sex is always front room or in the summer it was outside but no overnight stays

Is she even really an ex?
It sounds like you're a bit on the side. I'm so sorry I know that might hurt to realise.