Your 'that' moment.....

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I've stayed up late to catch up on one of my programmes. I nipped up to go to the loo and I can hear all three of my children's gentle breathing/snoring.
I can hear my husbands less gentle snoring!
And I realise that I've changed my future. I've created something better than what I had. My kids have all gone to sleep excited about tomorrow rather than anxious about what family row it will cause.
They have no bad memories of Christmas. They don't worry just in case an argument might happen.
I don't often feel like I'm doing a good job but right now I feel like I have broken the cycle.
I feel like we should celebrate the moments where we recognise that we have broken the cycle.

Ooops! Sorry 🙈

My Dh is ace too. Took him a while to see what they were all like but when I did he was 100% on my side.
Your Dh sounds lovely x

You're doing a brilliant job. They may have had more money but it didn't make them more happy!

100%

Thank you everyone for your lovely replies (except that one idiot!)
Hope you all have a lovely Christmas x

Relatable in a way

well done OP. Be very proud of yourself. I’m proud of you and anyone who breaks a cycle x

Thank you, what a lovely thing to say. Merry Christmas x

@Lorddenning1 you are incredible. My two cousins came to our family from similar separate homes, treated as drug runners, not fed etc. They now have families of their own and seeing them happy and fulfilled knowing the shitty birth homes they came from is the best gift.

OP I don’t know you but I’m proud you took courage and broke the cycle. It is never easy but god it’s worth it.

Thank you for starting this thread, op. I have been having similar feelings these past couple of days, and I'm so grateful to be in a position to provide peace and love for my family all throughout the year. Happy Christmas! 🎄❤️💚

Today has been lovely.
The kids all loved what they got. Both teens cried when they saw their main presents.
Dh and I have had a few cuddles and smiles over their heads and murmurs about them all.
Hope everyone has had a nice day. ❤️❤️

I had one of those moments earlier. It was such a trivial moment. My husband and I were in the kitchen, trying to figure out the new slush puppie maker we bought the kids. Just laughing and joking and teasing, and I thought how much I truly like him as a person, and how he is my absolute best friend.
I grew up with parents who despised each other and it made my childhood very uncomfortable.
I know it's insufferably cheesy, but I do genuinely feel very blessed.

@SilverOtter that's so lovely. I still can't quite believe that my Dh loves me so much! It's a good feeling isn't it? X

Yes you have!! Enjoy! X

You are incredible, well done for breaking the cycle. Your children are so lucky to have you.

@Lorddenning1 there are really no words. I work with young people who have been in care, positive outcomes are so rare - I don’t think people understand how difficult it is to break the cycle and improve their lives with no family support. I take my hat off to you and wish you a lifetime of peace and happiness.

Well done op.

It is indeed! I'm glad you have a lovely husband too x

That’s great, op. This is what mumsnet tries its hardest to do for children, to break that cycle. If it was allowed id be linking this thread to the many, many sad threads we have had this weekend where the cycle continues.

I've not necessarily had a 'that' moment. But I do try to make a conscious effort to remind myself that I've broken the link in familial trauma for the sake of my children and they'll never have to carry the same problems that my brother and I had to carry growing up. I'm divorced, but my ex husband is an amazing father and his parents are amazing grandparents. Whilst I can't provide decent grandparents for them on my side, I am always grateful for them.

Yes, yes, yes… our Christmas is so calm compared to the house I grew up in. A massive clash of expectations which caused huge rows between parents, and my sister and I silently crying. My husband and I are aligned in a less is more approach, and creating a calm, loving atmosphere for our daughter. Can relate x

My Mum broke the cycle for me. She is 80 now and I tell her all the time what a wonderful childhood she gave us. Of course there were ups and downs but we were so loved and cared for.
So much respect for all of you that are doing this for your children. My sister and I are good parents, and the cycle has been well and truly broken. Thank you all ❤️

Ahh, lovely OP. And I could have written it myself. I may not have always been the perfect wife and mother but I sure as hell am making sure that my children never go through what I did as a child. Even when I’ve been less than perfect there’s not a single day my children haven’t known they are loved. And I had a lovely cuddle and chat midday yesterday with DH about all the challenges we’ve had over the years and how lucky we are to have each other and such lovely DDs.
Breaking the cycle is my proudest achievement, and hopefully yours to OP. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

Well done. That sounds like you've really changed your future. Xxx

You’re doing a fantastic job, you’ve broken the cycle for your children and they get to grow up in a loving, peaceful home.

Wishing you nothing but happiness for the future x