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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He deleted pictures of us

59 replies

Whatnext1 · 14/12/2022 17:24

Hi in a relationship for 5 months and we went out to a lovely charity ball last weekend. I asked him to take a selfie (as I look weird when I take them) and he said "oh what??"
I said of us and then he just sat there. So I asked again and it felt like I forced him.

I then had someone take sone full length ones on my phone.

Yesterday I asked him to forward the selfie as I'm making a montage of photos for a present and he ignored me but answered other things. I asked again a couple more times throughout the day and was ignored.
When I then questioned why, he said he couldn't find it... clearly he'd deleted it. I asked but he said "no, I havent" I asked what other explanation there could be and he said "it must be a technical glitch"

Hes making me feel like I'm crazy fir asking but its pretty clear he permanently deleted it and can't restore it, right?!

As a side note, I sent him copies of the full length ones if us in tuxedo and evening dress and he didn't even comment, not a emoji or a "that's nice"

Just wanted outsiders points of view.

Hes checked out right?

OP posts:
Lotzana · 14/12/2022 17:26

Dump and move on.

shropshire11 · 14/12/2022 17:27

Possibly. But you could be reading far too much into it. Some people don’t like the constant pressure to take photos. Other people feel insecure about their appearance in general, or in certain photographs in particular.

curiositydoll · 14/12/2022 17:27

Does he hate posing for photos?

I'm afraid I'm one of those people. I hate selfies and hate having photos of me taken just standing there.

Whatnext1 · 14/12/2022 17:29

Unfortunately he isn't one of those people. He's quite happy for a photo other times.. or with others

OP posts:
Beanie567 · 14/12/2022 17:29

I’d find it hurtful that he didn’t want a photo of us together at a special and fun night out.

Wakk · 14/12/2022 17:38

Is he definitely single?

thewayround · 14/12/2022 17:40

This photo montage of pics of you… presumably for him?

thewayround · 14/12/2022 17:41

As a side note, I sent him copies of the full length ones if us in tuxedo and evening dress and he didn't even comment, not a emoji or a "that's nice"

OP you sound very very high maintenance

CambsAlways · 14/12/2022 17:46

Doesn’t sound as he’s that much into you op

Ilovelurchers · 14/12/2022 17:49

Could he have another partner, one who goes through his phone?

I think if he has checked out this will be apparent in aspects other than his attitude towards the photos. Is it?

strugglingdaily · 14/12/2022 17:53

was it your friends you were with at this ball or his?

UnfinishedUserna · 14/12/2022 17:57

Red flags! Especially if he's usually ok with being photographed with others, that makes it personal against you.

My money is on him wanting to continue to appear 'single' to others 🤷🏻‍♀️

Quweenie · 14/12/2022 17:57

It’s crazy how many men experience these technical glitches all the time, bless them.

notanothertakeaway · 14/12/2022 17:59

My money's on him not being single, hence doesn't want photos of you together

Sorry, but the obvious answer is often the correct one

Newwardrobe · 14/12/2022 18:01

Have you put any photos of the two of you on sm ?

MadameMackenzie · 14/12/2022 18:01

My money is on him being a cheat I'm afraid. Don't try to dig for the truth - it will only hurt more. Protect yourself & your own mental health and just walk away!

showysnowy · 14/12/2022 18:01

He sounds like he isn't single.

catfunk · 14/12/2022 18:03

Are you sure he's single op? How often do you see him, have you been to his house etc .
My first thought was he doesn't want his wife to see the photo.

Sickofcoughing · 14/12/2022 18:09

Has this arisen before? Is he definitely single?

Lampan · 14/12/2022 18:09

I imagine you already have doubts about how he sees you, or the relationship, in order for this to have become an issue. Listen to your gut.

newfence · 14/12/2022 18:21

I am questioning exactly how single he is?!

girlmom21 · 14/12/2022 18:23

He didn't want his picture taken. For whatever reason, you shouldn't have continued to pester him.

But yeah - he's not that interested.

Opentooffers · 14/12/2022 18:30

I think he's probably a bit of a player and dating others at the same time. I've come across his type, you realise they are funny about you taking any pics in case you post them of you together on SM. They don't want other women finding out he's seeing someone as keeping their options open.
You can test this by putting a few pics up of you together and tagging him. See if he gets annoyed by it - which would be a fishy response.

Sunnytwobridges · 14/12/2022 18:39

I knew someone like this, he didn't want pictures on SM with whomever he was dating because he didn't see that person as his "forever" partner. Once he found someone he really felt that way about there were pictures of them together all over SM.

AmITooTired · 14/12/2022 18:43

I don’t think it means he’s checked out.

I mean I don’t really ever take pictures or care about them, sometimes someone sends me a pic from us hanging out too and I don’t save them.

I just don’t care.
Not everyone is a photo album- type.