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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He deleted pictures of us

59 replies

Whatnext1 · 14/12/2022 17:24

Hi in a relationship for 5 months and we went out to a lovely charity ball last weekend. I asked him to take a selfie (as I look weird when I take them) and he said "oh what??"
I said of us and then he just sat there. So I asked again and it felt like I forced him.

I then had someone take sone full length ones on my phone.

Yesterday I asked him to forward the selfie as I'm making a montage of photos for a present and he ignored me but answered other things. I asked again a couple more times throughout the day and was ignored.
When I then questioned why, he said he couldn't find it... clearly he'd deleted it. I asked but he said "no, I havent" I asked what other explanation there could be and he said "it must be a technical glitch"

Hes making me feel like I'm crazy fir asking but its pretty clear he permanently deleted it and can't restore it, right?!

As a side note, I sent him copies of the full length ones if us in tuxedo and evening dress and he didn't even comment, not a emoji or a "that's nice"

Just wanted outsiders points of view.

Hes checked out right?

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 14/12/2022 18:57

Definitely dump. I would also question if he’s definitely single.

ChrisTrepidation · 14/12/2022 18:57

Are you sure he's single?

Because he certainly doesn't appear to want to risk being seen as part of a couple!

NeonBoomerang · 14/12/2022 19:00

Maybe he just didn't like how he looked in the pic?

Dillydollydingdong · 14/12/2022 19:02

I don't know. I don't particularly like photos of me and dp together on FB. Together 3 years but idk if it'll be forever.

nancydroo · 14/12/2022 19:04

He's a loser

hmmmintereting · 14/12/2022 19:10

You're only 5 months in, could he be waiting until he's sure the relationship has legs before going public? Thinking he might assume if he sends you pics or is enthusiastic about some, you might post on social media?

PaleGreenFrontDoor · 14/12/2022 19:35

thewayround · 14/12/2022 17:41

As a side note, I sent him copies of the full length ones if us in tuxedo and evening dress and he didn't even comment, not a emoji or a "that's nice"

OP you sound very very high maintenance

And you sound very very ridiculous. Was this the best you could think of as a reply?

Original poster
Whatnext1 · 14/12/2022 19:35

Yes he's single...

If he doesn't like posing fir pictures, why not just say that, rather than delete and lie..

Hes already lied a few times before

No pics on SM, he won't let us as says he wants his life private

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatnext1 · 14/12/2022 19:37

It's not even about not wanting a photo taken.. its why did he delete ones of us and its the lie that's the biggest problem

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatnext1 · 14/12/2022 19:38

@thewayround I don't think it's high maintenance to have communication and input into conversations, things regarding us and the relationship.

OP posts:
InSummertime · 14/12/2022 19:39

He is absolutely not single

and he is not invested at all in the relationship

MamaFirst · 14/12/2022 19:42

Was the charity ball with his friends? Colleagues? Anyone who knows him? My first impression was also that he's not single. He deleted evidence of the two of you.

panko · 14/12/2022 19:44

Whatnext1 · 14/12/2022 19:35

Yes he's single...

If he doesn't like posing fir pictures, why not just say that, rather than delete and lie..

Hes already lied a few times before

No pics on SM, he won't let us as says he wants his life private

Are you sure?

arethereanyleftatall · 14/12/2022 19:44

Whatnext1 · 14/12/2022 19:35

Yes he's single...

If he doesn't like posing fir pictures, why not just say that, rather than delete and lie..

Hes already lied a few times before

No pics on SM, he won't let us as says he wants his life private

You are saying he's single, but to all of us who are uninvested emotionally in him, I'm sorry op, but he isn't behaving as if he's single. And even if he was, why does he get to control what you put on sm?

ICanHideButICantRun · 14/12/2022 19:44

He's not single. Not saying he's married, but he's definitely got other people looking at his profile, people women that he doesn't want to see a photo of you.

LooneyToon · 14/12/2022 20:01

Maybe he looked ugly in it?

ExtraJalapenos · 14/12/2022 20:12

Hes already lied a few times before

Dump. You've barely been together 5 months and you already got this going on. Cut your losses

SalviaOfficinalis · 14/12/2022 20:14

Have you met any of his friends or family OP?

Newwardrobe · 14/12/2022 20:32

Yes he's single

No he's not.

girlmom21 · 14/12/2022 20:59

Why keep wasting your time on someone who lies to you?

frozendaisy · 14/12/2022 22:04

Not up to him what you put on social media.
Yeah he sounds like he is not what you are looking for.

Bookworm20 · 15/12/2022 11:19

So he didn't want pictures on his phone of the 2 of you. And doesn't want any on social media because hes ' a private person'. I've met a few who are 'private people'. They only ever are private about certain things though it always turns out.

You could check if he has saved the ones of you together that you sent. Just say you accidently deleted them (bloody technical glitches, eh!) and can he send you them back.

Chances are he has deleted those too. That there lies your answer as to how single he really is. Or how single he wants to appear.

whattodo1975 · 15/12/2022 11:23

Post a picture of you and him on social media together, tag him and see what his reaction is.

FermisLeftFoot · 15/12/2022 12:59

He may not actually be with someone else, but sounds like he wants to look single online / not advertise he’s with you.

Original poster
Whatnext1 · 15/12/2022 12:59

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Yet another thing happened last night which is a whole other story but resulted in me ending it. Wish it was easy!!

Thanks again

OP posts: