We are suffering from a nasty cold. DH has taken to his bed!!

[Snapdragon123]

Hi is anyone else in a similar situation to me!

We have all been suffering from this nasty cold/temperature/shivering general feeling awful. DH has decided that he has got it worse than everyone else. He has been lying in bed watching what looks like films on his phone. Requesting light refreshments as he is so unwell he can’t possibly make himself a drink and snack,

Today I have been to work. My DS, teenager stayed at home to look after DH.

I was really annoyed when I returned home. DH is still in bed. DS is also not too well. I brought a take away for DS and myself as DH didn’t want any when I asked.

DH asked where’s mine as I was tucking in my food. I reminded him he didn’t want any! Ah yes he responded. Then he called DS lazy as he had told him to go to the shop and get some lemonade as he needed it. I reminded him that DS is unwell too.

Does anyone else’s partner have the lurgy worse than everyone else.

Quite a big difference between being genuinely sick. Remaining in bed with someone not sick looking after you.

And being sicker than everyone else because you basically have the cold everyone else has in the household. Expecting equally sick people to wait on you hand and foot.

He’s a twat.

DH does the man flu thing plus the performance Old man coughing thing, which gives me the ick big style 🤮 turns my stomach.

Yep - same here OP. At least mine knows that no-one is going to be bringing him anything in bed.

If my dh called our son lazy when he'd stayed home to look after him all day, he would be left with zero doubt on my feelings on that score and would experience a withdrawal of family support privelages until he corrected his shitty attitude.

My husband is generally amazing and I’m very lucky to have a man like him. However, he’s utterly fucking vile when he’s ill. He had the same cold I had a few weeks ago and you’d honestly think he’s on deaths door. I can’t bare to be around him when he’s like this. I actually hate him 🤣

I wouldn't love it, and I wouldn't be bringing him anything in bed.

But there is a definite inconsistency on Mumsnet in terms of illness behaviour. In the last week I've seen numerous posts saying "I have the worst bug ever. This is the first day I can get out if bed. Is it OK for me to cancel inviting family for Christmas day?", and everyone rushes to say "Of course it's ok, you need to just snuggle up on the sofa and rest." Essentially encouraging illness behaviour in women but not men.

It's totally unreasonable of him to expected your sick son to go to the shops.

But if you have fever, chill and aches you probably have flu not a cold. It's only flubif you feel like you are dying is a myth. You all need to rest or you will find you get much worse. Women sometimes work through mild flu thinking it's 'just a cold' then end up with chest infections. That's not going to help you or your family either.

I'm very lucky. My DH is obviously feeling like crap but he doesn't ever moan or expect waiting on. He works alone outside and is out in the rain atm and he'll do his damnest not to let it ruin Christmas bless him.

@TheYearOfSmallThings the second half of your post regarding colds and flu. I agree with you regarding resting. However expecting others to wait on you and expect meals to be served to you in bed and then turning it away as you don’t feel like it. Then asking where his takeaway was when he clearly refused it. Is rather annoying.

I have also been reading posts when some poor woman has been really sick in bed and is likely still to be weak asking to cancel family Christmas meals. I totally agree that she should cancel. It’s the woman who is likely to be preparing the meal. Looking after children and all the other jobs that need doing. Plus avoiding passing on anything on to a vulnerable person.

Not a current partner. But my ex - DDs dad. We all got the flu going round, I had DD and we were both rotten, broken sleep etc but I thought, ah ex has her a night soon so I can catch a bit of sleep. Nope! He was TOO ILL to parent. He's done this before specifically with covid where he had it and dropped DD at my door unannounced, passed it to me via her, and then went AWOL to recover. Complete arsehole