Months ago in the aftermath of yet another two horrible, vile relationship break downs I had a stupid cow moment and signed up to a paid dating site after going temporarily insane and thinking at the grand old age of 38 I might actually find a bit of love in life. Pfft, I know. Twat. My heart sheepishly apologises to my brain. Anyway I got chatting to a very handsome lad (not man, clearly) who I knew vaguely years ago. He asks me out after an afternoon of messaging and I say yes, I was actually quite looking forward to seeing him. Only problem is as soon as I say yes he fades off... the questions stop, vague responses etc. The chase is over. Lo and behold he cancels because of some absolute bullshit "work" thing, which is clearly translation for "I'm not really into you but hang on in there in case I don't get a better offer". Righto, take care dear. I'll just wait here. Then weeks later he appears out of nowhere and says he's around now and free (yay!!) so if I "wanna grab that drink" let him know. To his absolute amazement I politely declined and wished him well so he said FINE then blocked me on watsapp. Because obviously I was stalking this absolutely irresistible King Of The World. He's messaged me since then on this dating app a couple of times, then last night again with another request. So out of sheer boredom and insomnia I replied and said I'm no longer looking for a relationship and am not interested in meeting him. He just couldn't get his head around it. Why won't I meet him? Why am I still on there if I want to be alone? (Because im paid up until January matey so I might as well entertain myself reading the utterly horrific messages from men asking me to spank them, to others telling me they'd love to rip these leggings off me). Phwoar!! I mean fuck me, who said romance was dead?! It's my loss apparently and I'm totally unreasonable for not wanting to speak to him again.
Honestly these people baffle me. I'm so glad I signed up to the whole thing, it's been an eye opener. I mean seriously, I thought my real life experiences had pushed me over the edge but there's nothing like the OLD rollercoaster to well and truly pick you up and blast you right into permanent retirement. Bridget Jones - give me those fucking pants and a couple of cats to go with it. If I'd not done the OLD thing I'd have been in my 60s wondering what if I'd found him on there? So I'm now at peace knowing there was no him and there was no there. Just this little gem, another one who got very creepy after I backed out of meeting him and a few other love stories. But basically a bunch of dicks looking for sex, fall back girls and playing more games than the Olympics.
To the posters who get it - your comments give me a boost and make me feel less alone during what can be the hardest holiday of the year for people who are not totally but pretty much alone in life.
To the posters who don't get it - see direct paragraph above about posters who get it.
Right, that's been therapeutic as I like to write down my thoughts and experiences down on here as opposed to dragging down some poor bastard in real life. I'm now off for a long winter walk in the peace, quiet and tranquility.
Have a good day everyone x