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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ex gave me an ultimatum

31 replies

BizarreOclock · 25/12/2022 20:04

I split up with my ex 2 months ago, last mutual interaction (texts) we had was 5 weeks ago. It was pretty toxic towards the end. The past few months he has constantly compare me to his ex (his DD18s mum) and try to make me jealous, especially now we have broken up. It didn't affect me and in the end I'd had enough and ended it, also blocked his number.

Since then he's sent frequent messages and voicemails ranging from Abusive to trying to make me jealous (persuader tactic, i know) & begging for me back. He would even turn up at my door several times a day but wouldn't let him in.

Fast forward to Today (specifically) he has left me several voicemails of him crying, shouting, etc telling me he loves me, just wants to spend Christmas with me blah blah...

About an hour ago he sent me an ultimatum stating... "you have a fucking choice, you either take me as I am right now and spend today with me or I go see my daughter and fuck my c**t of an ex, you'll regret it not me"

I don't really know why I'm posting, maybe for a rant, because i dont really care if he goes back to her, I just want to be left alone. I'm trying to move on with my life, attend courses, work etc and its Christmas frigging day!! I really don't need this shit for the rest of my life.

OP posts:
StreamingCervix · 25/12/2022 20:07

Urgh, he’s just made it a lot easier to be glad of the decision you’ve made in walking away.

salemsongbird · 25/12/2022 20:10

I would forward that message right to the ex! 😂
But seriously, cut and run.

FurAndFeathers · 25/12/2022 20:11

Tell him to stop contacting you or you’ll call the police and have him done for stalking/harassment.
he sounds unhinged

Ofcourseshecan · 25/12/2022 20:13

You’re on the right track, OP. If you let yourself be moved by his pleading, you’d be pulled right back into all the crap you’ve rightly walked away from. Keep on ignoring him, and he’ll eventually give up. Best wishes for next Christmas!

Original poster
BizarreOclock · 25/12/2022 20:13

@salemsongbird I would if I had any ounce of bothered in me, but it would only lead to the assumptions that I'm bitter when I'm not even close😅

OP posts:
GoT1904 · 25/12/2022 20:22

Oh my god you are soooooo well rid!!! What a nasty, manipulative prick.

Georgeskitchen · 25/12/2022 20:24

God he sounds awful. Just block the scrote

Original poster
BizarreOclock · 25/12/2022 20:28

@Georgeskitchen he is blocked but for some reason he can still leave me voicemails and until I begin to listen the notification annoyingly stays on my phone.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 25/12/2022 20:28

Delightful fellow. Can't think why you split up with him. Ah well, I expect the ex will be thrilled to have him back. (Wonder if she gets any say in his romantic plan?)

pictoosh · 25/12/2022 20:28

What an absolute arsehole.

Aquamarine1029 · 25/12/2022 20:30

Change your number and never, ever, think of him again. What an absolute loser.

Celerylover · 25/12/2022 20:30

Mate. He stinks of desperation

I'd just reply with an 👍🏻 and block him

Ackity · 25/12/2022 20:41

Absolutely change your number. That’ll really drive him round the twist.

Jesusmaryjosephandtheweedon · 25/12/2022 20:55

Do not reply. If you do he will take it as a sign that you have interest. Just grey rock. Not an ounce of communication. Does his poor ex have no say in whether she wants to have sex with him? Or if he is so sure she would then he has probably been with her while you are together. Sounds like you are well rid of this toxic, abusive, disgusting man.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/12/2022 21:03

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He thinks you'd care?

Keep the messages as evidence and report him for harassment. Call the police if he turns up again. And change for phone number.

k1233 · 25/12/2022 21:25

You don't have to listen to his messages. If you need to play before you delete them, just mute your volume, let the message run through and then delete without ever hearing a word he said.

Whatineed · 25/12/2022 21:42

Celerylover · 25/12/2022 20:30

Mate. He stinks of desperation

I'd just reply with an 👍🏻 and block him

Yep, there's better than a cheery thumbs up and no other response.

Theskyoutsideisblue · 25/12/2022 21:44

Well that’s really going to make you go running….in the totally opposite direction

Pineappleskies · 25/12/2022 21:45

That's the thing with these types....he can't see how unlovable he is and can't believe his tricks don't work.

Doubt the ex wants him either.

He'll be having a shit day. Good.

2chocolateoranges · 25/12/2022 21:56

I’d message him back telling him to enjoy his day! Then block him.

you are well rid!

StClare101 · 25/12/2022 22:01

i don’t see how someone who is blocked can still leave you voicemails?

JoyBeorge · 25/12/2022 22:25

StClare101 · 25/12/2022 22:01

i don’t see how someone who is blocked can still leave you voicemails?

They can on iPhone for so e reason. People I blocked could still leave voicemail. I didn't think they could either.

purpledalmation · 25/12/2022 22:53

FurAndFeathers · 25/12/2022 20:11

Tell him to stop contacting you or you’ll call the police and have him done for stalking/harassment.
he sounds unhinged

Do this

MadeForThis · 25/12/2022 22:57

If you don't need your voicemail just switch it off for a while.

Soubriquet · 25/12/2022 22:57

I can’t quite understand how he thinks this is such a good deal?

I mean, it comes down to, you fuck him or he goes and fucks his ex.

Well, you don’t want him, so that’s easy and from the sounds of his behaviour, she won’t want him either.

He will soon discover he really isn’t a prize