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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you tell your husband that you cheated 10 years ago?

83 replies

NameChange784 · 13/12/2022 15:56

DH and I have been together for 15 years, since we were teenagers. We've been married 4 years. The first 4-5 years of our relationship were fairly typical for a teenage/early 20s relationship I'd say - quite a lot of drama, on-again off-again, lots of bickering, we'd split up for a week if we had a bad argument and get back together. Very immature. We grew up, matured and stayed together and for the past 10 or so years we've had a very stable, happy relationship (now marriage). We have two kids, a house, a dog and rarely argue, not about anything big anyway.

When I was 20 I cheated on DH with a school friend of both of ours, I'll call him Tim. DH doesn't know the full extent of this. What he does know is that during a summer where he and I were broken up for about 2 months, I hooked up a few times with Tim. He thinks this all happened when we were separated. What he doesn't know, is that about 6 months later, when we were back together, Tim and I kissed (plus some touching) while very drunk at a party. We had had sex several times while DH and I were apart, but on this occasion we didn't go any further, so there was no sex involved in the cheating. I didn't tell DH at the time and never have. So as far as he's aware, once we got back together, nothing further happened between me and John.

After I cheated, I intentionally cut Tim out of my life as much as possible. We have a lot of mutual friends and live in the same area so I've seen him in a group setting from time to time (DH often there too) but have tried to avoid being in a conversation with him, so we haven't had more interaction than occasional small talk since. I haven't seen him socially for years, but have bumped into him a couple of times over the past 5 or so years, been polite and left. For me it's very much a thing of the distant past and feels like something from my childhood - the hooking up when DH and I were separated was during the 2012 Olympics, which feels like a very long time ago!

But I do still feel guilty about it, and the fact that DH is oblivious to the cheating. What would the moral thing be to do here? Part of me wants to get it off my chest. I honestly don't think it'd be much more than a sad conversation at this point, I certainly don't think we'd break our marriage and family up over it. And clearing my conscience about it would feel like a weight off my mind. But would I just be hurting his feelings for no reason? What's the right thing to do at this point? Would you want to know if you were in his position?

Disclaimer - what I did was 100% wrong and I'm in no way trying to minimise it. I'm only trying to explain that how long ago it was and how young we were makes it feel like something that happened in another lifetime. DH and I and are relationship are completely different people to who we were back then, and I certainly didn't think I'd end up marrying my teenage boyfriend and bringing this baggage with me into adult life!

OP posts:
NameChange784 · 13/12/2022 15:57

Tim* not John 🫥

Fake names are confusing, sorry!

OP posts:
Respectfullydisagree · 13/12/2022 16:01

Why now? If you’ve kept it a secret for this long… why didn’t you tell him at the time? Personally I wouldn’t. But if you want a clear conscience and are ready for whatever the consequences might be then go for it.

Pootles34 · 13/12/2022 16:03

No I would keep your mouth zipped over this one. You would only be telling him for your benefit, to clear your conscience. It sounds like you've moved on and don't see this guy any more, so just let sleeping dogs lie.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 13/12/2022 16:05

You'd be telling him to make you feel better so telling him is selfish. You aren't doing it for him. You are only doing it for you.

Typically I think that couple's should know about these sorts of things so they can make fully informed decisions whether to be together or not. It sort of sounds like if you had of told him at the time, you would have broken up and gotten back together anyways.

So no, I wouldn't tell him now as it's not fair on him. It's selfish of you and will hurt him to sooth your guilt.

Smooshface · 13/12/2022 16:06

Even though I've been on the receiving end of cheating i wouldn't tell in this case, you think it would be good closure but are you ready to hurt your partner? What if they are incredibly crushed by this revelation, then you just have both the guilt of the act and the guilt of further causing of harm. Surely that will be worse than the guilt you are carrying about the secret?

orangegato · 13/12/2022 16:08

Absolutely do not do this, it will damage your relationship for what you think is ‘peace’ getting it off your chest. Do not, I repeat do not do it. What if he thinks about ‘Tim’ for the rest of his life, loses respect for you etc? It won’t end well and you’ll both feel shit and once you’ve said it you can’t unsay it.

Ihatethenewlook · 13/12/2022 16:10

No. You don’t blow up your husbands life to alleviate your own guilt. Why now?

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 13/12/2022 16:12

Write your confession on piece of paper and set fire to it. That’s it, it’s done.
Dont do this in front of your husband, obviously.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 13/12/2022 16:13

TBF I think you should live with the guilt because you did do something wrong. See it as a suitable punishment for what you did.

Pineconederby · 13/12/2022 16:15

Just leave it.

Notellinganyone · 13/12/2022 16:15

I love my DH dearly. I had a very drunken one night stand 8 years ago and wouldn’t tell him. It was a reunion and some unfinished business. We both knew it was a terrible idea as soon as it had happened. He would be devastated and it would achieve nothing. There’s no way he’s going to find out either as no one else knows.

TurtleTriplets · 13/12/2022 16:17

I think I would say let this one stay in the past. If you had slept together I might see it differently but as snog and a fumble, ten years ago. Leave it alone

ArcticSkewer · 13/12/2022 16:18

It was ten years ago. Why are you still thinking about it? Have you angsted about it for the whole ten years? Or more likely, started thinking about it again recently.

I'd be more interested in why you can't let it ho or have started obsessing about it again. What's changed?

Lampzade · 13/12/2022 16:18

Leave it Op. You will just have to live with the guilt

danceyourselfdizzy1 · 13/12/2022 16:19

No, let sleeping dogs lie. If it's to clear your conscience, then that ship has kind of sailed now and you will only cause immense hurt for your own small gain of alleviating some guilt. Just move forward with the rest of your lives together, be happy and forget about it.

PearlclutchersInc · 13/12/2022 16:20

Why would you, what would it achieve.

Do you really think it would make you feel better; it's unlikely do do any favours for your DH. If you don't want to hurt him, keep quiet.

If you really need to unburden yourself write to Dear Dierdre.

Cas112 · 13/12/2022 16:21

It may change everything for him. I don't think you should tell him now but if you did prepare for everything to change

I personally think it's selfish for you to tell him after all this time, it will feel like he's been living a lie

WhereYouLeftIt · 13/12/2022 16:22

"But I do still feel guilty about it"

The burden of this guilt is yours and yours alone. Do NOT shift it onto your husband's shoulders! That would be an incredibly selfish move on your part.

Ask yourself - who benefits if you tell him? He doesn't. Just you. So don't do it.

mummymeister · 13/12/2022 16:25

this is your guilt and you need to carry it. not share it with someone who trusted you. if you say a word now your relationship will be changed for ever. just dont go there. If its a hard secret to keep or its eating away at you well tough thems the breaks.

Oblomov22 · 13/12/2022 16:25

Don't do this. You're only doing it to alleviate your guilt.

W0tnow · 13/12/2022 16:25

Good lord. You were 20. Leave it. I wouldn’t even feel guilty. You’re not supposed to meet your life partner at 15.

BCBird · 13/12/2022 16:30

Absolutely no.way would tell.him. You certainly would not get peace of mind,everything might blow up.in your face. Put it behind you.

Kerrylass · 13/12/2022 16:30

i know what you did was wrong, but its hardly worth agonising over 10 years later. You made a mistake, you learnt from it. let it go. It all worked out in the end.

NameChange784 · 13/12/2022 16:31

ArcticSkewer · 13/12/2022 16:18

It was ten years ago. Why are you still thinking about it? Have you angsted about it for the whole ten years? Or more likely, started thinking about it again recently.

I'd be more interested in why you can't let it ho or have started obsessing about it again. What's changed?

I've always gone through periods of not thinking about it for lengths of time and then it pops back into my head and I remember and feel guilty. There's no particular reason why I'm thinking about it today I don't think. It popped into my head again because I read something about someone cheating on MN. Often it is when someone says something about cheating and how terrible it is, then I feel terrible too.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 13/12/2022 16:35

Don't tell...no good will come of it.

Honesty isn't always the best policy.

If my dh cheated on me ten years ago, regretted it, and everything was fine now, I'd rather not know.