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Original poster

Not spent Christmas with him

49 replies

Vickerygood · 26/12/2022 22:53

My boyfriend has 2 teenage daughters aged 16 and 17. I accepted this when we met. He saw them Christmas Day and one of them stopped over for Boxing Day. He said he would video call me on Boxing Day night. About 8pm on Boxing Day night he said his daughter is stopping over and he isn't free till Wednesday 28th December. He has said he won't video call with his daughters which is fair enough but tonight I just felt cast aside. So in effect I last saw him on Christmas Eve morning and have not spent Christmas with him and just a 20 minute video call on Christmas morning. It just feels a bit hurtful.

OP posts:
ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 26/12/2022 22:54

You will have to get over it OP. He is looking after his daughters which is the right thing to do. It's not being done to hurt you at all.

Opentooffers · 26/12/2022 23:03

So you are not going to see your BF for a total of 4 days!! How will you live - why are you so hung up on someone that you can't be independent from them for such a short time? You perhaps need more going on in your own life if it affects you that much.

Azandme · 26/12/2022 23:05

This is part of what you say you "accepted"...

Eatentoomanyroses · 26/12/2022 23:11

Even men with kids, make it happen somehow. If they’re very interested in you they’ll try and make you feel special in other ways. When I was dating my husband who had kids, he arranged for a Christmas weekend away a few days before Christmas Day and gave me his gifts. Boxing Day he came to get me and did a beautiful meal. Yours doesn’t sound like he’s trying very hard. He could have nipped out for a walk or something and called. Sounds like he’s hiding behind the kids to put minimal effort in.

Original poster
Vickerygood · 26/12/2022 23:12

Opentooffers · 26/12/2022 23:03

So you are not going to see your BF for a total of 4 days!! How will you live - why are you so hung up on someone that you can't be independent from them for such a short time? You perhaps need more going on in your own life if it affects you that much.

It is just a shame he did not want to spend Christmas together and I realise now it will be like this every Christmas.

OP posts:
candycane10 · 26/12/2022 23:13

How long have you been together?

NewBootsAndRanty · 26/12/2022 23:14

candycane10 · 26/12/2022 23:13

How long have you been together?

Less than two Christmases?

Original poster
Vickerygood · 26/12/2022 23:15

candycane10 · 26/12/2022 23:13

How long have you been together?

6 months

OP posts:
SuperHandss · 26/12/2022 23:15

It’s been 48 hours

Fireflygal · 26/12/2022 23:16

Are you much younger than him?

He might have his daughters EOY so next year he could be free however I think him putting his daughters first is admirable but he could have called you at some stage. Have you been messaging?

Fireflygal · 26/12/2022 23:17

6 months? That's really early days...do you have much experience of dating?

Dartmoorcheffy · 26/12/2022 23:17

Of course it won't be like that forever. 5 months is very early into a relationship. His daughters are almost adults too. If you are still together next year it will probably be very different.

Original poster
Vickerygood · 26/12/2022 23:23

Fireflygal · 26/12/2022 23:16

Are you much younger than him?

He might have his daughters EOY so next year he could be free however I think him putting his daughters first is admirable but he could have called you at some stage. Have you been messaging?

It's just the odd message but would have been nice to hear his voice even if it was for a few minutes.

OP posts:
BackOnTheBandWagon · 26/12/2022 23:25

But you spoke to him yesterday? Seriously OP, you need to chill out

BackOnTheBandWagon · 26/12/2022 23:26

Also, spending Christmas with someone you've only been dating for six months would be fairly overkill, even if they didn't have kids

pictoosh · 26/12/2022 23:27

Simmer down.

minticecreamisjustok · 26/12/2022 23:30

It's been 6 months, just relax, if you had said 2 years then a bit different! He's probably not ready to tell his daughters that he's in a relationship yet and I get that.

zonky · 26/12/2022 23:47

What did you for Christmas before you met him?

MadMadMadamMim · 26/12/2022 23:47

It's far too soon to expect him to spend Christmas with you when he is a father having his DDs for Christmas Day and Boxing Day.

Put yourself in their place. It would have ruined their Christmas and made them feel in the way if Dad had been phoning his girlfriend. Teens feel things quite acutely - they would have wondered if he'd rather have been with you.

You are a very new addition to the scene, and who knows if the relationship will work. But it won't if you push for more attention when he is with his children.

bizzywiththefizzy · 26/12/2022 23:49

I bet you are sitting there just waiting for him to get in touch and jump to attention too , it's not a good look . What did you do last Christmas ?
If you have not arranged something for the next few days then do .

monsteramunch · 26/12/2022 23:57

You've been together six months.

You haven't spoken much at all for 48 hours, on the days probably he has the most quality time with his kids in the se se of them being special days they look forward to all year.

I don't think personally that in a secure, healthy relationship this would be an issue.

pumpkinsareshortlived · 26/12/2022 23:57

Really OP, are you always this needy?Try thinking about all those armed service wives who don't see their partner/ husbands for months at a time and just get a grip.

CorrodedCoffin · 27/12/2022 00:08

It won’t “always be like this”. You’ve been together 6 months (probably considered way too early by many to be spending Christmas together, especially when there’s kids involved) and they’re very nearly adults - your partner is probably trying to make the most of his time with them whilst they’re still teens - in just a few short years they could be off doing their own thing for Christmas, and in an even shorter time frame, provided you guys are still together, you could be spending Christmas all together. Don’t get too ahead of yourself, and maybe try getting to know his kids a bit better if you can - failing that, focus on fun things you can do as a couple in the new year.

Original poster
Vickerygood · 27/12/2022 00:18

Yet he has time to approve member requests and posts on a Facebook group he runs.

OP posts:
NewBootsAndRanty · 27/12/2022 00:22

Really??