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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

We are suffering from a nasty cold. DH has taken to his bed!!

35 replies

Snapdragon123 · 22/12/2022 20:13

Hi is anyone else in a similar situation to me!

We have all been suffering from this nasty cold/temperature/shivering general feeling awful. DH has decided that he has got it worse than everyone else. He has been lying in bed watching what looks like films on his phone. Requesting light refreshments as he is so unwell he can’t possibly make himself a drink and snack,

Today I have been to work. My DS, teenager stayed at home to look after DH.

I was really annoyed when I returned home. DH is still in bed. DS is also not too well. I brought a take away for DS and myself as DH didn’t want any when I asked.

DH asked where’s mine as I was tucking in my food. I reminded him he didn’t want any! Ah yes he responded. Then he called DS lazy as he had told him to go to the shop and get some lemonade as he needed it. I reminded him that DS is unwell too.

Does anyone else’s partner have the lurgy worse than everyone else.

OP posts:
WingBingo · 22/12/2022 20:19

God yes.

has the dressing gown of doom come out yet?

Stickmansmum · 22/12/2022 20:22

He doesn’t sound like a very nice person. My DH is usually ‘so very sick’ too but wouldn’t put himself ahead of everyone while feeling very sorry for himself.

MyMilkshakeScaresAllTheBoys · 22/12/2022 20:29

Mine does what I call "performative vomiting." 🤬

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 22/12/2022 20:32

Suggest he orders (and pays) for what he wants on Deliveroo.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 22/12/2022 20:45

My DH started with it last week. He lay on the sofa and went to bed early. I spent all weekend in bed with it as he got better. Now he feels rough again and asked if we minded him going to bed. If you're ill you're ill.

Luana1 · 22/12/2022 20:45

My DH can get pretty miserable when sick, but he would never expect other members of the household to become his slaves. Your DH sounds like a selfish oaf, particularly as his son is not well either. I think that kind of behaviour would give me 'the ick' for sure.

Tonysopranosghost · 22/12/2022 20:46

Just smother him with a pillow.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 22/12/2022 20:46

To add though he shouldn't be ordering everyone around saying DS is lazy

Afterfire · 22/12/2022 20:47

Wow he sounds charming.

Thepossibility · 22/12/2022 20:47

Mine does feel particularly sorry for himself when ill, but yours sounds like an arsehole.

WallaceinAnderland · 22/12/2022 20:48

No DH usually doses up and gets on with it like an adult. Yours is having a laugh OP.

Original poster
Snapdragon123 · 22/12/2022 20:52

That’s true “if you’re ill you’re ill’ but there is also being selfish! We all have colds. We are all sick. However calling a sick child lazy for not being able to get to shop is unacceptable.

OP posts:
QueenofLouisiana · 22/12/2022 20:53

Ah yes. Mine is so ill he can’t possibly move- until I announced I was popping out to the local village for a wander. Then he thought maybe the fresh air would help…
Meanwhile, he’s amazed that I and sleeping for two hours every afternoon, he has no idea I was so tired. Backstory: I am 15 months into long covid: have tachycardia, breathless and dizzy spells daily.

RandomMess · 22/12/2022 20:55

I honestly don't understand why people tolerate partners that behave in such a selfish way Angry

Cas112 · 22/12/2022 20:59

Tonysopranosghost · 22/12/2022 20:46

Just smother him with a pillow.

😂

shard5 · 22/12/2022 21:33

@RandomMess the behaviour creeps up slowly, my DH never used to be like this but now when he's got even a sniffle he'll call in sick and bugger off to bed for a few days, doesn't matter what else is going on.
It's a turn off I'll tell you that!

Original poster
Snapdragon123 · 22/12/2022 22:14

Thank you for all for responding. It’s a comfort to know that I am not alone. I suspect my DH has this nasty cold that is going around. However he will have man flu.

@shard5 you are quite right in saying that DH behaviour has crept up over time. It always seems to happen at a vulnerable moment. On this occasion it’s near Christmas, it’s a busy time for me at work and I feel overwhelmed with everything else going on.

I have a cold too but I don’t have the luxury of residing in bed. Unfortunately, like most of you out there I just have to care on. This evening was the straw that broke the camels back.

OP posts:
TabithaTittlemouse · 22/12/2022 22:18

Yep! Same here tonight! I’ve just got home and Dh is in bed. Me and dc are all ill too but apparently not as bad as him.
Dc have been looking after the dog all day.

I’m having a lie in tomorrow (day off) whether he likes it or not.

toomuchlaundry · 22/12/2022 22:21

I’ve had a really bad virus and had to spend quite a few days in bed. There is no way I would have coped going into work. And no-one at work would have thanked me for coming in

Original poster
Snapdragon123 · 22/12/2022 22:32

@toomuchlaundry sorry to hear that you are unwell. I hope you recover soon. I work alone in an office that only I use. I have disinfected all contact points. I also have a home and child to look after. Unfortunately I don’t qualify for sick pay at the moment. Therefore I couldn’t afford to take the day off.
I believe that I have done my best in this situation.

DH is still in bed

Unfortunately there is always someone who will belittle you for trying your hardest.

OP posts:
gannett · 22/12/2022 22:37

I was in bed all last weekend with a nasty cold/fever and I'm so thankful I have a partner who looked after me, who brought me medicine and hot drinks and snacks and comfort. DP didn't suggest I was putting it on, didn't demand I get up to do chores that can always wait another day, didn't mock me for wearing my dressing gown (what is with this place and someone posting "dressing gown of doom" as though it's a clever observation...), didn't call my coughing and sneezing "performative".

I don't get people who martyr themselves when they're ill. If you're sick you're sick. The chores are not more important.

Ripley1977 · 22/12/2022 22:38

Sounds like attention seeking behaviour to me not illness, everyone else in the family is plowing on like heroes at this busy time and he's flouncing around ordering everyone about when he should get off his lazy arse and be part of the family team. Ignore him and enjoy your takeaway, surely he's "much too ill to eat" anyway :)

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/12/2022 22:42

Did your son stay off school?

gamerchick · 22/12/2022 22:45

gannett · 22/12/2022 22:37

I was in bed all last weekend with a nasty cold/fever and I'm so thankful I have a partner who looked after me, who brought me medicine and hot drinks and snacks and comfort. DP didn't suggest I was putting it on, didn't demand I get up to do chores that can always wait another day, didn't mock me for wearing my dressing gown (what is with this place and someone posting "dressing gown of doom" as though it's a clever observation...), didn't call my coughing and sneezing "performative".

I don't get people who martyr themselves when they're ill. If you're sick you're sick. The chores are not more important.

Do you one up your partner and child when they are also ill. Take to your bed and order them around? Berate them when they didn't drag their also poorly arse to the shop?

Original poster
Snapdragon123 · 22/12/2022 22:48

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz the last semester finished 9th December. Yes DS is at home.

I did say in my first comment that DS stayed at home to look after DH despite being unwell himself

OP posts:
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