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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband bought a card,To the one I love, but it wasn't for me.

59 replies

Oohchocolate · 15/12/2022 20:26

Long time lurker here, but just feeling a bit sick even tho I know this has been coming for years. I found a receipt on my kitchen floor from a card shop says " To the one I love, couple" The card I've received from my husband says "to my wife" and is fro a different shop. There is no one else at home just us.
So, what to do? I've been thinking for a long time of leaving him ( this wouldn't be the first time he's cheated) but I'm so scared of the unknown and all of the stress that comes with a divorce, I really don't know what the process is. I don't want to upset my family either and I know my mum will see a divorce as a failure as my parents were together literally a lifetime until my dad passed away earlier this year. So I'm going to wait Christmas out best I can then in the new year, I don't know...
Not sure why I've suddenly decided to post this, maybe seeing it in black and white confirms it is real.

OP posts:
PrincessFiorimonde · 16/12/2022 00:52

Butteredtoast55 · 15/12/2022 23:01

Your mum might surprise you. Yes, she will have wanted a good, long marriage for you as this is what she had. But if you're unhappy, and he's cheating, then it's not a good marriage and she might actually feel it's better for you to be strong and end it.
I'm not advocating that you leave him because I don't know you, just offering another perspective!

Yes, this. My parents were happily married for more than 40 years. When I left my husband after an eleven-year marriage, I did wonder if my mum would say that I should stick it out (my dad had died by then). But in fact she was very supportive. So you might actually find that your mum will support your decision to leave - especially if she knows your H has cheated on you before.

Best wishes, Op Flowers

Stormz · 16/12/2022 01:50

Watch Love Actually did you op?

🤔

ittakes2 · 16/12/2022 06:59

If you want to know go to the card shop and buy the card he bought you and see what’s on the receipt. But it sounds like you have bigger issues.

Judgyjudgy · 16/12/2022 07:07

Have I read this right? There is a receipt that differs from the card received? That doesn't mean anything??

Original poster
Oohchocolate · 16/12/2022 08:14

@SarahDippity oh my this is so true, I am reactive. Thank you. I've done it for so long I it's become normal, I hadn't realised. What an idiot I've been not to see it. x

OP posts:
larkstar · 30/12/2022 23:02

@Oohchocolate did you get to the bottom of this or is it still on your mind?

Original poster
Oohchocolate · 31/12/2022 00:18

@larkstar thank you for the catch-up.
no I haven't got to the bottom of it. I know you said why don't people just talk but this is something I struggle with. I struggle with expressing how I feel. I'm labeled as hard, cold, blunt and to the point, I don't pick up on other people's emotions easily. I'm not making excuses I just find it really difficult I can't express or find the right words. And right now I don't have the strength to approach him. I'm sorry. x

OP posts:
Ineedtosleep79 · 31/12/2022 11:16

Oohchocolate · 31/12/2022 00:18

@larkstar thank you for the catch-up.
no I haven't got to the bottom of it. I know you said why don't people just talk but this is something I struggle with. I struggle with expressing how I feel. I'm labeled as hard, cold, blunt and to the point, I don't pick up on other people's emotions easily. I'm not making excuses I just find it really difficult I can't express or find the right words. And right now I don't have the strength to approach him. I'm sorry. x

😔 Sending you love and light 💐🕯️ x

Ineedtosleep79 · 31/12/2022 11:20

Just to say, that receipt thing is so common. It happened to me the other day. I ordered something in a café and on the receipt it was something completely different but with the same price. People sometimes lump certain items under the same category on a till. Not saying this is definitely what happened obviously you will have a better feel for the situation, just thought it was worth mentioning x

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