Is saying this cruel or being honest?

[Onmyownagain1]

After half a decade relationship, if a man in his late 40s told you "I always knew you were more into me than I was into you and I don't love you", what would you think? He's my ex now as he discarded me.

He stayed because it was easy.

Yes, no contact all the way. He sounds selfish and arrogant.

I'm not sure what he felt or says he felt matters as much as you might think OP. Realistically we never usually get to know people's private thoughts and feelings do we? All we have is what they choose to share (which may or may not be genuine) and how they treat us, and what we can extrapolate from that.
As anyone who has been told by an ex that they'll 'love them forever' knows, expression of feelings counts for little other than at best a snapshot of their state of mind at that time.
If in the 5 years you were together he acted in a committed, loving, caring way, than thats more of a barometer of his feelings than an unkind comment at the end of the relationship. Why he chose to make it, who knows? Anger, justification for leaving...Whatever, it shouldn't define your relationship. His behaviour should.

I think it is an arsehole of man's way of pathetically trying to get the upper hand in that situation and making himself seem superior and absolve himself of any guilt of ending the relationship.

You'd be surprised at the amount of idiots who come out with the "I never loved you/was that into anyway" line,he's rewritten your relationship history to suit his own agenda.

Plenty of people stay in relationships when they're not head over heels in love. It could be convenience, or got comfortable, or were happy in that relationship for that stage in life and then their priorities changed. It doesn't make it right, but it doesn't surprise me someone might spend 5 years in an ok relationship without being in love.

My gut instinct is he's been very cruel by saying this to you, but then you asked how he felt towards you and he's been honest.

Either way you're not compatible with each other and you deserve a reciprocal relationship with someone who has similar outlook to you.

Thanks for all the responses. Hopefully I'll be able to get to a stage again where I can trust a man to be honest about his feelings, but I'm not sure I will.

It's yourself you have to trust. Trust your instincts, and trust yourself to have your back if someone is dishonest. You can never 100% trust anybody, so you need to trust you to take care of you. Once you have that sorted out, men can come and go; you'll know you'll be ok, so the pressure is off the relationship.

Just a little update. I hadn't seen him since breakup but I bumped into him yesterday at a funeral. Milling about outside afterwards, there was no sign of any acknowledgment from him. I didn't want to ignore, or to engage in chitchat after spending years with him, so just said hi and continued walking. He replied with a sheepish hi.

I actually felt strong, was kind of dreading seeing him for the first time. I've been speaking to a counsellor who has helped me see many red flags I ignored, etc. So although I was devastated at the time, I've made progress! Advice here helped a lot also.

Cool!