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Original poster

Am I in the wrong...

45 replies

lalala1234 · 15/12/2022 17:22

Went out for a meal with partner earlier.

Nice meal but we are coming home for pudding. The waiter asked if we wanted dessert and I said no and my partner said "we are going to a party after this so will probably have pudding there but thank you".

Waiter walked off and I said.."what party's that then?".

He's normally very to the point, has no problem with saying no etc.

I pulled him up on it again because I was confused as to why he bothered with a lie like that,and now he's gone mad. Saying I'm being weird and not to bother with him tonight. Apparently he said it because he didn't want to make the waiter feel bad (it's a family run business). He's not normally like that but meh, assume that's the truth.

Now he's trying to say I'm belittling him about it...I literally just asked because it's such an odd thing to lie about.

Am I actually in the wrong here??!

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 15/12/2022 17:27

I don't get why you needed to question him twice on it so I'm inclined to think you may be in the wrong. His explanation makes sense to me but did you think there was more to it? I think your reaction would make more sense if there's something else going on.

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 15/12/2022 17:28

Yes. Sorry. He gave a white lie because he thought it would make the waiter feel better, nothing too odd about that.

monsteronahill · 15/12/2022 17:29

You sound like you were in the wrong, as PP have said it was something to placate the waiter.

Why did you feel the need to dig about it? 🤷🏻‍♀️ just let it go, go home and enjoy your pudding!

pog100 · 15/12/2022 17:31

Loads of people will tender an explanation as to why they are refusing something, from good to dates. They are often not strictly the truth. It's a way of smoothing social interactions. His reaction to your questioning seems a bit over the top though. "Just wanted to make the waiter feel better" should have been the end of it. If you pursued it more than that, you are in the wrong

RandomPerson42 · 15/12/2022 17:31

I don’t know why you even mentioned it once. YABU.

pog100 · 15/12/2022 17:32

"food to dates"

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/12/2022 17:32

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 15/12/2022 17:28

Yes. Sorry. He gave a white lie because he thought it would make the waiter feel better, nothing too odd about that.

Yep. You embarrassed him for no reason at all.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/12/2022 17:34

You sound like hard work. Leave the poor guy alone. He hasn't done anything wrong.

gannett · 15/12/2022 17:35

Telling the waiter a white lie was a little bit weird (which I think your partner knows hence not wanting to talk about it).

Refusing to accept that explanation and interrogating him about it (and then posting about it on the internet) is a LOT weird though. He did something clumsy and not strictly necessary but also completely unimportant so let it go!

SheWoreYellow · 15/12/2022 17:36

I think the white lie was worse than the truth!

It’s fine to say you’re full.

LooneyToon · 15/12/2022 17:38

Mine does things just like this, I just chuckle to my self inside at his weirdness

iklboo · 15/12/2022 17:39

Why on earth did you interrogate him? It's not like he said you were going mountain climbing or drag racing.

TheOinkySplit · 15/12/2022 18:13

The whole thing sounds weird. Why didn't he/ you just say "no thanks, just the bill please"? Do you go there often and always have pudding?

Haveahappyholiday · 15/12/2022 18:14

I wouldn’t call it a big issue. You knew what he was doing and why. I wouldn’t say it was a major ‘lie’ just a silly reason he made up on the spot.

TedMullins · 15/12/2022 18:17

I’m on your side here OP I’d think it was weird if my partner did that, but then I generally take a dim view of people pleasing. Sounds like he overreacted to being questioned

Pismascrescents · 15/12/2022 19:59

It’s a white lie. I wouldn’t have said anything. The waiter probably knew and didn’t care.

I’ve noticed a lot of people do this rather than just say no and risk offending anyone. It’s very British.

category12 · 15/12/2022 20:04

Weird lie, weird fight.

Fairislefandango · 15/12/2022 20:08

You were both in the wrong. He absolutely had no need to lie, but you had no need to pull him up on it.

NippyWoowoo · 15/12/2022 20:15

YABU

Confused
CrispyEgg · 15/12/2022 20:20

You could have played along, been flirty and had a “party” back at yours.

EasterIsland · 15/12/2022 20:45

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 15/12/2022 17:28

Yes. Sorry. He gave a white lie because he thought it would make the waiter feel better, nothing too odd about that.

Nothing odd. You might not agree with his action, but badgering him is unreasonable.

Ineedtosleep79 · 15/12/2022 20:54

😂😂😂

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 15/12/2022 23:08

TedMullins · 15/12/2022 18:17

I’m on your side here OP I’d think it was weird if my partner did that, but then I generally take a dim view of people pleasing. Sounds like he overreacted to being questioned

I thought that too. Telling the OP "not to bother with [him] tonight" is bizarre. What did he mean? It's quite chilling I find.

OldFan · 15/12/2022 23:14

If someone says something I've done is weird or mad or something, I'm quite sensitive about that and don't like it.

But it does sound like he overreacted. Had strong drink been taken?

dolor · 15/12/2022 23:20

🙄

Yeah you're being unreasonable