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Original poster

He said another womans name during sex

50 replies

WinterEthos · 21/12/2022 07:47

Should I be concerned about this?

I was giving him oral sex last night and he was really getting into it, and he said "Oh my God, Samantha!" then corrected himself like "Samantha?! What the fuck?!". I didn't think anything of it at the time and just said "Err... excuse me??" pretending to be offended. We then both just laughed and carried on.

It wasn't until after he left though that I got to thinking about it and jumped on social media trying to find if he works with a Samantha or not. Couldn't find anything.

I don't know whether I should be concerned about this or not? I don't feel massively worried but obviously still thinking about it enough to post! I did have a moment once where I had to catch myself before I said my ex's name. I certainly wasn't thinking about having sex with him, so I don't know why it nearly came out. Obviously though I have been intimate with my ex in a past life, but as far as I know, there has been no Samanthas in his dating history. It's not his ex wife's name and he was married to her for a long time.

Has anyone else experienced this where they or their partner has said the wrong name during intimacy?

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 21/12/2022 07:58

How long are you together?
If its a new relationship I would laugh it off, together a while? Nah something is fishy

strawberry2017 · 21/12/2022 08:01

Tbh I don't think your going to stop thinking about who Samantha is.

growgrowinggrown · 21/12/2022 08:02

How long have you been together? If its a fairly new relationship then I'd say there is a Samantha in his not too distant past and it was a slip of the tongue. He's hardly going to admit it now though knowing it will upset you.
I'd put it down to just one of those unfortunate things that can happen and try and laugh it off.

If it's a more established relationship I'd be a little more miffed about it.

DuncanBiscuits · 21/12/2022 08:02

Samantha Fox? Samantha off Sex and the City? Samantha the with from Bewitched?

How old is he?

😀

ItsACrater · 21/12/2022 08:04

I thought Bewitched too @DuncanBiscuits 😂

helford · 21/12/2022 08:05

If its a fairly new relationship then I'd say there is a Samantha in his not too distant past and it was a slip of the tongue

Made me laugh on this cold and dreary morning, considering the OP - thankyou!

Original poster
WinterEthos · 21/12/2022 08:06

ZekeZeke · 21/12/2022 07:58

How long are you together?
If its a new relationship I would laugh it off, together a while? Nah something is fishy

It's been 3 years but it's very casual. Long distance, we don't live together. We see each other as and when we can. There is love and affection there and the expectation of being exclusive.

OP posts:
Original poster
WinterEthos · 21/12/2022 08:07

helford · 21/12/2022 08:05

If its a fairly new relationship then I'd say there is a Samantha in his not too distant past and it was a slip of the tongue

Made me laugh on this cold and dreary morning, considering the OP - thankyou!

Ha! Yes, that's one way to put it Grin

OP posts:
ButterflyOil · 21/12/2022 08:14

If it’s casual and long distance can you really be sure it is exclusive though?? Are you happy with the relationship generally?

Original poster
WinterEthos · 21/12/2022 08:17

ButterflyOil · 21/12/2022 08:14

If it’s casual and long distance can you really be sure it is exclusive though?? Are you happy with the relationship generally?

I am very happy with the relationship as it is. I'm not looking for commitment. My biggest concern really is for my sexual health.

Of course there's no guarantee of being exclusive with the kind of set up we have.

OP posts:
ButterflyOil · 21/12/2022 08:18

That sounds perfectly reasonable. Can you have that discussion with him and say you really need openness regarding sexual health?

C1N1C · 21/12/2022 08:19

This actually happened to me last week when my wife and I were at it. We work from home and it is absolutely certain there's no one else, what had happened is she'd been binge-watching too much crap on tv and called me by a character name. It wasn't even a good looking character, just one she may have been thinking about...

I wasn't offended, my wife is known for her quirkiness, but had a good laugh.

As with all these things, you're married. If he had been acting weird recently, working late, secretive with phone etc, then reason to worry. If not, I'd just call it a brain fart. Only you know for sure :)

Lost123454 · 21/12/2022 08:22

He was fantasizing that somebody called Samantha was giving him head

Original poster
WinterEthos · 21/12/2022 08:23

ButterflyOil · 21/12/2022 08:18

That sounds perfectly reasonable. Can you have that discussion with him and say you really need openness regarding sexual health?

That's where my thought process is going. Just ask him next time I see him "Are you sleeping with anyone else?".

I just wanted to check I wasn't making the wrong name thing into a big deal if it's quite common for people! Like I said, I nearly did it too a couple of weeks ago.

OP posts:
PinkButtercups · 21/12/2022 08:25

Lost123454 · 21/12/2022 08:22

He was fantasizing that somebody called Samantha was giving him head

This is it. Literally.

ButterflyOil · 21/12/2022 08:26

It could be nothing but it could be something. Regardless of which, I think it can be used as a good way to have that conversation anyway - you know, something along the lines of that it got you thinking about sexual health and open the discussion from there?

l

feliciabirthgiver · 21/12/2022 08:27

I have done this twice to my poor DP - I genuinely was not fantasising about anyone else but in that passionate/fuggy brain state the wrong name just slipped out!

Greenfairydust · 21/12/2022 08:28

He was thinking about someone else...

Is that really the type of relationship you want?

custardbear · 21/12/2022 08:28

Lost123454 · 21/12/2022 08:22

He was fantasizing that somebody called Samantha was giving him head

That'll be it!
You should discuss with him re exclusivity if you're concerned about SH

Original poster
WinterEthos · 21/12/2022 08:32

custardbear · 21/12/2022 08:28

That'll be it!
You should discuss with him re exclusivity if you're concerned about SH

Show quote history

Yes, I think you're right. That's probably the most sensible thing to do!

OP posts:
Original poster
WinterEthos · 21/12/2022 08:33

Greenfairydust · 21/12/2022 08:28

He was thinking about someone else...

Is that really the type of relationship you want?

Really really definitely the type of relationship I want. After years of living with an abusive man, I need my own space and freedom.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 21/12/2022 08:35

It sounds as though you have an expectation of exclusivity but haven't actually discussed it?

I wouldn't class it as cheating to have someone else in your head during sex, up to you how you feel about it.

If you want to ensure you're not having sex with someone who is sleeping with others you need to talk to him.

Marineboy67 · 21/12/2022 08:36

He's probably a secret Sex in the City watcher 😆

ZekeZeke · 21/12/2022 08:54

Get an STD if you have been having unprotected sex

FahridaFaraho · 21/12/2022 09:10

I think it's likely that he is having sex with other women and if he thought you wouldn't shag him if you knew this he probably just wouldn't tell you the truth. Samantha is someone on his mind sexually.
Why would a man be exclusive with a casual long distance partner? Too much temptation and not enough commitment to do this.

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