30 Days no contact Dec 2022 - who's in ?!

[MrsMarkRonson]

Hi all,
Just broken up (had been going backwards and forwards for a while -was unhealthy - now I'm definitely wanting to pull plug).
Pretty upset still, was my first breakup after my marriage ended several years ago.
Anyway, starting today doing 30 days no contact - I remember it helped when my marriage ended:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/2669674-30-day-no-contact-for-the-broken-hearted-starts-here

Who's with me? today is Day 1 for me so far blocked on everything. Going to give myself a small reward for every day NC.

I’ve been here and it’s so tough, so I wish you all the luck in the world to stick to it. If it helps, I went 6 months NC with my ex and then accidentally made contact with him, ended up having a ONS (didn’t realise at the time it was one night!) and then he dumped me all over again. I was broken hearted but now another 6 months later and I can honestly say I’m over him. It’s been a hell of a year. So be gentle with yourself. I moved jobs, started taking ADs, have been on loads of dates, has sex with someone new and mentally separated from my past life with him. It will happen for you too, so if you do end up with a blip on the NC that doesn’t mean you weren’t right to try! Just start the 30 days again and put one foot in front of the other. You’ve got this.

I’ll join you - I’m 6 days in to no contact. Some days have been so hard!!

I'll join you. He dumped me a week ago, I was totally taken by surprise. He was still talking the talk right up until the very end. Apparently couldn't wait to see me whwn we spoke the night before, I woke to a text message telling me it was over. Its crap.

Oh gosh theres a few of us! @SteveHarringtonsChestHair yeah I was the same - had a few break up-back together ONS's 🙄- but we need a solid break now. I don't know if its easier or harder being Christmas and all? I have busy couple of weeks (Friend catch ups, Xmas parties, DC stuff etc) so have plenty to keep me occupied but I'm worried weeks after are gonna hit hard (were planning on spending NYE together etc). What do you all think?

I had initiated NC 2 weeks ago after being harshly dumped out of the blue. It's just shit, no other way to put it. He wanted to continue to be friends and said he couldn't not continue to speak to me but I asked him not to.

It did not get any easier day after day and I've now began some anti anxiety meds which are not helping.

I broke it on Friday and low and behold he wanted me round fri night for sex. He actually had the cheek to say that we were really good at the sex part!!!!
I said I missed him and he replied that he missed something which I won't repeat on here.
Reading your stories I see this is sadly pretty common. Really, really heartbreaking when you think you've fallen in love with someone.

I too am unsure if this is a good or bad time of year. I am busier but then am absolutely dreading January, I hate it at the best of times.

Its so so hard. I got dumped this time last year and went through the same process. No contact. Back in touch, had sex a few times but it wasn't the same, just felt really cold and pointless. Luckily I saw sense on that one and told him it wouldn't be happening again. Moved on after that. He did send the odd message after that trying to start a conversation but really what is the point ? It really only got better when we went no contact.

Hows everyone doing today?

He made contact last night. He'd got the wrong end of the stick about something and messaged me angry.

I replied giving him a piece of my mindIt felt good actually.....

@Whynowffs stick with the meds, they can take a while to settle and find the right ones etc but can be a total life saver. Back in the summer after the ONS with my ex I had to start Citalopram as I was - not suicidal exactly, but - ambivalent about living. I got my mojo back, felt better and happier than I had in years. Have recently come off them and missing them I think, so will try again. It really can lift you out of a dark spell like this.

@Itsjustamoment Good on you for giving a piece of your mind . . . sometimes you've just got to . . . hope everyone else is doing OK ?

@SteveHarringtonsChestHair thank you, it's anti anxiety meds they've given me but I've been warned they won't help the sadness and hopelessness feelings. I need to go back. I've been away with my DD and have really struggled coming home today, I can't face any of it.

He messaged me on Monday to wish my DD a happy birthday. I'm such an idiot as I shouldn't have replied, but would have felt so mean not to. It was just a couple of pleasantries and that was that.

He has a toy he offered to pick up for DD for Christmas - I think I'll ask him to give it to a mutual friend to give me. I'll pay him then that will be the end of any need for further contact.
This breaks my heart as I was stupidly hoping we'd get the opportunity to reconnect when I got the toy. As the days go on I realise I am utterly deluded 😞

Woo-hoo I have lasted over a er a week NC! Just over 3 more to go . . .

@MrsMarkRonson well done!
You're doing far better than me.
But tonight the toy has been dropped at a friends and there is no need for any further contact.
So....my heart is actually hurting with pain but from now on it is NC forever!

@Whynowffs Be kind to yourself ! its tough. I'm just focusing on making it through each day NC now.

When does the pain get easier 😢

@Whynowffs

I feel absolutely broken. I just saw him on his driveway when I went to my friends house, I looked over and he didn't even look up. Ran straight into his house.

How brutal is that 😢

@Whynowffs Did you run straight to your friends house? or his house.
Thats hard.

4 years no contact but still think of him every day but most days it is just fleeting. Waiting for the day when even that goes. It's been a long road but it does get easier . He wanted to be friends and l was so tempted but could not do that to myself. Good luck all the no contacters!

I waved anyway as wanted to be the bigger person and went straight to my friends door. Where I burst into tears.

Turned my phone on just now to see he's been trying to video call me when he's out drunk. How disrespectful is that after ignoring me earlier!! But I still love him and my heart hurts 😞.

@Tolatetotheparty 4 years 😩

@Tolatetotheparty I think thats normal after 4 years - I've been seperated from my husband for 5 years and still think of him. But I know I'm over him.

@Whynowffs Good on you for being the bigger person and waving then ignoring his call.

Can I join, I'm currently on day two of no contact (i broke it on Christmas Day by wishing him a merry Christmas)

Together for 4 years but quite tumultuous as we tried blending our families but it didn't work, so I moved out and we've tried to keep it together living apart for the past 18 months.
He ended it a week ago by text message

Welcome @cathythegreat and Merry Christmas to you all! Hope you've all had a good break?

@MrsMarkRonson difficult one this year, first time I've not felt it. Hope everyone had a good one.

Did anyone else break the no contact over Christmas?

I had a message Christmas Eve to say he had in fact waved twice. I don't think so. I stupidly told him I missed him and said merry Christmas. He replied it's weird to not talk to me all the time and merry Christmas. That was that. Time to move on and stick to it this time.

Happy New Year everyone! (I'm from NZ and it's 2023 here now).
Here's to all of us NC. (I'm now 3 weeks NC, woop woop though have been tempted to make contact many times).