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Original poster

I think I’ve just been catfished but to what end?

47 replies

BearFacedCheekGrylls · 20/12/2022 19:01

Nice looking guy on tinder, verified profile, chatted a bit, video called to check real etc.

then suddenly he deleted every message and disappeared, unmatched from me.

id sent a couple of pictures but nothing revealing, things were getting flirty but not sexual.

what do they get out of this? Feel like such an idiot

OP posts:
ButterflyOil · 20/12/2022 19:05

That doesn’t sound like catfishing. He’s unmatched you so all the messages automatically disappear. As to why, god only knows - people are flaky on OLD.

forlornlorna1 · 20/12/2022 19:06

Ah he probably realised you were out of his league x

Oysterbabe · 20/12/2022 19:06

That isn't catfishing.

NeonBoomerang · 20/12/2022 19:06

How is that Catfishing??

jtaeapa · 20/12/2022 19:07

Maybe married

statetrooperstacey · 20/12/2022 19:08

His wife probably got suspicious.

AmazonPrim · 20/12/2022 19:08

OP do you know what catfishing actually is? That certainly isn't it. You video called. Then he realised you weren't what he was looking for and unmatched you. A shame yes. A catfish no.

WunWun · 20/12/2022 19:08

Not catfishing at all, just someone being a dick. It's taken me two years but I now finally don't get my hopes up about anyone I speak to on a dating app whatsoever. I also don't get flirty, because doing that before meeting someone never ends well.

Wakk · 20/12/2022 19:09

That's not a catfish.

Parroteets · 20/12/2022 19:10

That's not great but it's not catfishing. I imagine he didn't feel that there was a connection after he'd spoken to you on the video call.

The blocking/deleting thing happens a lot. It's normally people who aren't serious about meeting and have a number of people ok on the go just for an ego boost.

TeachesOfPeaches · 20/12/2022 19:10

Ghosted not catfished

PeekAtYou · 20/12/2022 19:10

Cat fishing is lying about who you are. So if I registered on a dating site with a pic of Angelina Jolie and pretending I was her (I'm not her) then that would be catfishing. As you have video chatted, he is who he says he is.

I would suspect that he's found someone he prefers or a wife/long term partner has forced him to deregulated. Either way- a lucky escape for you.

Daviduk3 · 20/12/2022 19:14

This reply has been deleted

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Perridot · 20/12/2022 19:15

@Daviduk3 go spout your incel nonsense elsewhere

Oopsiedaisyy · 20/12/2022 19:17

Sounds like you weren't what he was looking for, that's ok, you will be right for someone else.

Watchkeys · 20/12/2022 19:55

Why do you need to understand the mindset? Who cares? People are all different, and don't make sense to each other. Stay away from the ones you find weird. Stick around with the ones who make most sense to you. Don't waste your time trying to understand strangers who confuse you.

Original poster
BearFacedCheekGrylls · 20/12/2022 20:05

Oh ok not cat fishing I get the message, thanks 😊 . I thought it was just generally pretending to be something you’re not. It was just weird as we were taking on WhatsApp, he was asking me to go for a coffee then he deleted every single message.

I thought he must have been after my pictures for some reason maybe to set up a fake profile. Maybe I’m too paranoid. But no use second guessing

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 20/12/2022 20:09

I hope your face wasn't in the photos.

Original poster
BearFacedCheekGrylls · 20/12/2022 20:11

@FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar yes my face was in the pictures, they were just pictures of me in clothes.

that’s what I’m paranoid about, but not sure what they could be used for

OP posts:
ShandaLear · 20/12/2022 20:15

His wife found out, or he was casually dating someone he decided to get more serious about, and he took the cowards way out. I wouldn’t read too much into it.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 20/12/2022 20:16

Ok, that's a relief.
Hope you meet someone decent who is worthy of you.

Original poster
BearFacedCheekGrylls · 20/12/2022 20:20

I’m clearly not cut out for this. Was so unexpected

OP posts:
LabradorEyes · 20/12/2022 20:24

That happens in almost every occasion with OLD. Once the person decides they are not interested in you, they just unmatch you and disappear. I used to find it really confusing but by now I'm used to it

Weekenders · 20/12/2022 20:27

As above, this wasn't catfishing and you can't possibly work out why he did it as it could be any number of reasons.

Move onto the next one.

ButterflyOil · 20/12/2022 20:27

It’s really tough and can be upsetting. It’s rubbish but is very common on dating sites. Try not to take it too personally - many people like the chat and video call and so on but then get cold feet about a real meet and just unmatch.

Really sucks but there are some lovely people on online dating, there is also a long running online dating thread on here where people share support which might be helpful to you.