Your 'that' moment.....

[SameScriptDifferentCast]

I've stayed up late to catch up on one of my programmes. I nipped up to go to the loo and I can hear all three of my children's gentle breathing/snoring.
I can hear my husbands less gentle snoring!
And I realise that I've changed my future. I've created something better than what I had. My kids have all gone to sleep excited about tomorrow rather than anxious about what family row it will cause.
They have no bad memories of Christmas. They don't worry just in case an argument might happen.
I don't often feel like I'm doing a good job but right now I feel like I have broken the cycle.
I feel like we should celebrate the moments where we recognise that we have broken the cycle.

What a lovely post. Thank you for sharing

I love this.

Ah thank you both. I didn't think anyone would get it so it is really nice to see two who did c

Lovely to read, enjoy the rewards of all your hard work -I am sure it hasn’t always been easy. Happy Christmas xx

This is beautiful. We do need to stop and take in these moments OP. That realization that you made a change for the better. I can hear the snoring and I'm bathing in the good feeling too, vicariously 😊
It's so simple, it's love, but it's also a thousand small steps of conscious parenting.

That is beautiful. Doing better than what we had is the aim, and it is the ones that achieve this that are the absolute heroes of our community in my opinion! Well done you! And have an amazing Christmas and keep appreciating your beautiful family!

Your wonderful post has also given me a bit of a glow.

Thank you for sharing.

I haven't done better but I've realised that I have good memories and so does my Dd. Thank you.

Enjoy these moments when they come OP. I wish you and your family a lovely Christmas.

The last couple of days I’ve felt the same.

Im in a new relationship of a year that will eventually hopefully lead to a blended family. Its been just myself and my son his whole life.

Thursday we all went out for a Christmassy day and the kids all playing together just melted my heart. I got some beautiful photos and looking back at them fills me with so much absolute love. My partner is a widower so I’m even more grateful that they have allowed us into their lives.

I got a picture of my new man helping my son down off a tall viewing point and it’s a Live Photo. Playing it like a video and seeing the care in his eyes and how comfortable my son is with him, just made me realise how lucky we are and how completely different my life is now to either when I was with my toxic ex.

I feel incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to offer my son the best life I can provide.

Well done OP. I know what you mean.

My ds is peacefully asleep down the hall. He's safe, happy and well fed. It's all worth while 😊

This is lovely. Well done for creating a safe and happy home for your kids OP. Merry Christmas to you all.

This resonates with me. I'm experiencing the exact same thing as we speak. We're all in the superking snuggled up with a bad cold and I can't sleep but I'm still so happy to hear the cacophony 😅

My youngest DS is struggling a bit this week with all the excitement and we've had major tantrums at bedtime and he's been taking hours to get to sleep leading to very frazzled parents who are fast running out of time to get everything ready for the big day. But even then (when it's over!) I just think about how it's bloody brilliant that he feels safe enough with us to be such a pain in the arse and vent all his emotions.

It's very healing for DH and I to know that our kids have all the security and love in the world and that our house is a safe place.

It's only been a year! The best life is... finding another man to fill the "spot"?

@xfan what do you mean by that?

Wow. That brought me to tears. I firmly believe it is easier to.repeat what you have experienced than break the link in the chain. Enjoy this. Happy Christmas

Ohhh. I’ve always measured how I’m doing compared to my parents financially. And I’m doing less well.

But you are absolutely right. My children are not on edge, wondering if there will be an argument (probably) and if it will be recoverable from on the day (sometimes, but one Christmas we definitely ate Christmas dinner without him).

The moment for me was when DH said "don't worry about what anyone else thinks, remember what I think. And I think you are enough".

I have spent all my life trying to be enough.

I know exactly how you feel OP, my childhood was awful, Heroin addict mother, no father in the picture, me and siblings going to bed is a cold dirty house on empty stomachs and Father Christmas never visited our house, throw in some abuse and witnessing domestic violence for good measure, got placed into foster care at 13 and I turned my life around, went to uni, good job nice car and after lots of building work we now live in a big family home with lots of space, and I'm getting married next year.
My 2 sons go to sleep in their own rooms which are clean and have bedding and carpets and everything they would need to grow up comfortably, they get taken to nice places in nice cars and don't have to worry about looking dirty at school or going on school trips, they don't have to worry about what's for tea, they get to grow up safe and happy, and every night before I go to sleep I go up to them and watch them while they sleep and this makes me so happy so see them so peaceful, to break the cycle is definitely my biggest achievement I think.

Such a lovely thread. Resonates with me too 🥰 well done op on breaking the cycle, it's not easy

@xfan No amount of miserable fun sponges are going to take the glow off me this Christmas.
I am very happy after years single whilst my son was small. Now I’m content and that makes me a much better parent.

Damn you OP @SameScriptDifferentCast , it's Xmas Eve and you've made me cry!

... but in a good way.

Christ, I'm so sorry you went through all that. Well done on changing things so that your sons don't experience what you did. X

@BrewandBiscuit no idea what they were on about. Miserable bastards. Well I'm happy for you anyway!